I'm Mrs. Brightside

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2012-01-25T03:00:00.000-08:00

Storm Damage.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER

2012-01-22T21:42:00.000-08:00

I took Ally back to school today so the holidays are officially over. We went into San Francisco early to beat the play-off game traffic. We went out to one of her favorite neighborhood breakfast places after we dodged raindrops moving her stuff back in. She took a picture of me which is on my profile now.

She is not too sure about being back - she loves SF but has a challenging semester and a new roommate to meet and get to know. Here is her half of the room:

Doesn't she look at home? She just has to put up her 2012 Ferret calendar, unpack and pick up her books from the bookstore.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2012-01-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

1.) I have heard a remarkable number of people saying they won't ever go on a cruise after the news this week out of Italy. It's funny how people react to these infrequent incidents yet jump behind the wheel of a car each day.

2.) It's only 3 weeks into the new year but I have been diligent about my resolution and have clicked away from programs and not clicked over to read more about celebrities. I do continue to hear things now and again but I am doing pretty well at avoiding the stories and gossip. It actually feels really good, this not knowing stuff!

3.) I noticed that the Chico's stores are now expanding their sizing to include 18 to 20. Since they have the reputation as a store for adult women, I am glad that they recognise that not all women can mange to remain as slim as Diane Keaton, their current advertising model. Seems like a smart move to carry larger sizes.

4.) Looks like the public outcry, the internet blackout and the forced education of members of congress has worked:

“I have heard from the critics, and I take seriously their concerns regarding proposed legislation to address the problem of online piracy,” Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Tex.) said in a statement. “It is clear that we need to revisit the approach on how best to address the problem of foreign thieves that steal and sell American inventions and products.”

Let's hope that the next attempt doesn't give the Justice Department so much undefined power. From what I have learned, the best solution to the problem is the Wyden-Issa (OPEN) bill. It does not tamper with the internet, but uses an existing agency already devoted to the purpose of preventing foreign intellectual property infringement. The International Trade Commission, is empowered by the bill to investigate foreign sites and to block financial payment for the infringing and counterfeit products they offer.

This will not necessarily satisfy the entertainment industry because they want to control digital technology, not just physical copies of their products. They want to control digital works being traded and claim that it interferes with their business model - I have a problem with that. I understand the desire to make money off of everything they had a hand in, but the entertainment industry needs to adapt its business models to the advance of technology and not try to make the government turn into their own Big Brother.

5.) Go Niners!

MORE ABORTIONS WHEN OUTLAWED & A BOOK REVIEW

2012-01-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

Abortion rates are higher in countries where the procedure is illegal and nearly half of all abortions worldwide are unsafe, with the vast majority in developing countries, a new study concludes.

Experts couldn’t say whether more liberal laws led to fewer procedures, but said good access to birth control in those countries resulted in fewer unwanted pregnancies.

The global abortion rate remained virtually unchanged from 2003 to 2008, at about 28 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15 to 44, a total of about 43.8 million abortions, according to the study. The rate had previously been dropping since 1995.

About 47,000 women died from unsafe abortions in 2008, and another 8.5 million women had serious medical complications. Almost all unsafe abortions were in developing countries..

This headline popped out at me and reminded me that the lack of common sense behind the US anti-abortion campaign which has made it even more difficult for women in developing countries to have access to safe, affordable women's health services. And their goal to do the same here.

Our continuing course to the obliteration of the line between church and state is the setting of a harrowing novel I read a few weeks ago. "When She Woke" by Hillary Jordan is a re-imagining of The Scarlet Letter. Hannah, the conservatively indoctrinated, innocent young woman who has lived in conflict with her strict religious upbringing all her life falls in deep, passionate love with the famous, married preacher of the mega church she and her family attend. When she becomes pregnant, she has an illegal abortion, is caught and sentenced for the murder of her unborn child and her refusal to name the father and expose the abortionist.

In this not-too-distant future, convicted felons are no longer imprisoned but chemically treated to change their skin color to represent their crime and then released back into the population to survive as best they can. When Hannah woke following her conviction, her skin was red.

The book follows her as she tries to navigate her life as a Red, which dangerously unlike anything she has experienced in her sheltered life. In order to survive she has to leave her evangelical family behind, put her trust in strangers and embark on a road trip to her freedom. She also has to question the teachings of her narrow, religious upbringing.

I found the last quarter of the book less well realized and the ending seemed to come very suddenly and unsatisfactorily. Overall, a compelling, chilling read and a call to look at where our society is going.

WEBSITE BLACKOUT DAY

2012-01-18T08:56:00.000-08:00

MY MIND TIME TRAVELS

2012-01-17T11:56:00.000-08:00

I was texting with Maggie while waiting for a restaurant table the other day. She said she was finding some cute tops at Old Navy. I did not text back my surprise that she was shopping there after turning her nose up at that store for most of her teen years, just my good wishes for her shopping trip.

When we signed off my mind wandered to the past. I remembered when Old Navy was not in every mall, but was actually the name of The Gap's outlet store. My sister and I would make the long drive to the location and stock up on kids clothes we could not afford at mall prices.

Then I wondered why they named the store Old Navy and my mind traveled back to high school when there was an Army Navy surplus store on Main Street. We girls would go there and brave the overpowering smell of aging rubber tarps and molering sleeping bags to shop for interesting pieces of clothing.

The prize, as I remember it, was a pair of white 13 button sailor pants. And there my memory stops. I don't remember if I ever found some to fit me or even if any of my friends did.

Funny how the object of desire remains intact in memory.

PERSONAL PHOTO CHALLENGE

2012-01-13T09:37:00.000-08:00

Jen on the Edge is quite good at setting up challenges for herself and her blog readers/fans/minions. She has proposed that we all need to be more accepting of ourselves just as we are and not shy away from publishing photos of ourselves on our own blogs.

The challenge for today is to post a holiday photo of ouselves. Somehow the holidays got by without a photo of me on my own camera - but we did take a few shots at a post holiday dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend.

I am not allowed to say it is a bad picture or say anything negative about how I look. Here it is:

IS THE 99% THE UNINVOLVED MAJORITY?

2012-01-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

One of the things that really bothers me about today's journalism is the lack of relevant facts in the name of making a story, what? Palatable, punchy, easy on the brain?

Regarding a study of the differences in politics of the 1% and the 99% authored by the political scientists Benjamin Page, Fay Lomax Cook, and Rachel Moskowitz and recently released by the Russell Sage Foundation, found that the politics of the very wealthy are strikingly different.

Wealthy Americans are far more active in politics than less affluent citizens. Nearly all respondents said they voted in the 2008 elections; half of the respondents said they had contacted at least one type of government official in the past year; 41% reported attending a campaign speech or event and 68% said they donated to a political cause or campaign in the past four years. Roughly one of five respondents said they "bundled" contributions from other people for a party or political cause; on average, respondents reported giving $4,633 to political campaigns and organizations in the past year.

Lets look at 41 percent of the very wealthy reported attending a political meeting. Only 9 percent of Americans did so in 2008. But no definition of a political meeting is included. So my cynical mind says "Well of course! The 1% can afford those gazillion dollar a plate dinners."

The thing I like about reading news on the internet is that a little thought and a few clicks and you can usually find out what the story leaves out. Turns out the study considered attending a campaign speech or event as attending a political meeting. So that rally at the fairgrounds would count as much as a fund raising dinner.

I would still argue that rich folks have better attendance because they can afford travel to attend events held far from their residence; but I also admit that I didn't go to see McCain when he was in town during the last election. Actually, I didn't even know he was here, so the word must have been spread through GOP channels only. Guess they wanted to limit the hecklers. Would I have gone if I known about it and free tickets were available and I was free that day? Probably not. but I have attended "meet and greets" of local and state candidates.

But really, how accessible are most political events for the average Americans? And is it getting harder to actually see a political candidate in person without some sort of group affiliation? Do you accept the concept of saying the 1% is more involved in politics and so have earned the right to have more say?

ARE YOU LOOKIN AT ME?

2012-01-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

This is what my husband gave me for Christmas. I can't really explain it.

And yes, I have served beef in her presence.

RESOLUTION - TO KNOW LESS

2012-01-02T18:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas has been put away so I guess it's time to get focused on the year ahead. As trite as it is, resolutions or any other sort of plan makes sense. Otherwise, the year just seems to pass with no markers, no successes or failures to recognise.

This past year I was pretty much adrift. There were milestones in the family, but for myself, with no set goals except to be employed full time and get those damned benefits, there was nothing else on my radar. The get myself together and lose weight thing is perennial. Will the fact that my 40th high school reunion is this year make a difference? It didn't for the 30th...

No, it is time to move on to bigger things. Things with more weight than my ass. I read about the dismantling of women's reproductive rights and I get mad, but don't do anything - and that is why those rights are eroding - we who believe sit and don't do anything about it.

It ticks me off that I know about the damned Kardashians even though I have never watched their show(s) on TV. I am sick of reports about Dancing with the Stars on the morning news shows. And why is Entertainment Tonight reporting on political scandals? In my line of site at the gym is the Maury show which is apparently a program "helping" women determine who is the father of their baby. I don't plug in to hear the show, in fact I have taken to using my exercise machine with my eyes closed rather than see the daily parade of sloppy, swearing, angry, tacky and defiant people on the screen. And worse yet, the cheering and jeering audience.

On The View a while back Whoopie Goldberg said instead of petitioning to get the Kardashian show off the air (which some people are trying to do) just don't watch the shows. Well, I don't watch a lot of shows that I end up knowing about. I end up knowing about "celebrities", toddler beauty shows and dance moms. I hear about weddings, divorces, bankruptcies, thefts, car crashes, hook ups, break-ups, trials, text messages, and tweets. I wonder how far underground I have to go to avoid Snooki, the bachelor, the singers, the housewives, the losers and the makeovers?

So this year - that is what I plan to find out. It means I can't watch The Today Show which I have enjoyed for years - or at least up until the past 4 or 5 years when seems to have left the news department. If another show I happen to be watching - like The View - starts in on the gossip or features people from those tacky shows, I will turn them off. It means no more Bravo because the programming I watch isn't worth seeing the commercials for the shows I don't. I can record the shows and speed through the crap commercials when Project Runway, Work of Art or Mad Fashion is on.

On the internet I will stop reading the Huffington Post, Jezabel and avoid clicking on many of the links I run across here and there. There is so much smart content out there I will have more time to seek out.

My resolution this year is to become more ignorant of some things in the world around me - but it is also to get involved in the stuff that matters. That part I'm not so sure about, aside from blogging (preaching to the choir for the most part) I will need to explore ways to make a mark and make a difference.

That and reduce the size of my ass.

REMAINS OF THE HOLIDAY

2011-12-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

Hilda was not cooperating.

The house filled up. It was crowded , noisy and especially after the gifts were opened, it looked like an episode of Hoarders. Then it emptied out again. Well, Ally is around for a few more weeks but manages to be out more than in. The dog wandered around all day looking for her people. I carried out bags and bags of trash and recycling. Cleaned out the refrigerator. Ran the dishwasher, yet again. Scrubbed the sticky counter tops and did a quick mop of the equally sticky floor.

That's the one.

The recycling can is full of beer, wine and champagne bottles, one testament to the good time we had. I finally got my picture of the kids together and printed out my annual letter. I managed to sign and address them while at work, sent in time to be New Year's greetings.

Feedback indicates the biscotti and chocolate macaroons were the favorite cookies this year. The Sweet Potato Gratin I made for our big family dinner was a hit. I am thinking I should toss the Peppermint ice cream Maggie didn't polish off...

Tomorrow I will attack the one remaining mess - the wrapping table in the upstairs hall. Then I will reclaim the front bedroom for my pile of ironing and maybe put Downton Abbey on the TV while I iron. The new season is starting up in January.

So, the holidays. Fun, exhausting, tasty, familiar, satisfying, worth it.

HOLIDAY HOME TOUR 2011

2011-12-21T00:24:00.000-08:00

Welcome to our happy holiday shiny, sparkly home!

This is our entry.

A view of the living room.

Some close up details.

These are my little collection from Pier 1. I add one each year.

The angel is new.

The dining room - hanging light and china cabinet.

A tabletop display.

I re-used some of my ornament garlands from last year - I liked them too much to take them apart!

This is the den - not too much in here!

All the kids aren't home until later today so the tree isn't decorated yet... So that's it for us this year.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-12-13T19:51:00.000-08:00

Lifted from All The Good Names Were Taken.

MY HEAD IS ATTACHED BUT...

2011-12-09T18:03:00.001-08:00

After I tossed the clothes into the dryer, I heard a lot of clanging noises coming from the machine. I stopped it to investigate and saw 3 or 4 jackets and sweatshirts with big zippers and figured that must be the source. Started it again - bang, clang. I stuck my hand around to feel for something bigger than a zipper pull, I even pulled out some of the clothes to inspect closer. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Later in the day I went to empty the dryer and fold the clothes. A jacket for Tom, a couple of his sweatshirts, my red hoodie, new red dishtowels and, what's that in the back? I reached way in and pulled out an iPod. "Who the hell put an iPod in the hamper?" is going through my mind as I turn it over and see it is red.

It's my iPod. It has been through the washer and the dryer.

Then I remember. When I was leaving the gym I had noticed it needed charging. I unplugged the headphones and left them in the gym bag and slipped the iPod in my pocket. The rest of the story is obvious.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-12-08T09:28:00.001-08:00

1.) It always seems like local towns are fighting against cell towers (while everyone also complains about bad cell phone connections.) I know the concerns are partly for the unknown health issues , but mostly people are worried about the appearance of the towers causing their property values to be undermined.

I'm not fooled by towers dressed up like trees, the teal color they take on after time in the sun is just not a tree color found in nature. I wonder, though, if they couldn't make them look more artistic? Couldn't they sell them as "public art"? Maybe they should have a design contest and find ways to make them work properly but look cool.

2.) The Christmas music was turned on before Thanksgiving in the hotel. It was an interesting mix this year, more current artists performing renditions of old favorites. I realized why having the Christmas music in the background bothers me so much more than the rest of the music, actually Muzak. It's the lyrics. The rest of the year the music is all instrumental.

I mentioned it to our manager and she said that she hated the tape they had sent, that the hip hop (she called it rap) versions were inappropriate for our environment and she asked for a new instrumental one. Last night I realized after about 4 hours that the music was different. Yep, having music with singers is so much more invasive.

A small preview of my holiday decor.

3.) I am done with the decorating - except for the tree. I am saving that for when all the kids are here on the 19th. I try to purchase very little new each year and I like to recycle what I have and use it in different ways. This year I bought some ribbon, 2 new "pine" garlands and some sequined branches.

Jen on the Edge is hosting the Holiday Homes Tour again, and My photos will be included, hope you come by On December 21st.

4.) I am also almost done with shopping. I have not been to the mall and I may not even go there! I have set up my wrapping table and plan to spend a lot of time getting things wrapped and out of the way this weekend. Next weekend Maggie will want to sleep in the bed currently covered with boxes and bags and a pile of ironing.

I 'm also starting to plan meals for the family. I saw a segment on TV with chef Anne Burrel making Cornish Hens with Pomegranate Molasses. Doesn't that sound amazing? And Sweet Potato Gratin is what I am going to take to my sister's house. How are the holiday preparations going for you?

3.) I ended up having a one on one meeting with the benefits person for our company (the rest of the attendees are Spanish speaking and they had their own meeting.) After going through all the options and talking through my thinking and bottom line - coverage with more money in my paycheck - I decided on a High Deductible plan. That way I pay more than half what I have been paying and get a tax deductible Health Savings Account to put money in which collects interest and rolls over every year. So instead of paying Kaiser for a level of care we rarely use, I am paying myself in case there is a catastrophic event. I can't wait to see my paychecks in January!

NOOK LOVE

2011-12-06T21:15:00.001-08:00

I know I have written repeatedly (repetitively?) about my love for books. I swore I wouldn't go to an eReader because my fantasy home has floor to ceiling shelves full of books, not electronic devices. (Did you know there is a website called Bookshelf Porn for people like me?)

But now I am in trouble. I have read 4 books on my Nook - and I am ruined for the printed page. I am stunned to admit this. On the brightly lit, large fonted Nook, I speed through books tirelessly. When I picked up a paperback to read yesterday, I struggled after an hour or so. Again tonight, I read a few pages and started squinting and wondering why it's printed in such pale ink. I have to stop every few pages and rest my tired, old eyes.

This is such a bittersweet thing for me. I was thrilled to read the 500 pages of Edgar Sawtelle quickly, effortlessly. It was such a wonderfully different book. I was excited to get to a Susan Isaacs book as a fun antidote to the sad ending of Edgar - after just 58 pages I found myself looking at the B&N site to see how much it would cost to download it onto my Nook.

I am such a goner.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-12-01T17:58:00.001-08:00

1.) Somehow hearing that Britney Spears turns 30 today makes me feel older than having my 58th birthday yesterday!

2). The Christmas stuff went up at work on November 21. We were immediately the stop for everyone taking a stroll down the street. Our manager really tarts up the place! I had forgotten how stressful it is to be on guard over all the decorations, ornaments, stuffed toys, nutcrackers and extravagant nativity scene with kids and families swarming the lobby. But that's why I get the big bucks!

3.) The Bad News is that a Kentucky Baptist church has banned interracial couples from joining their church or participating in their services. This after the daughter of 2 church members attended a recent service accompanied by her Zimbabwean (Black) fiance.

Following that occasion, the church voted against interracial couples as a measure to "promote greater unity" for it's members.

I guess they don't have to love their neighbors in Kentucky churches.

4.) The Good News is that Elizabeth Warren is "surging" ahead of Scott Brown in the race for
Ted Kennedy's former Senate seat. Good news because that seat seems to be such a symbolically Democratic one and also because she is a wise, smart and caring person. When heckled and called a "socialist whore" by a jobless Tea Party member at a recent speech:

Hours later, she said she wasn't upset with the man himself, but rather with those who attempt to channel his anger in a malevolent direction. "I was thinking more about the heckler. I'm not angry with him, but he didn't come up with the idea that his biggest problem was Occupy Wall Street. There's someone else pre-packaging that poison -- and that's who makes me angry," she said.

Gotta love a person like that!

5.) Our a post Thanksgiving dinner we were all riffing on the Occupy movement and the Balck Friday shoppers. Why could they camp out at the mall but not at city hall, etc. you know, "Occupy Best Buy". Ally said they could have signs saying "We are the 99% Off!" Clever girl.

So now I am going out to occupy a few stores.

MY NO CHARGE MARKETING PLAN FOR DENTISTS

2011-12-01T09:02:00.001-08:00

An article in the LA Times about the declining revenues for dentists caught my attention. The article is about the new marketing efforts of dentists who are seeing their profits drop as patients are skipping cleanings, fillings and other dental work.

Their response is to seek new marketing strategies. They are paying marketing consultants to tell them about social media, upgrade their websites and even to add spa like amenities to their practices.

That's why Vines hired Steffany Mohan, a fellow dentist and marketing consultant who says that keeping patients satisfied is as important as persuading them to walk through the door.

Mohan emphasizes personal service: Dentists should offer sedation to patients nervous about pain, and make dental care feel like a trip to the spa with amenities such as scented neck wraps, moisturizing lotions, heated massage pads and video screens mounted on the ceiling above dental chairs.

"People don't necessarily remember what you said or did, but they'll remember how you made them feel," Mohan said. "We're going for giving them an experience they'll remember so they won't go anywhere else."

Vines said he expects to spend $35,000 to $50,000 over the next year on Mohan's marketing strategies.

Okay. The economy has tanked, 10% of the population is unemployed, even more are underemployed. Companies are cutting benefits right and left and we all know that having dental insurance is pretty much a joke because , beyond a couple of x-rays and cleanings, the cost of any procedure is prohibitively expensive.

I have had a broken crown for 3 years. I finally had a job with benefits and opted for the dental so I could get it fixed. The difference in cost with $100.00 a month insurance and no insurance? I would "save" $435. on the crown, making my out of pocket cost $600.00 for the insurance and $985.00 for the crown. The crown, by the way that the same dentist supplied me about 7 years ago. I still have a broken crown and am cancelling the insurance in January.

My experience is that dentists are big on price fixing. Have you ever called around to see if you can get the services for less? Don't bother.

If my business was losing revenue, I might look at my pricing, my hours (our dentist was closed on Friday, closed for a week at Thanksgiving and 2 weeks at Christmas - making it impossible for my college kids to see her when they were home. We now have a new dentist) and better financing options for my patients. Hey, how about some evening or weekend hours so people don't have to skip work to have an appointment? How about offering some kind of discount to people without insurance who are paying cash?

Personally I would not be soothed by warm scented towels, I would be wondering how much the damned thing was costing me.

MY ATTEMPT AT REGAINING SOME STYLE

2011-11-28T18:39:00.001-08:00

I've always liked clothes. I learned to sew because It made it possible for me to have more clothes on my budget ( not something possible these days.) I kind of gave up on being fashionable when I got so overweight and underfunded.

For some reason I became interested in buying some boots and trying the skinny- pants-tucked-in-boots trend. I am concerned that skinny pants on my wide body may be a fashion don't - but I am going to give it a go.

I ordered a couple of tunic tops, some skinny black jeans and then set out to get boots. That's when the trouble started. I went to DSW with my coupon and none of the boots would zip up. I had forgotten about the large calf issue. Even when I was at my slimmest I had narrow feet, small ankles and shapely but muscular calfs. Now they are even larger.

I headed to the computer and shopped and shopped. No one had my size in a black boot in the style I want. I had ordered all those clothes with the boots in mind - I have to find boots! I expanded my search and discovered some different terms for what I need and found a few pair on the Zappos site. I couldn't tell for sure from the descriptions and review which pair was going to fit best so, due to their free shipping and returns policy, I ordered two pair. This was on the night before Thanksgiving.

On Friday morning FedEx delivered a huge box with the boots inside. Ally was home and helped me pick the right pair, I returned the others this morning and now I await the rest of the outfits. Hopefully I won't look silly, especially since the boots were quite a bit more money than I would normally spend! That Ally didn't recoil in horror when I tried them on with my stretchy slim leg jeans makes me think I must have looked okay.

I am being taken out for a birthday lunch later this week and I hope to fit in with my stylish sisters for the occasion.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-11-23T08:28:00.000-08:00

Too bad I am not joining my family for Thanksgiving dinner - my nieces would have loved this appetizer!

LATEST FAVORITE BOOK

2011-11-22T18:39:00.001-08:00

I just finished Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. The third book I bought on my Nook, at 352 pages I just flew through it. It is smart, funny and set in a period of time I have not seen many books cover - the year 1938.

The depression was winding down, WWII hadn't begun. Women had left their flapper personas behind and were making their way in the world, more independently than ever. Set in New York, the story is about a woman reflecting back on that year, a turning point in her life, the people she meets, the decisions she makes (and those that are made for her.)

It is a glamorous and gritty time about Manhattann long before Sex & the City - yet in a way, full of the same sort of stories.

WHAT KAISER WON'T TELL

2011-11-21T11:00:00.001-08:00

You know that saying about Social Security being the third rail of politics? Well, the untouchable rail for Kaiser - my HMO provider - is asking how much their services cost! I can get all kinds of advice on choosing a plan and comparing plans until I ask what the actual costs of the services and prescriptions is, then they want to transfer me to numbers that don't work and departments that don't exist.

In the past I have always had plans with no deductible. Now I am considering plans with a $1000. to $2700. deductible. I would think asking how much actual care one gets for that much money would be an obvious question. I am not asking for a guarantee of costs - just a ballpark. I'll need a mammogram, let's say 2 office visits per person and a few prescriptions between all of us on the plan.

I've been on the phone and internet most of the morning trying to dig up this information. Then I enlisted the benefits advisor for our company. It took her a while and she seemed very surprised at how hard it was to find someone to give this information, too, but someone was found who was willing to spill the beans.

So now I am crunching the numbers and hoping that, even with the big increases in the premiums for 2012, that I can reduce the cost of my benefits and take home a bit more money each month. I admit it just kills me to be concerned with out-of-pocket costs on top of paying over $1200.00 a month.

Anybody made the change to a high deductible plan and have advice to share?

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-11-18T12:28:00.001-08:00

1.) There was an awkward few minutes on The View the other day when the narcissistic Elisabeth went after guest Bill Maher for a joke he made 9 months ago which had her as the punch line. The joke was tasteless, as Maher often is, but it was ridiculous that the powers that be on the show allowed her rant.

Anyway, I bring this up because of all the things I have heard said about the whole Penn State mess, he had one of the most profound observations. He said that these things happen in male institutions. When there are women involved and influencing things, it's different. Think about it. The clergy, football and other male dominated sports, fraternities.

For one thing, women are not so susceptible to hero worship. And since women and children are frequently the victims of male wrongdoing, the presence and influence of women both makes us part of their consciousness and watchdogs over their darker urges. This is not male bashing, it is about the yin and yang of male and female balancing things.

2.) I believe my back has healed to the point of getting back to the gym. I am going to confer with one of the trainers I know to be knowledgeable about how to get started back into my fitness routine. When I am being honest with myself - I know that the major reason I ended up with back pain is my slacking off the gym. The couple of times a week attendance has led to my feeling jiggly and obviously is not enough to maintain my fitness. I don't need to wait for the new year to make the resolution to get back to the gym.

3.) I am picking up some extra hours this weekend in a attempt to make up for my tiny paycheck after exhausting my sick days. Just as well as the whole town is caught up in a pre-black Friday shopping craze. Tomorrow the stores on our main street are opening up at 7am and everyone is invited to shop in their pj's. That should be interesting!

In years past I have tried to get all my shopping done by Thanksgiving so I could avoid all the holiday crowds. Not going to happen this year. However the benefit of working evenings is that I can go out early and during the week. Not feeling as inspired as I have for holidays past, but I did come up with a good theme for our family ornaments - not going to reveal it yet because my kids read my blog!

4.) Hope that Have a gret weekend shopping, working or just hanging out.

A VERY FEW FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-11-11T12:46:00.001-08:00

1.) The steroid shot was a success. I am no longer in pain but still have a sense of tightness and pressure to keep me reminded to rest and be careful in my activity. One of the things I miss is spending hours on my computer! My desktop set-up requires more sitting than I ought to be doing! So I am behind on my blog reading, posting and shopping for holiday gifts!

2.) I did spend some time on the computer last night while it was quiet on my first night back at work and had to stifle my giggles over Tom & Lorenzo's take on the Victoria Secret Show. I love TLo and if you don't read them already, take some time to look at this post!

3.) It is cold and rainy in NorCal - the perfect weekend to continue to rest my back and slip in some online shopping. Have a good one!

WORLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-11-09T18:58:00.000-08:00

I would make this if I could knit.

DRUGS OR THE NEEDLE

2011-11-07T23:10:00.000-08:00

I chose the needle. The option to deal with the pain gone wild through my lower back, down and round my leg causing one or a number of simultaneous combinations of: numbness, tingling, pins and needles and shooting, searing pain.

For nearly 2 weeks I have been drugged with little or no effect. The muscle relaxer I was told to take only at night because it caused drowsiness did not cause drowsiness, nor did it relax my muscles. If my dose of Vicodin is what "Dr. House" takes I can understand why he pops them so frequently because it did nothing to dull my pain. The fact that I could get high dosage Advil for a 5 buck co-pay was a good buy, though.

I rested 5 days, went to work for 3 and was back to bed for 4 more days. The nest step was prednisone but the side-effects freaked me out and it would take days for it to knock down the pain. The other option was the epidural cortisone injection.

One shot, back to work the next day. Not healed - I will still have to be careful and rest and do my back exercises. If this whole drama doesn't get me back to the gym regularly, nothing ever will.

FUNNY THING ABOUT AGE

2011-11-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

I called my dad to wish him a happy birthday - he is 79 this year. After we shared some info about our aches and injuries, he said how weird it is to be staring at 80. I reflected that I feel pretty weird being a couple of years from 60.

He said "You're catching up to me!"

Isn't it so true that we eventually end up in closer in our life stages as we get older!

HALLOWEEN SCARES BABIES AWAY

2011-10-31T23:28:00.000-07:00

On a warm evening 24 years ago, after all the trick or treaters had gone home for the night, Tom and I decided to walk downtown to see how the adults were spending Halloween. We wound up in one of the local bars and amused ourselves people watching.

As I was nine months pregnant, I ended up with some tinny tasting grapefruit juice to drink. Tom had a glass or two of wine. Some people thought I was in costume as a pregnant woman - I was comically huge with our twins - Tom assured them it was all real and said he had forbidden me to have Halloween babies.

We walked back home and went to bed. An hour later, shortly after midnight, my water broke. I always thought it was pretty funny that I managed to wait until after Halloween to have my twins, but research at the Yale School of Public Health has shown that births dip a full 11.3% on October 31. Not only do women avoid planned c-sections and induced births, but "spontaneous" births, go down, too, suggesting that there is something to a woman's preference for a birth date involved in triggering the necessary hormones.

So Happy Birthday Maggie and Zac and thanks for waiting until November to be born. Your father would never have forgiven me.

DONATING TO LOCKS OF LOVE - AGAIN

2011-10-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have not cut my hair in over 2 years. It is so long that I am always putting it up to keep it our of the way. I consulted with Tom who thinks long silver hair is cool. He agreed that it wasn't working. So I made an appointment for the end of the month, vowing I would cancel it if I don't stay on my diet. I have alerted my stylist that I am cutting off enough for a Locks of Love contribution.

So I am looking at potential hair cuts for inspiration. I Googled hairstyle for women over 50 and this came up! I hope I can do better than that.

I think my hair is similar in texture and (stick straight fineness) to Diane Keaton.

I don't really want to go full out Miranda Priestly.

So then it dawned on me - "What Would Helen Mirren Do?"

It certainly looks like a basic bob haircut is the way to go - a classic cut which I have gone back to pretty much every time I cut my hair.

The most experimental cut I had (I didn't manage to get a photo for posterity) was something like this:

I don't think I'll go there again...

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

2011-10-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

Ally was home for an overnight visit this weekend. We had a nice visit - got the scoop on her life at college and had a long discussion about her major.

She is currently a Theater major, but she had been having doubts that she wanted to pursue drama. I guess her one theater class was all it took., she wants to change her major. However, like her mom and so many others - she doesn't know what she wants to study or do with her life.

We talked through our own decision making, the impossibility of knowing what skills might be in demand 5 years from now and the Holy Grail of "having a calling." We talked about ways to go about discovering different options and how to apply her interests to the possibilities. She is an ENTJ on the Meyers Briggs scale, she is smart, expressive and a little too concerned with her social life. When I asked her what she is the most interested in, she said "sleep." Okey-dokey.

So I am putting it to you - how did you or someone you know figure it out? What would you recommend to a confused college freshman? as a woman in my fifties who has never figured out what I want to be when I grow up - I feel a little help would be handy on this subject!

JUST A COUPLE OF EARTHQUAKES

2011-10-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

This morning I saw a news story about the Great California ShakeOut, our annual state earthquake preparedness exercise. It occurred to me that we don't have a preparedness kit like we used to.

This afternoon there was a 4.0 quake in Berkeley - about 30 miles from home. This evening while at work, there was another, slighter bigger one. I don't get too rattled by the quakes and I have no fear of "the big one" they have said all my life is going to happen. I think it is a common attitude, not the safest one, I guess. We don't have quakes with the regularity of blizzards, tornadoes, hurricanes and other weather related events, so we get a bit blase.

I reassured a couple of hotel guest that the building was built under strict California building codes and it is a very safe place. This quake did make me look around for the spot I would move to if there was a bigger, longer shake. My bit of preparedness.

THE COURAGE CAMPAIGN

2011-10-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

The banner which flew around the golf course throughout the game!

The Courage Campaign is a political organization which has been supporting the gay marriage legal process in California, among other things.

This morning I recieved this e-mail from them following adding my signature to a petition for the passage of the new jobs bill:

We wish you could have been with us this morning as 60 of us loudly greeted Speaker Boehner here in Newport Beach for his "golf with the 1%" event. Courage Campaign members and staff were joined by friends from the California Federation of Teachers (CFT), United Domestic Workers (AFSCME), the Orange County Central Labor Council, MoveOn.org, Occupy Irvine, IBEW, UNITE HERE and so many others on the street in front of one of the most exclusive resorts on the planet.

Your signature made all the difference. Know what Speaker Boehner did when we confronted him? He turned his back on you and went to play golf with the millionaire lobbyists from whom he takes orders.

This was one step. With your help, we'll never rest until all 19 California House Republicans and the Speaker vote on the President's jobs bill. Even John Boehner has to realize that the 99% deserve jobs and a chance at the American Dream, not the back of his head.

I love their creativity!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-10-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

1.) I love bananas when they are green and firm. I only buy a couple at a time so I can eat them before they ripen and get soft. Lately I have bought bananas that are green and when I peel them I find that they are soft/ripe. And I have noticed that they just stay green and don't turn yellow. Are they messing with bananas? Do I sound like Andy Rooney?

2.) At last it seems that President Obama is ready to stand up to the GOP and the media and tell some truth about "bi-partisan" crap. The Beltway media elite as well as the Tea Partiers an others have pushed the story line that if the president can’t get GOP cooperation, it’s somehow his fault.

In his press conference this week President Obama said:

I’m also dealing with a Republican Majority Leader who said that his number-one goal was to beat me — not put Americans back to work, not grow the economy, not help small businesses expand, but to defeat me. And he’s been saying that now for a couple of years. So, yes, I’ve got to go out and enlist the American people to see if maybe he’ll listen to them if he’s not listening to me.

I am sure that the 99% protests have finally given him a clue that the people are fed up and it is time to come to us instead of pandering to the Republicans!!

3.) Just a quick episode of my series: View From The Front Desk.

If your book club, knitting group or business colleagues decide to meet in a bar, like one in a hotel lobby, please keep in mind that you are taking up space and spending time in a place of business. A place where the bartender earns tips for his or her service. Walking up to the bar to order your drink does not relieve you of the social norm of tipping.

Sitting in a large, loud group for a couple of hours requires employees to deal with the noise and then clean up after you, so please don't complain loudly about how much we charge for coffee. You have already taken advantage of our complimentary popcorn, peanuts, cookies and candy jar! Not to mention our nice ambiance and WiFi.

NEVER SAY NEVER

2011-10-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

It is too soon to tell if this is true love. I know that I have loved books since I was old enough to climb the steps of the bookmobile and check out the maximum number of books each time. I have fantasies of floor to ceiling bookshelves full of books and other special objects. Ive been lugging boxes of books from home to home since I was in college and have many of them in storage waiting for those fantasy shelves.

I believe I have said the e-readers will never be for me. I may be wrong.

Tom bought me a Nook Color for our anniversary. I spent a few days checking it all out, reading the info about all the stuff I can do with it. I was also reading the new Alice Hoffman book, The Dovekeepers, which runs about 400 pages. I found myself squinting at the pages and having to put it aside when my eyes got tired.

So I went online and bought the download of the book. At $14.99 it was about what I pay for some paperbacks - and this was a new release. (In fact I was the first one to get it from the library!) I pumped up the font size and got to the place I had left off. I am so happy with it! So easy to read and I get tired of sitting before my eyes get tired. I am going through the book at a rapid pace (it's really great, by the way) and so now I am thinking about my wish list of books for future downloads.

I also ordered a couple of real, ink and paper books I know I will want to keep for when I get those shelves...

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-10-07T02:04:00.000-07:00

1.) I suspect that it has become National news that a patient died during a nurses strike here in California. What the media has a difficult time relating are the complete facts of the story (why is that?) The nurses at a number of Bay Area hospitals were bogged down in negotiations about issues related to staffing, scheduling and benefits. My sister works for one of the hospitals involved so she has the full, inside information.

Getting into the issues at hand is long and both sides have their points. The problem that happened was when the nurses announced a 1 day strike, the hospitals locked them out for 5 days. The patient didn't die on the one day - the patient died during the lock out. The patient died because the temporary worker had no experience working on an oncology ward and there were not enough supervising nurses who had worked on an oncology ward to recognise the problem she related with trying to hook up an additional medication was a serious one. She was told to use a different method to administer the medication which bypassed the safety measure in place to avoid that very possibility.

The patient died, the nurses' career is ruined, the hospital will be sued and rather than using this as an illustration of exactly what the nursing staff is trying to avoid in their negotiation with the hospital (the overuse of untrained floating staff which burdens the trained staff with having to do their own work and try to supervise those that don't know what they are doing in that specific area of patient care) the media is focused on the strike as the cause of the patient death. We need to demand better from our journalists.

2.) I really like this explaination of the Occupation of Wall Street going on.

3.) On the death of Steve Jobs: The reason Jobs comes out ahead of the Wall Street types, Mitchell explained, is because “the Occupy people aren’t calling for an overthrow of the capitalist system; they’re calling for the greedheads, the famewhores and the powermongers to be stripped of their outsized influence over our culture, our government and our economy. They’re calling on us to reshape our values. To have values. To care.” —BF on Truthdig.

Many of my Facebook friends who expressed profound grief over Jobs’ death also have been expressing support for the Occupy demonstrations. It’s really something to witness—the depth of emotion all these left-wingers feel for the head of a giant American corporation. Jobs was one of the most successful capitalists of our time, and yet he’s hailed as a hero by left and right alike. This is because his goal was simply to create products that were Insanely Great. In a world where few people—particularly in business—truly care about what they do, he truly cared. By thinking that way, he became Insanely Rich, and when he died, his company had an Insanely Large cash balance in the tens of billions of dollars. But few begrudged either Jobs or Apple for their wealth, because their priority wasn’t to get rich—it was to achieve Insane Greatness. Getting rich was a byproduct. That’s how capitalism should work. - Dan Mitchell in SF Weekly:

4.) And I thought this comment by GE CEO and chairman of President Obama's Council on Jobs and Competitiveness Jeff Immelt was very truthful.

Congress doing just one bipartisan thing would help build confidence by showing that the political process is not completely broken. Congress' inaction is restraining growth.

5.) This is our 27th anniversary! Once the anniversaries get up this high, there are no traditions except for every fifth year - so the contemporary gift for 27 years is "Sculpture." Don't think that's gong to happen here...though if I had run into a Beyonce, I may have been tempted.

Have a great weekend!

FAMINE IS THE F WORD

2011-10-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

Take a few minutes to watch ONE's new video "The F Word: Famine is the Real Obscenity" and sign the petition:

http://act.one.org/sign/hungry_no_more_us/?akid=2622.606463.x35hZj&rd=1&t=2

It will make a difference in putting pressure on world leaders to do more to help those in need right now, and live up to promises already made to invest in the things proven to work – early warning systems...irrigation...drought resistant seeds… and of course, peace and security.

A MOSAIC PROJECT

2011-10-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

I have had readers ask me about my process of making a mosaic project. So I finally manged to take pictures of a piece while I was making it.

I am always on the lookout for inexpensive ceramic and terracotta pots to mosaic. Plastic doesn't work because the glue and tiles don't adhere well enough to withstand expansion and contraction and the seal isn't tight enough to withstand moisture. This is my experience. Other, more educated mosaic people may have found a way...

for this project I used a ceramic pot I found on sale at the end of the summer season. I didn't need to seal it because it was glazed. For terracotta pots, I brush on a concrete sealer to help reduce moisture transmission through the clay. This is also a free form sort of design. If I am doing a pattern, I will draw it on the pot before I start to add tile.

I buy my tile from lots of places. The tile on this project was from a tile outlet that has since closed. I get it at hardware stores, online sites and sometimes pre-cut from e-Bay. For this whole tile, I am using my smack with a hammer technique!

I lay the tile on a piece of cloth, cover the top and smack it with my hammer. (Lay the tile face down and the hammer will not damage the finished front of the tile.)

I use a lot of my used jars to store tile and cleaned styrofoam meat trays to hold the tiles which I am working with them. As you can also see, I use old tee shirts, dish towels, sponges and all kinds of stuff from around the house. The one thing I didn't manage to get a picture of is my nipper tool. I use that to cut the pieces I am using down to the size or shape that I need.

The red pieces I used were a pre-cut purchase.

My favorite glue is Weldbond. I buy it online in the big jug and then refill the smaller bottles for ease of use.

Because you want a great seal between the tile and the thing you are applying it to, there needs to be adhesive on the pot and on the tile. Another thing to keep in mind as the tiles are added to the piece is the fit. It is fun to piece them together but you also need to make the pieces as flat to the surface as possible. I am not so great at this, as you'll see in the finished piece, my tiles tend to poke up and the surface is uneven. I am ok with it - but it really is not the ideal.

You also want to leave space between the tiles for the grout. Some mosaic makers leave lots of space and have wide grout lines, I tend to like the pieces to be closer together.

When the tile has covered the surface, let it stand for a day to dry. Then tape off the areas which you don't want to grout. I have taped off the bottom pf the pot, but I want to get a good seal around the edge where the tile meets the pot at the bottom and top to help prevent moisture from getting up underneath.

I use grout from the hardware store. It comes in white, beige, black, and gray. I also use an acrylic admix to wet the grout. it makes it stronger and more flexible that using plain water. The grout should have enough liquid to make it spreadable but not drippy.

Oh, and use gloves for this, the grout is really tough on your hands! Some people spread the grout using a tool, I am more hands on and scoop the grout onto the piece and then smoosh it down into the cracks.

After the entire surface is covered and all the cracks are filled in, the surface can be lightly wiped down. After about 10 minutes, use a wet sponge to wipe the surface again, but not so much that it pulls the wet grout out from the cracks.

I use a dish tub with several inches of water in it for this process. You should not wash the grout down the drain in your house because it will dry and clog things up! By using the dish tub of water, I can wash the gloves off, and used the sponge to wipe the pot down without using the sink. After the grout has settled to the bottom of the tub, I can pour off the water and then wipe out the solids of the grout which remain and toss that in the trash.

After several hours you can wipe the surface again, What you are doing is taking the grout off the surface of the tiles, but leaving the cracks completely filled. The next day the tape can be removed and all the surfaces wiped and smoothed. I use a spray bottle of vinegar water to help loosen up any grout from the surfaces of the tiles and a rough cloth and a popsicle stick to scrape tough spots.

The last step is to seal the grout. I use a spray on sealer from the hardware store. Let it sit for a day and then fill your pot!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-09-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

Book lovers necklace, found on Etsy.

CORPORATE EDUCATION NATION

2011-09-27T13:35:00.000-07:00

I have listened in and read some of the information being shared at the NBC Education Nation Summit. They say it is NBC News' "initiative to engage the country in a solutions-focused conversation about the state of education in America."

After reading an article on the "Corporate Education Reform Movement" I wondered who the sponsors were of the NBC program - with the exception of the University of Phoenix which has some questionable practices and claims, they were mostly foundations with varying approaches and programs to aid education.

I was happy to see that the companies who produce data driven standardized tests and technology for the classroom were not in evidence - at least openly. Why? Here is a quote from Tom Watkins, one of the major "consultants" to those businesses:

Let's hope the fiscal crisis doesn't get better too soon It'll slow down reform.

And why would that be? Well, under the stress of budget cuts and the duress of more threatened, schools are turning to the products of these "Education Reform Corporations" in an attempt to make the changes demanded by the feds, the states and the politicians. The schools can say "Look, we invested in all these tests and all these technology programs - see? We reforming."

However, in their panic, they are ignoring the fact that the kids using the technology and taking the tests are not doing better. There is no proof that the billions of dollars are improving basic learning. But they sure are improving the bottom line of the companies which produce them.

So why is this the continued focus of political education reformers? Follow the money.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-09-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

1.) Kirsty Alley is the latest celeb who can't win with those tabloids. She was ridiculed and shamed when she gained weight. Then she lost some on Jenny Craig but gained it back and they crowed over each pound - like they actually know her weight at any given moment. She got serious enough about learning what worked for her that she started her own line of organic weight loss items and she has shed, she says, 100 pounds.

She had a triumphant opportunity to walk the runway in a recent show for a designer showing off her new slimmer form. And what do the tabloids now run as their headlines? If you think there were compliments - forget it. They are claiming she is bulimic and/or has gastric by-pass surgery. She is shamed if she is fat and now they are trying to sham her when she slims down. What a bunch of creeps - and so are the people who buy those rags.

2.) Join the campaign Mrs. G has mounted on Facebook to support Ben & Jerry's and their Schweddy Balls ice cream!!

3.) So who is making up the guest lists for the audiences at the Republican debates? They booed a gay soldier last night, following their cheers for the number of inmates executed in Texas and the idea of letting uninsured people die without medical care.

At least when Carl Rove was picking the audiences for Bush, they kept out the rowdy rednecks.

4.) I am no fan of Rick Perry and the fact that he has taken thousands of campaign dollars from the manufacturer of the HPV vaccine makes him rightly vulnerable to attack for self-dealing. However, I support the use of the HPV vaccine wholeheartedly.

A young woman I know contracted HPV and then cervical cancer when she was only 23. Her former finance cheated on her and the result is that it's unlikely she will be able to carry a pregnancy. There is no excuse for these tragic outcomes when there is a vaccine to save the next generation from this virus.

My daughters have been vaccinated and now I am urging my son to be vaccinated, too. (At the time the girls were vaccinated they were not allowing it for boys.) The physician I spoke with said that it is very important for young men to be vaccinated so they do not become carriers of the virus, plus there are other types of cancer which may be connected to the virus though more research must be done. she also said that the vaccine works against other, similar viruses.

This seems like a no brainer to me. It is silly to think giving them this vaccine when they are teens or pre-teens will somehow open the floodgates to early sexual activity. They will become sexually active at some point in their lives and we should do our part to protect their health and the health of their partners.

I STILL MISS MY TOVA

2011-09-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

A while back I posted about my search for a new fragrance, which is yet to be found. I wore a perfume called TOVA for 10 years and loved it. That phrase from Jerry Maguire "you complete me." That was me and TOVA.
Then QVC purchased the TOVA company and they reformulated the perfume. Some say to make it more cheaply, some say the ingredients are no longer available. All I know is that I have not heard a great outcry that other perfumes were changed - just TOVA, so the ingredients not available thing sounds like an excuse from QVC.

For a while I found a reputable seller on eBay who had acquired some of the original perfume and I paid double the price in order to have it - a squeeze on my budget at $80.00! That seller ran out and I was not in a position to pay the ever inflating prices for more of the few remaining bottles, so I have gone perfumeless.

Just on a whim I checked on eBay to see if there was any more available, I found half used bottles sellers claim to have found in the back of the closet selling for $76.00 and $100.00. The 3 new bottles that were up for auction were selling between $250. and $300.00!

It strikes me that QVC could go back to the original, quality formula and still make a boatload of money because there are so many of us out here at significant levels of desperation to get our favorite scent again.

Of course, since QVC claims they have not changed the formula at all, ever, in any way they might have to come up with some kind of new name for it. But those of us who love the fragrance will accept a TOVA by any other name.

TEE VEE TIME

2011-09-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

We have been debating about our cable TV bill, well, really, about our cable TV in general. Because I work nights I don't see much TV during the week. I DVR the shows I especially like and usually watch them after I get home until I am sleepy and go to bed.

I don't watch all that much TV during the day - though I admit I watched the better part of an old favorite (An Unmarried Woman) this afternoon before I went to work. I sometimes like having the TV on when I am alone in the house and doing things in the kitchen. I can turn the sound up really loud and hear it through the noise of housework.

What Tom really wants is to watch less TV. He feels he is watching too much. He is unsatisfied with the offerings, but he watches anyway. When he broached the idea of reducing the channels, I thought "Not Showtime!" That means Weeds, The Big C and Dexter. Back to having to wait nearly a year for the seasons to come out on DVD! He claims we can watch them on the computer sooner, but I have never had any luck with that.

When we looked at the channel line-up packages, we both agreed we couldn't go without Bravo, Lifetime and AMC. That means Top Chef, Project Runway, Mad Men and Breaking Bad. So that takes us up a tier and the cost is amazingly close to the cost we are paying now for all the channels. That's how we ended up here. Those cable people really know which channels we actually watch - they say we get 600 channels, but we only watch about 10 of them - they know what they are doing and toss them in the more expensive package and then sweeten the deal with super cheap HBO, STARZ and Encore.

Oh no, if we drop HBO I'll miss Boardwalk Empire. Damn.

I am making the call tomorrow. I may just have to drop it all down to basic and see how painful it is.

Maybe basic plus Showtime...

WE DON'T HATE SEX, WE JUST HATE YOUR STUPID MOVIES

2011-09-07T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hello? Women over 25 loved an entire series about sex.

I was reading a Forbes article titled Women Over 25 Don't Like Sex. That premise is based on the following exchange regarding a new movie called "What's Your Number?"

In the New Yorker piece, Faris and the film’s director, Mark Mylod, watch a scene from the film. In it, Faris’s character declares that she’s a “whore,” and wants someone who will “appreciate that” about her. During a test screening, the audience laughed at the line, but the director remained wary. “Younger women lap up the nudity and sexual humor,” he was quoted as saying. “Women over 25—some are worried by it.”

What most men and Hollywood don't get about women beyond college age is this: we do not find humor in being called derogatory names. We do not think being called, or having your characters call themselves, whore or slut or whatever "funny" thing your writers come up with laughable.

Unlike some of your younger, less experienced audience, we know something about discrimination and don't appreciate the efforts to keep us "in our place" by making our sexual selves the butt of the joke. And since when do you figure we don't enjoy nudity? Oh, maybe because it's pretty much only there to gratify the men in the audience...

Don't write off women over 25 as being over sex - what we are over is male oriented, juvenile and I'll use the m word, misogynistic "entertainment."

HAPPY LABOR DAY

2011-09-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

End of Summer Cake

WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?

2011-09-01T05:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently someone at JC Penny thought this was a "Fun Tee" for 7-16 year old girls!

They apparently got a lot of flak for it and have removed it from their catalog.

However this one is still there:

Do they not have women who work for Penny's? Or men who have daughters? Or someone who might, in 2011, for heaven's sake , see that this is a sexist and negative message to send? Or is everyone out there in retail land out to make sure yet another generation of women grow up thinking their most important attribute is their looks and that intelligence and success is for men.

And all these tee shirts which have been pulled from the website? Where do you suppose they are going to end up? I suspect that they will be sold in a Third World Country where the women don't have anyone looking out for their best interests.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - PHOTOSHOP EDITION

2011-08-31T09:33:00.000-07:00

FRIG?

Found at 22 Words

FALLING FOR FASHION

2011-08-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

Went over to visit Schadenfruede Warehouse after noticing a number of interesting comments she made on Derfwad Manor (which really illustrates my need to make a resolution to wait until after I go to the gym to go online - it is now 11 a.m. and I put my gym clothes on at about 7:30...)

Anyhoo, Eunice over there posted this:

The question - is this is fashion? And, really, this is supposed to be cool? My fashonista daughter might sleep in it, but wear it out? I don't think so. I went to the Target site and found the top and pants - they total up to $39.00. Those boots don't appear to be sold at Target unless they are men's work boots. So it is, at least, an affordable "look."

Unlike this found in Teen Magazine:

This outfit runs about $4000.00, including the shoes, bag and $108.00 gloves! I don't run with the crowd that can buy this back to school outfit.

I used to buy the fashion magazines and try to punch up my wardrobe with new things, so just for fun I checked out what are meant to be the Fall trends - few of them will work for me. The colors are mustard, rust and jade. The shapes include chunky sweaters with gauzy or long skirts and peplums on jackets. The prints are camouflage, polka dots and big plaids. Bright colored pants, choker necklaces and "slit up to there" skirts for evening.

Ally took my plaid scarf to college, but I do have a couple of polka dot blouses. My body temperature never recovered from menopause - so no sweaters for me and my neck is too chubby for chokers. Well, maybe the Spring fashion will be more my thing.

Following the trends?

AN EMPTIED NEST

2011-08-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

In between cleaning out her bedroom and bathroom - monumental tasks each, I have been texting and talking with Ally from her new digs at school. She has had some difficulties, lonely hours and now that classes started, hopefully some calming routines will settle in.

I have been enjoying the clean. When I leave for work with a neat kitchen, I come home to a neat kitchen. Which is not to say that my husband has suddenly started doing dishes - lol - but his plate or bowl left on the counter is nothing in comparison with the scattered cups, spoons, unwashed cutting board and other detritus Ally left in her wake.

I have not done laundry yet because I don't have enough to make a load - never a problem with a teen aged girl around.

The cash in my wallet stays in my wallet!

The thing that doesn't change? That mom radar. There is a part of my brain that is constantly sending out waves in search of my kids. I have this undercurrent of awareness of where they are and what they might be doing at all times. It is hard to express but I suspect most moms can relate. No matter how far from home they are, there is a part of me seeking them out.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-08-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

1.) I just realized I passed my 400th post this week. Wow. I'd say I never knew I had so much to say but that would be a lie!

2.) Ally's recovery from the tonsillectomy was as dramatic as I expected. She was on the verge of dehydration for several days, had trouble with the pain medication and was miserable as hell. She perked up a day before the move to school. This made packing a nightmare, but so far it appears we got the stuff she needed moved into the dorm. Her roommate seems to be a very low keyed, vegan, fellow drama major. Here's hoping for a good match.

3.) I closed the doors to Ally's room and bathroom so I don't have to see the mess. It will have to be tackled. We have always teased her about being one step away from a hoarder - and now I get to deal with the stuff left behind... We don't have any immediate plans for taking over her room for another purpose, but I think I may take over her bathroom so I can get ready for bed after work with a light on and without worrying that I might wake Tom.

4.) We had hoped that we would be moving from this little rental in the Fall, but the economic downturn has so hurt Tom's practice that we are signing another year lease. I know this is very discouraging for him - the corporations know they have the upper hand with the government agency staff reductions and the long waits for court dates. They have the money to drag things out and don't enter settlement discussions like they used to because they figure most employees (and their legal counsel) will run out of money or patience and give up. Tom has clients he is still working for 2 and 3 years since they last paid him anything.

It is really sad that good people are getting screwed by both the former employer and the system. The corporations are getting tax cuts and the subsequent staffing reductions usually effect the everyday citizens who need the protection of the government agencies.

5.) If you enjoyed Laura Hillenbrand's book "Seabiscuit" - you will once again find the writing of her new book "Unbroken" as fantastic. I am riveted just 70 pages in! I won't have any trouble finishing this one in the 2 weeks allotted by the library.

6.) This is my last weekend on the job. As of next week I am a Monday-Friday worker once again. So enjoy the weekend and I'll join you next week!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-08-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

Moving into the dorm today!

MORE JOB CONUMDRUMS

2011-08-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure that I related here that when the long awaited benefits package kicked in it eviscerated my paycheck. It was such a shock to see what little remained that I actually felt dizzy when I saw the pay stub. I got depressed but Tom got mad and insisted that I start looking for a better paying job.

Having just spent over a year to get this job with benefits - I was not thrilled with that challenge. For those who may not follow the travails of job hunting, there are many. A new trend is to only hire those who are already employed. The thinking is that those who are unemployed, especially for any length of time, are defective and not the "top performers" companies want to add to their staff. This approach also leaves more older workers hung out to dry as many companies laid-off the older, experienced, higher paid workers - not just under performers...

The businesses less picky about the employment status of those they hire make up the 76% of the new jobs generated in 2010. Those jobs are of the low-paying variety, offering between $9 to $15 an hour. Some people can get by quite handily on $9 or so an hour -- especially if they're willing to live outdoors or on a friend's couch according to Barbara Ehrenreich in an article on CNN.

I can live in a nice little rental house (because of my husband's income) but when it comes to expenses beyond gas, groceries and utilities - there just isn't anything left. So my employment is not contributing to the growth of our economy and neither will the other 76% of "new job" holders.

But I digress...

I did start applying for new jobs and it fairly quick order I got a call for an interview. The job was for "Receptionist/Staffing Trainee/Business Development for a staffing agency. The multiple interviews went well, they wanted to hire me as a temp to see if I would be a good fit for the job on a permanent basis. They offered no benefits and $13.00 per hour. I was seriously thinking about taking it because of the improved opportunity for wage increases and now that I had benefits, I could use the COBRA coverage going forward.

I ended up telling them at the hotel about this new possibility - in part because someone gave notice and in part to see if they might improve my position to retain me. Ultimately they did and I am staying put. The other position seemed too iffy, even though I am sure I would have been able to handle the work, after being let go from the vet job I was worried that there might be one of those "fit" issues and there I'd be without any job.

I had a real heart to heart talk with the General Manager of the hotel and while she agreed that they don't pay a "living wage." The people who own the hotel have refused to increase wages (for over 3 years) or to cover more of the insurance costs. She said they don't like having employees. So, they have a lovely hotel full of really hard working and loyal employees but because they would rather not have to deal with employees - these very wealthy people just refuse to acknowledge how much they contribute to their financial success.

I am lucky to have a job with hours that gives me free time during the day. I am happy that they wanted to retain me and made the effort to increase my salary. I work hard and thoughtfully and will until I move on to another job - one, I hope, that pays me what I am worth.

I HEART WARREN BUFFETT

2011-08-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Buffett, who is estimated to be worth more than $47 billion, called on Congress to commit to "shared sacrifice" and raise taxes on people earning more than $1 million. Buffett said the rich are "coddled" by Congress "as if we were spotted owls or some other endangered species."

The billionaire said he paid about $7 million in payroll and income taxes last year. That is about 17.4 percent of his taxable income, a lower proportion than any of the other 20 people in his office whose tax burdens range from 33 percent to 41 percent, he said.

"My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress. It's time for our government to get serious about shared sacrifice," Buffett wrote.

Read more of his comments here.

COUNTDOWN TO THE EMPTY NEST

2011-08-11T01:06:00.000-07:00

It is August 10th. In one week I will be moving Ally into her dorm room and driving home to an "empty nest." I have no illusions that it is permanently empty. Summers will come, circumstances may cause one of the kids to move home again. However, it will be the first time Tom and I are living alone since 1987. Wow.

I don't think I'll feel that sense of loss that some women report. When I took the older two to college I felt great excitement tempered by some anxiety over their safety and happiness. I learned that the first semester is the time to remain positive and supportive and to hear their worries with the knowledge that they will ease in further in the next months. I feel secure about that part of the equation.

I also know that immense stress and conflict entered my marriage along with the joys of parenthood. Even with date nights and vacations away from the kids, the marriage ends up being far and away about the care, feeding, clothing, social lives, injuries, school activities, dating, grades, happiness, surliness, sports, illnesses, tattoos, fiances, driving, curfews, attitudes, teeth, weight, skin, hair, messiness, computer time, sexuality, coming and going of the kids.

Those topics will still be on the table, and new ones will arise, but they will never again be such a looming presence - once none of them are present day to day.

A small study by the American Psychological Association showed that a majority of parents scored higher on marital satisfaction after children had left home.
Researchers had hypothesized that the improvement in marital happiness came from couples’ spending more time together, but the women in the study reported spending just as much time with their partners whether the children were living at home or had moved out, but the quality of that time was better.

“There are fewer interruptions and less stress when kids are out of the house,” said Dr. Gorchoff. “It wasn’t that they spent more time with each other after the children moved out. It’s the quality of time they spent with each other that improved.”

I am sure that is true. Without the daily care and negotiations it will be easier to enjoy the time together. Just as a night out once the kids could take care of themselves was much more enjoyable than those when the babysitter was always on my mind.

We are still years away from being relieved of the financial responsibility of our children, but a week from now, I will be alone with my husband, again.

SLUT SHAMING

2011-08-10T06:09:00.000-07:00

My son attended a wedding last week. When he arrived a young man gave him and his male friends each a key and told them to hold on to it, that it would be used later in the wedding. Zac and his friend, the groom, have not been close for the past few years, in part because the fiance and her family are very religious. His friend changed when he started attending her church and was converted to their particular Christian sect.

He attended the wedding out of respect and to see other old friends. He actually had a good time and was glad he went - except for a few things, one of them I will share.

During the speeches, a member of the bride's family got up and said that the groom had not been her first boyfriend, but now that she managed to get married he thinks all the guys who have keys to her apartment should come up and hand them over. And apparently, they all did. They got up and dropped the key they had been given into a jar placed in front of the bride at the family table.

Zac was dumbfounded at what he called the "slut shaming" aspect of this "joke." I won't go into any of the other antics at this wedding because that is not really the point of this post.

I was taken by his term "slut shaming" and did a bit of research to see how this term is used. I know that it was, in part the theme of a great movie called Easy A starring my favorite young actress, Emma Stone, but what else is being said out there about this subject?

One very insightful blog called Dating While Feminist had this to say:

Slut-shaming, also known as slut-bashing, is the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings. Furthermore, it’s “about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior.” It is damaging not only to the girls and women targeted, but to women in general an society as a whole. It should be noted that slut-shaming can occur even if the term “slut” itself is not used.

Policing women via what’s considered “normal” and “acceptable” boundaries for female sexuality is not limited to sex and sexual activity. For instance, women who wear “provocative clothing” (or just photographed while having breasts) are subjected to slut-shaming. As are women who are sexually aggressive and/or unabashedly lay claim to their own sexuality.

And when I look around me - there is so much of this going on. I have mentioned the men who come into our bar always making remarks on the "cougars" going to the nightclub next door. How dare those women dress up and go out looking to meet men - after all, they are not in their 20's any more which is pretty much the last time most men think women should be sexual. Especially if they are mothers - moms are not supposed to be sexual.

And while I am not one to ever think a woman is "asking for it" I admit that I am much more comfortable with my daughters dressing more conservatively - leaving more to the imagination, as I have said to them. I have been uncomfortable in the presence of women dressed differently than I would. I have considered their clothing "provocative" which is a certainly a judgement based on sexuality. And really, so what? If that is how she chooses to present herself, to celebrate her body why should she be judged for that?

In a Canadian court, a judge let a man off who raped a 25 year old woman because the victim and her rapist met "outside a bar under inviting circumstances." The judge pointed out the victim and her friend were dressed in tube tops, no bras, and high heels and noted they were wearing plenty of makeup. The judge called the man a "clumsy Don Juan" who may have misunderstood what the victim wanted. (I am sure her struggles and crying out "no" while being raped off on the bushes was hard to decipher what with those high heels and all.)

The proliferation of gossip shows, fashion critiques, reality shows which pit women against women or set up competitions based on sex appeal have all contributed to a culture which is quick to judge others and very quick to persecute for sexuality. This does not only apply to women. Just think of what was done to Anthony Weiner and Bill Clinton. They certainly didn't get off with an old fashioned "boys will be boys."

That these "good Christian" folks thought it was humorous and appropriate to suggest that the bride was a slut at her wedding goes so far beyond the boundaries of good taste it sounds like something thought up by writers of tacky bromance movies. Too bad in this case that the men attending the wedding didn't refuse to participate once they knew what the mysterious key was for. Perhaps if they, no, if we all, could stop and think of how we would feel if these things are being directed to the women in our lives, we could all put a halt to this shameful practice.

MOMS PACKING KILLER LUNCHES!

2011-08-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Just in time for back to school shopping, another study has been published to make mothers crazy.

Nine out of 10 school lunches sent from home reach potentially unsafe temperatures by the time kids eat them — even if an ice-pack was included.

Ninety percent of the 705-preschooler sack lunches tested by University of Texas scientists had risen to temperatures considered too high to prevent the growth of bacteria, the researchers reported Monday in the journal Pediatrics. Unsafe, as the researchers defined it, was anything that sat for more than two hours between 39 and 140 degrees Fahrenheit. But that doesn't mean kids are actually getting sick.

So - the lunches, even with an ice pack, even with multiple ice packs, are rising to levels where bacteria could grow. “This is a provocative study,” said Dr. Michael Green, a pediatrician with the division of infectious diseases at the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh and a professor of pediatrics and surgery at the School of Medicine at the University of Pittsburgh. “Their findings certainly raise concern. But there is a missing piece: it doesn’t tell you what this does to the relative risk of disease.”

Ya think? How many generations of us have survived sack lunches?

And of course one of the answers to this "problem" is to buy shelf-stable foods - expensive, preservative filled and not eco-friendly. Or to buy school lunches, which we all know are nutritionally problematic in most places.

As usual, common sense has to be the rule. Most food born illness is from improper handling or it has been exposed to bacteria at the growing or packing site. If we are safe at home, washing produce and packing lunches with some care, our kids are not going to get sick from them.

And don't forget to pack the little love notes.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-08-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

1.) Had a review and got a nice raise at the hotel. Very helpful at this time -well, any time. That plus switching to Monday through Friday is going to be very nice.

2.) Got our check-in time for Ally's tonsillectomy - I'll manage about 4 hours of sleep before we have to leave to drive there, but I will have 6-8 hours to chill until we head home. Hopefully I can find a spot to snooze a bit. (I promised her I would not leave the hospital.)

UPDATE: Everything went well - Ally is recovering at home with Mango Sorbet, Jello and Vitamin Water.
3.) I have been reading about the big stock market fall trying to understand why it happened after the agreement on the debt ceiling and assorted fiascoes. One pundit said it had to do with investors suddenly looking at the problems in foreign markets, most said we were just due. I have to admit that as someone who has no money to invest and no 401k taking a beating, I feel lucky to be broke! I also read that interest rates will fall because of this - which is good for people in debt, who want to borrow money or get a better mortgage. So, good news for a change!

4.) Jen wrote a fun post about mascara yesterday, discussing products and technique. Like her I don't leave the house without mascara. But the extent of my completely made-up face includes not much else - eyebrow pencil, blush and sometimes some eye shadow. Most of the eye shadows are from giveaways.

I just read a British study claiming 57% of women would rather "leave their man" than give up make-up! That's hard core make-up love (or is it insecurity?) The study claims that the average woman has over $800.00 worth of make-up at home and another $100.00 in her purse. I have a couple of Burt's Bees lip glosses in my purse...

5.) I am enjoying this summer with my TIVO. I have So You Think You Can Dance winding down, but Project Runway just getting started. Breaking Bad is back and so are Weeds and The Big C. Just enough shows to watch here and there.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-07-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

1.) As our country heads closer and closer to financial disaster, more facts and economic realities which the Republican party will ignore are being reported.

Northern Trust's Paul Kasriel:

"I keep hearing that what is holding U.S. businesses back from expanding and hiring is "uncertainty." Exactly what new types of uncertainty businesses face in the current environment vs. past environments is rarely spelled out. But if, in fact, businesses are paralyzed due to uncertainty, I would not expect them to be stepping up their purchases of capital equipment. After all, capital equipment has a relatively long life. If businesses were unusually uncertain about the long-term outlook, they would be more reluctant to make longer-term commitments, which the purchase of capital equipment is. Rather, if businesses were unusually uncertain about the future, they might be more inclined to hire workers, who, after all, can be dismissed on short notice if conditions were to change suddenly.

But just the opposite seems to be happening. Business hiring remains weak and business capital spending is robust.... I would think that if abnormally-high business uncertainty prevailed today, there would have been considerably slower growth in price-adjusted purchases of nondefense capital goods than what has occurred."

But like science - the Republican point of view does not accept proven economic facts. And the Democrats are too worried about their jobs to actually fight for them either.

2.) I have mentioned that my sister and I staged a cute little house in Oakland in May, The man who hired us had 2 interested parties in the first week! After months of trying, no one interested in buying the house ($205,000.) has been able to get a loan.

Isn't it fabulous that we bailed out the banks and kept them in business?

3.) We managed to get a date for Ally to have her tonsils out - a cancellation opened right at the deadline for her to heal before she leaves for school. Meant to be?

4. I may soon have an opportunity to move to working my 3-11 shift Monday through Friday. I have been feeling sorry for myself becaue I am missing so many cool events this summer with my weekends spent at work - so that was good news.

5.) Ally and her boyfriend have been dating for a year. They just purchased "promise rings" for each other. This is not a practice I am especially in favor of as they are so young, she is leaving for school and it just seems odd to be "pre-engaged" at this time. Her ring is very dainty and pretty, but worn on the left ring finger.

Any opinions?

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-07-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

My mom sent me this photo of an Ice Cream Truck in Palm Desert.

By Australian sculptor Orest Keywan.

MOSTLY WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-07-20T09:50:00.001-07:00

My new favorite place to shop!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-07-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

1.) Between the time Ally was accepted to SFSU and the time we pay her first tuition payment next month, the tuition has gone up 22%.

2.) Zac will be coming home this weekend to attend a wedding - the first of their high school crowd to tie the knot. His old friend will be staying at the hotel for their honeymoon night, so I will get to see the newlyweds when they check-in.

3.) Ally and her friends have had their tickets for the midnight showing of the last Harry Potter movie for weeks. Did that stop them from going to the theater and waiting in line for 15 hours? No it did not.

4.) When we got our health insurance back, I changed doctors. The new doc asked me to do some blood work which I was putting off until this week. I was worried that it might be bad, so imagine my surprise to see that all the results were really positive. Next up - a mammogram.

5.) I know I say this every season it is on, but if you are not watching "So You Think You Can Dance" you are really missing out on a great show. I have it on TIVO since it airs when I work - and it is even better when you can skip through the commercials!

6.) I was at the checkout in the grocery store and saw this:

Note Christina Hendricks on the top right photo.

Now this is the photo I had seen elsewhere obviously taken the same day:

Pretty obvious that photoshopping has been done to make her look much bigger. It sure makes the point that you can't believe anything you see anymore. If they can subtract - then they can add. Whatever it takes to make their point.

Enjoy the weekend and hope the photographers are kind!

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

2011-07-14T14:28:00.000-07:00

Many years ago when I was still a ~~young~~ new mom I remember asking my mother how they had managed to raise us with such a strong sense of personal responsibility. She said she had no idea. That it wasn't something they had consciously done, yet 4 out of the 5 of us have that value at our core.

Ally and I were having lunch in one of those soup & salad places today and we were noticing how many people took the no charge blue glass meant for water only and were filling them up with sodas and other drinks. This brought about a discussion about values and she asked me the same question I asked my mom: How did you raise us to be this way?

For me there was a conscious effort, but it was such a constant discussion and modeling of behaviour that it, apparently sunk in without feeling hammered in! I know that "walking the talk" means doing as you say - but it also means speaking out and explaining why you are doing things, what the decisions are based on and when it is a bad decision (like my tendency to drive over the speed limit on the freeway) that I am willing to accept responsibility for paying for a ticket should I be pulled over. On the other hand, I never speed on residential streets because I so dislike it when others do so on the streets where we live. Speaking these things out loud, explaining my reasoning is something my kids have always been interested in hearing and sometimes, debating!

By the same token, when I have seen an action taken by others that I don't agree with, I might point it out and explain why or ask them what they think of it. Getting into discussions of values and judgement. Sometimes it was successful and sometimes it wasn't - but I still tried to engage in those discussions with some frequency and from the time they were very little.

I think it is important to do the right thing even when you could get away with doing the "wrong" thing - or as I always say to them "just because you can doesn't mean you should." Parents who teach their kids what they call "shortcuts" or ways to cheat or how to "get away with" getting a soda without paying for it are raising kids without a sense of right and wrong.

As it is kids are growing up in a world where Wall Street employees make millions based on their deceptions, there are "cheat codes" available for video games and their sports heroes are doping to get ahead. So the belief becomes "everyone does it, why not me?" Parents are the strongest antidote to societal ills.

Ally was surprised and angered to hear that businesses pass on the loss of legitimate income from shoplifting and other thefts (like unpaid sodas) by raising the prices on all their goods for everyone. We all pay for the cheaters. Both out of our pockets, with the damage to our society inflicted by the mistrust and loss of respect for our fellow citizens and, most importantly to me, with the damage increased cynicism etches on our souls.

ALMOST WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-07-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

JOGGING THE BLOGS

2011-07-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

It was verrry slow this weekend at work. I spent some time looking at some of the media sites I like to read online, but I had finished that and didn't feel like reading the book I brought. So I read a couple of blogs I wanted t catch up on and then I clicked that thing on the top of Blogger that says "Next Blog". Ever done that? It can be sort of interesting.

The first one that came up was written by a 26 year old man in England who is touting his RC lifestyle. I read through a few posts and find that RC stands for restricted calories. He listed his daily calorie intake at 1400 and is saving up to move to California to meet his online girlfriend who shares his interest on healthy eating. He seems to be very concerned with looking younger. When I was 26 I wasn't thinking about looking younger. As I recall I was thinking about whether having great sex was a good enough reason to keep seeing the guy I was going out with.

So I moved along past 3 blogs in a row that mentioned Jesus in the first few lines and found one by a woman who was very into scrap booking. I can't identify because I am about 76 years behind on my scrapbooks and none of them have pretty little cut outs and fancy paper.

The next one was all about MMORPG and how they could be improved. I had to look up what MMORPG was and the definition is: Massively multiplayer online role-playing game, a genre of computer role-playing games in which a very large number of players interact with one another within a virtual game world. The links have many boobalicious babes in leather or armor and muscle bound guys with clubs, swords, dragons and stuff like that. Okay. Moving on. Oh, no! The next 5 blogs are all about gaming and computers.

Sensing a some kind of trend I changed over to another blog I like with a political bent to see what followed it when I hit "Next Blog." It was nature photography in New Zealand! Next it was one about fostering greyhounds, then one written by a dog named Sunny all about living with her human mom. The next 5 were about dogs and goats and then suddenly we switched subjects to the America's Cup Race. The next 7 were about boats and sailing. Then suddenly...embroidery, quilting and fibre, whatever fibre is. There are a lot of really talented women out there, but I stopped clicking through after 10 of those.

After that I decided to read my book for a while. But not until I came up with a name for what I was doing. I wasn't surfing the net so much as I was jogging the blogs.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-07-08T23:23:00.000-07:00

1.) The last 3 watermelons I purchased have been pretty good - one of them was actually excellent. Over the years I have developed a method for picking watermelons which serves me pretty well - until it doesn't and I am stuck with 10 pounds of yuck. I was told by someone years ago to look for very dark lines and bubbles in any "stretch marks" or abrasions on the skin of the melon - it is supposed to be an indication of a higher sugar content.

My camera isn't good for close-ups - but you can kind of see the dark bubbles...

How do you pick your watermelon?

2.) I have been searching out new recipes for my semi-veggie new dietary approach. A couple of them require pumpkin. Tried to buy pumpkin in the summer? Even TJ's considers it seasonal! I finally found some in a locally owned store and commended them for carrying it. I also sent an e-mail to Raley's and Safeway to complain. The checkers said they know people look for it all the time, yet the corporate guys seem to think they know better!

3.) Even though the California state budget has been in tatters for years the legislature allowed the additional 1% sales tax we have been paying (making the sales tax 9.75% where I live) to lapse. The old chestnut is that people will buy more if the sales tax is lower. Ridiculous. We are all accustomed to paying it and I don't know anyone who doesn't buy something because they don't want to pay an additional 1% (except for a car.)

I can't wait until we all wake up and realize that those little percentages equal road and bridge repairs, breakfast for hungry kids, medical care, police and fire departments, teachers, grants for low income college students, state parks and so much more. What is worse is that polls showed residents of CA were fine with continuing the tax but the legislature let it go anyway...

4.) So far the critters who ate all my tomatoes right off the vines the last couple of summers have not found the 2 pots of them I have planted up on my deck! I might have home grown tomatoes to eat this year - if I didn't jinx myself by mentioning this.

5.) My "weekend" isn't until Monday - but you all enjoy the next couple of lovely summer days off!

ALMOST WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-07-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

My latest mosaic project. I made it for a co-worker who just had her house painted brown and cream. She told me she also likes teal and I happened to have just enough teal tile to go around the rim of this pot.

WHEN THE SYSTEM FAILS

2011-07-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Mrs. G posted a question on her Derfwad Manor blog last week asking if readers valued justice or mercy. I said I go back and forth, I aways have. One of the most frustrating things for me in law school was to learn how many cases are resolved based on rigid and out of date standards. How frequently lies are told and evidence is suppressed or made invalid. And worse, how frequently mercy (and common sense) was bypassed because the system is not about fairness but the "rule of law."

Today have seen the result of another aspect of our legal system. One where those of us observing the legal maneuverings of the Casey Anthony trial were shocked to hear that the verdict could possibly be anything but guilty. And yet she was found not guilty on all counts relating to the death of her child.

I can understand that the standard may not have been met to find for pre-meditated murder. I do not see how the jury could find reasonable doubt that she was involved in the mistreatment or neglect of her daughter leading to her death (manslaughter.)

The standard is reasonable doubt - not no doubt. I don't think this was a case of jury nullification as in the OJ Simpson case. I think that the defense threw out so many other scenarios, most of them outrageous and none with any factual foundation, that they somehow got caught up in the what ifs.

I suspect the mercy part is going to show up in the sentencing and she will be let go without any further jail time. So sad for all of us that the system, as good as it can be, failed us again.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-07-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

1.) My mom is a lefty. Because of this, I grew up a bit ambidextrous and mixed up. I ironed with the board backward for years, I sew awkwardly in the wrong direction and I have always had to stop and think a moment when coming up with right or left. It was a revelation to me when I learned righty tighty and lefty loosey just a few years ago. It cleared up so much confusion for me!

I've had my car with one of those electronic keys for about 5 years and only about a week ago did I realize that I don't have to look at the buttons on the key because righty locks it tight and lefty opens it loose! My light bulb moments are getting mundane - but at least I still have them occasionally.

2.) Thursday nights there is a big patio party with live music, multiple bars, fire pits, big screen TV and I don't know what all else at the restaurant next door to the hotel. It draws a huge crowd every week - valet parking is necessary for the overflow parking. The police are out in force at 10 when the music stops to pick off the drunks in their cars. We get a lot of very tipsy people trying to come into our place for the nice bathrooms and sometimes to keep drinking after the party shuts down.

Apparently the crowd at this event is on the older side. But I have to say - I am really tired of middle aged men coming into our bar complaining or joking loudly about "all the cougars" next door. I find the term offensive and every one of the guys is just as old or older than any of the women I have seen coming and going.

Why do men feel entitled to younger women. Why do they feel entitled to put down women of their age who are out there having a good time? She we just be locked away after 35? Am I taking this too personally?

3.) I took Ally to see the Head & Neck doc today. Her frequent sore throats, strep and mono have gotten to the point that she is insisting she wants her tonsils out. The doc agreed that her tonsils were huge and it could be beneficial to have them out.

I have no problem with doing it. I had tonsillitis repeatedly well into my 20's and never had mine out but would have liked to. I can understand her misery and she is sick a lot. The problem? Her dad. He is adamantly against any medical alterations to the body. He didn't even like letting her get her ears pierced.

So my question is - do I go against him in this? She will be 18 in a couple of months and can make the decision completely on her own - should we just wait? Any input on teens getting tonsils removed?

PEOPLE BEHAVING BADLY - SERVICE DOGS EDITION

2011-06-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

An interesting thing happened in the hotel this week. A couple checked in and then wheeled in a little dog in a stroller. When told that we do not accept pets, they claimed that the dog is a "service dog" and not a pet. I asked if they had informed us that they would be bringing a dog when they made the reservation and I was told in loud and self righteous terms that in America they do not have to tell us anything and we can't turn them away. He was a very large, very aggressive guy. I suspect his demeanor and his "this is America" rant get them into pretty much wherever they want to go.

My first reaction was to hop on the internet and learn about the rules around service dogs, then I googled around about abuses of the law. (This sort of this is something I love to dig into.) I am aware that there are service dogs for more disabilities than blindness. What I did not know is that the term service animal has become overworked to the point that people who are psychologically attached to their pets can find a doctor to say that the animal is necessary for their mental health and POOF! the pet is a service animal.

The Americans with Disabilities Act states that a service dog must be trained to perform a task or service that the disabled individual cannot. However, (1) there is no requirement in the law with regard to the training of the animals and (2) there is no requirement that the owner of the animal have papers or any other identification that the animal is actually a trained service animal. A business may inquire about 2 things: Are you disabled? Is that a service dog? Yes to both and that is the end of it. No more questions allowed, no proof required.

It is also illegal to ask what a person's disability is. So in this case, a woman who appeared to have no physical issues was wheeling a little dog around in a stroller, the dog did not appear to be performing any service for her. It just looked like an old dog, curled up and sleeping. They went in the bar, the breakfast area and apparently out to dinner in a local restaurant with the dog.

As a hotel which does not allow pets, this will require a deep cleaning of the room costing time and therefore money. But if a guest checks into that room and has allergies triggered, it would be a big problem for us. We cannot charge the "disabled" guest extra for the special cleaning (per the ADA) we can only charge extra for any damages to the room. (We charge extra for cleaning a room in which someone has smoked due to the extra cleaning required as we advertise as smoke free.) So for those who question the reason a business might not welcome an animal, that is one of the issues.

Another is that many guests are not comfortable having a dog in the dining room while they are eating, so we are left to explain the dog as a service animal not a pet. Why is that an issue? I think because the dog is not visibly performing in a service capacity. The owners have not attired the dog in a vest or with an identifying collar or tag.

In fact, some other postings I read by owners of what appear to be to be non-traditional service dogs were quite strident about the fact that they need not identify their dogs as service dogs or themselves as disabled persons. They felt that they owed no one any explanation for the presence of their dogs in stores, restaurants, theaters, hotels and other places where animals are not normally allowed. I don't understand this attitude. Being disabled is not equal to being somehow privileged and above being responsive to inquiries on behalf of businesses which must protect themselves and their customers.

Toni Eames of the International Association of Assistance Dog Partners (IAADP) says that comfort dogs, sometimes referred to as helping dogs, are not trained. “Comforting you and licking your face is not a trained task. Grounding a person is not a trained task,” she says. According to IAADP:

While a dog’s companionship may offer emotional support, comfort or a sense of security, this in and of itself does NOT qualify as a “trained task” under the ADA, thus it does not give a disabled person the legal right to take that dog out in public as a legitimate service dog. Setting up a realistic training plan to transform a suitable dog into an obedient, task trained service dog is the only way to legally qualify a dog to become a service dog whose disabled handler is legally permitted to take the dog into restaurants, grocery stores, hospitals, medical offices and other places of public accommodation.

No one wants to have their beloved pet put in the cargo hold of a plane, but the many owners who claim their show dog or lap dog is a service dog in order to have it ride in the cabin is illegal and unethical. An industry has also sprung up selling vests, harnesses and collars indicating a dog is a service animal. No proof is required to buy these items. They also provide certification papers for a fee - again, no proof necessary.

The flexibility designed to help the disabled also allows the law to be easily abused. These people are undermining legitimate service dogs.

"Each time an employee has an encounter with a fake service dog (and yes, they know when you're lying), this brings us tangibly closer to the implementation of laws, regulations, and policies that make it harder for me to live my life without being treated as a second-class citizen."

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-06-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

The Alameda County Fair!

WALK A MILE

2011-06-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

In line at the grocery store the other day I heard part of the conversation between the checker and the guy in front of me. He was a fit young man in his 30's and they were discussing his work as a trainer and that some of his clients were police and fire fighters. She, a trim 40 something woman, said her son works at the Marine Corp Recruitment Station with the recruits which don't meet the fitness guidelines. She said he had complained to her that some of them "couldn't run a mile without puking." They made noises of disgust ans she said "there is no excuse for that." He agreed and then left.

I wondered if she felt a bit uncomfortable to see me next in line - large and unfit as I am.. She certainly was not chatty as she usually is. I left without saying anything.

But this is what has been going through my head: Walk a mile in the shoes of those of us who do struggle with our weight, with overeating, with the things that may lead us to overeat. I am not one to attach addiction status to each overweight person - but I do attach a reason, physical, psychological, emotional or learned behavior.

Just last night I had eaten my dinner of whole wheat pasta with spinach and walnuts and some wonderful watermelon. I was full. I could feel the food in my stomach for some time after I ate, yet I wanted more to eat. It was quiet at work, I was bored. I finished the book I brought to read and I felt restless and I wanted to eat.

Hungry? No, I was full. Hungry for food? Yes, eating would occupy me, sooth me, . Did I eat? No, because I am learning to be more mindful about what my "hunger pangs" are about and find other things to divert myself, redirect the feelings. I will say that there have been times in my life when I had feelings akin to panic attacks which seemed to be resolved by eating something. Times I thought I would fall to pieces without eating something. Of course, in reality that wouldn't happen - but the feeling is real, too.

So that is what it is like in my shoes at times. Hard to fathom? I don't get smoking or drinking beer or being Catholic or enjoying boxing. I don't get the need to be mean, I don't know why people fear mice or bugs, why people can't eat meat or like rides at the fair that make them dizzy. We are all different in our tastes and reactions and beliefs and the things we need.

And the other thing - those young recruits? Those kids are probably away from home for the first time. Away from family and friends and the safety and comfort they inspire. They also, many of them, come from schools that didn't offer much in the way of physical education and come from neighborhoods which were not especially safe to run and play in. There were probably not many pools or tennis courts or baseball fields where they came from - not to mention organized leagues and coaches to teach them. So those recruits who are out of shape and maybe overeating? Perhaps some counseling or a little compassion would go a long way.

Okay - getting off my soapbox now.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-06-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

1.) Just read in the paper that one of the booming products in "this tough economy" is liquor. Said to be an inexpensive luxury item, say compared to a trip to Hawaii! A great rum drink is like "taking a trip to the tropics." Okay. I guess that's another way of saying we are trying to drown our sorrows...

2.) Ally has gone camping with her boyfriend and two other couples and we have not heard from her. I am sure it is because there is no cell service and she has never heard of a land line or pay phone on which she could call her mother to reassure her that she is safe and using sunscreen.

3.) Hurray! My benefits have kicked in and we have already been to the doctor for Ally 3 times and gotten caught up on our prescriptions.

Boo! My benefits cost 2/3 of my paycheck.

4.) Have you ever put yourself on the waiting list at the library for a bunch of new releases? I have been using the library as part of my new "groceries are more important than books to some people" austerity plan. Problem is that suddenly 3 of the books I waited for are all waiting for me at the same time. Yikes. Gotta read fast. I am 75 pages into the new Elizabeth Berg - it's a good one!

5.) I spent the day at SF State for Ally's orientation on Monday. I was very irritated that the program for the parents was, as one staffer put it, "keeping you busy so the kids and staff can get their part done." I am not a helicopter parent. If there was not going to be a role for me, why suggest that I should be there? The only thing that saved the day for me was that Ally got registered for her classes, she met a new friend and we had some time together.

Oh! We ran into a girl who had been Ally's BFF in elementary school and early middle school. After she moved away we made some long trips back and forth but eventually those stopped and the girls fell out of touch. But there she was sitting a table away at the orientation! They are going to the same school - out of all the schools in the country!

I don't know if their friendship will be rekindled, but it was an amazing coincidence.

6.) The Alameda County Fair opened this week and my sister and I are going for our annual visit to see the pig races and visit the animals, the gardens, and all the exhibits the kids don't even know are there because the Fair = carnival rides!

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

2011-06-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of people are worried about their privacy online. It isn't something I have given all that much thought to as I don't really do much social networking, but my husband is very proactive about checking our status "out there." He sent me a link to a site called Spokeo and said I needed to check it out and then attached the link to have my info deleted.

Of course, the trick with many of these sites is that you have to subscribe to see all the info available. But the "info" they had on me was partly correct and partly a laugh riot. One of the listings had me living with my son and mother-in-law, who has been deceased for 25 years. They listed me as the owner of our rented home. They did have the address and phone number correct, and that I am a Sagittarius and in my mid-50's.

The claim, if you pay, is that they can fill you in on my hobbies, religion, employment, politics, financial health, education and more. What is there, I don't know. I suspect if I have listed any of those things in the minimal profiles I have on Facebook, Linked-in, or even on Blogger; that information has been gathered into this report on me. They are also using mailing lists because we still receive mail for my dead MIL and since she lived and died in New York, I can't imagine how else they would have made a connection to us.

I checked out the reports on a couple of my friends. One woman, married for 28 years is listed as single and her religion as Catholic, which couldn't be further from reality. Another friend's listing has a very nice photo of her house with a lot of contact information, including the suggestion that her e-mail address is available if the fee is paid.

I did opt-out of sharing the information. I know it can be found elsewhere, but there was something a bit unnerving about seeing a picture of our house along with the information all in one place. And as Tom suggested, if a guest from the hotel decided to try to find me for some reason...

FATHER'S DAY

2011-06-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article on Slate about American spending habits around Mother's and Father's day. apparently we spend about $35.00 more on mom. The article suggested that the reason had to do with the high price tags of things like spa treatments and jewelry versus ties and gadgets for dad.

At my house I think this may be true. It is not because dad is less valued - it is because dad goes out and buys himself what he wants when he wants. It leaves few options for special occasion giving. When a special occasion is coming up, I store up ideas of things I would like and drop hints or even make a little list - like an Amazon wish list. This year, as in years past, I asked for a professional house cleaning - this year that was translated to carpet cleaning. Which is fine. The carpets needed to be cleaned. I just wished Merry Maids was also coming by to scrub the tubs!

When the kids start asking me what dad wants for Father's Day - I may or may not have managed to come up with some ideas. This year I was pretty blank. He is getting a gift card for his favorite coffee place because I can see that he is using his debt card to buy coffee there several times a week. Our son is taking him out for a long bike ride. I was coming up really dry for ideas - then it hit me. Our local favorite restaurant has a great house wine which is not sold anywhere locally (and costs a small fortune to have shipped) but they are willing to sell bottles from the restaurant as long as they are opened (some kind of limitation on their liquor license.)

Now, I send a lot of business to this restaurant in my position at the hotel and I know people have told them I have sent them. On my first visit I introduced myself as a hotel employee to the owner - but I never have since, plus I have never expected or received any special consideration.

That said, I do admit to a bit of calculation in my thinking when I went in to purchase some of the wine for Tom for his Father's Day gift when I stopped in, in uniform, on my way to work. At first they were not so sure about allowing me to purchase 6 bottles - but the chef came out of the kitchen, we chatted and then they decided to allow me to purchase them unopened. Shhh - don't tell!

So I managed to get something Tom could not get for himself! Some good karma!

Cheers to all the Fathers!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-06-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

1.) We have read the salacious details, heard the re-enactments, gawked at the photos and seen, as usual, that Gloria Allred found a way to get involved in the Wiener story. Oh the puns and double entendres - the writers have had a field day. Hurrah - another sex scandal so we can continue to avoid delving into the real, hard issues. The media outlets are not even making an effort to seem like they care about anything but frivolity and titillation. When Pelosi had her scheduled press conference on the day the congressman had announced he would resign, this is what happened per the Talking Points blog when she made her opening remark:

"As usual we're here to talk about jobs, about protecting Medicare and protecting the middle class. If you're here to ask a question about Congressman Weiner, I won't be answering any."

If you thought disappointed news networks decided then to make do with the other items on her agenda, you'd be wrong. All three of the major cable nets -- CNN, MSNBC, and Fox -- all cut away right then.

I continue to believe that the media is the biggest contributor to the stupidity of the country and the decay of our government.

2.) Since we are on the subject...crusaders against male circumcision (intactivists) want parents to choose not to circumcise their sons AND they want the government to prohibit circumcision including punishment for adults involved in circumcisions.

We did not circumcise our son shortly after birth because my husband is not circumcised and he preferred not to do it to our son. I went along with his wishes. However, our son had to be circumcised at age 10 because of urinary issues. He suffered from a problem a small percentage of uncircumcised males have and it had nothing to do with not being clean (which is what everyone always says is all it takes to maintain an uncut penis.)

So if we are going to say parents can't choose to have this procedure performed for medical or religious reasons - then, as raised in an opinion piece on CNN - we should ban the piercing of baby girl's ears. Ear piercing is painful and it carries MORE complications than circumcising.

And that is the problem with all this poking our noses in other people's business - if you don't like it, don't do it. Please feel free to let us know your opinion, but it is not your place to legislate based on your beliefs.

3.) One more highlight from our graduation celebration and then I promise I will stop. I managed to snap this reaction when Ally opened her gift.

We had completely fooled her into thinking she was not going to get what she asked for - an iTouch. She really wanted an iPhone which we said we couldn't do for her and the iTouch came up briefly as an alternative. She is aware of our finances and so I think she had given up on the idea that she would get a gift beyond the grad party.

So fun to surprise our kids, isn't it!

4.) On Monday Ally and I spend the day at San Francisco State for a new student orientation. We will learn more about the campus, the programs and meet with her advisor. She will register for her classes at the end of the session. This sounds like a very helpful program for new students entering into the complicated morass of college. I am looking forward to it - except that it starts at 8am and I work the night before...I'm not as young as I once was and leaving the house 6 hours after I get home will be tough!

Ally is nervous about the orientation, meeting people, looking right - but she is excited to purchase an official college sweatshirt and decals for our cars.

MORE GRADUATION CELEBRATION

2011-06-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

Okay - pretty soon I will get over all the celebrating. But I just have to share a few more photos 'cuz I'm just all about my family right now.

Ally and Zac following the ceremony.

Ally wth some of her graduation loot at our celebratory lunch.

Ally and Tom dancing at the party.

Ally having fun with her friends.

We put on a party with 4 other families - we had a DJ, a dance floor, lots of food, a fire with s'more makings, a HUGE cake and much more. The party was supposed to end at 1am but everyone was having so much fun we didn't get home until after 3!

The weather was still cool for graduation and the party, but a good time was had and now we get focused on getting Ally ready to move into the dorms in August.

GRADUATION DAY

2011-06-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

On Monday we were afraid it was going to be like this:

But today it is like this!

Class of 2011!

COULDN'T SAY IT BETTER

2011-06-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

There are may times I become inspired by the blog posts of other people. sometimes I think of my own take on an issue and write about it. Today I simply want to share this great post about medicare - click over and read it.
http://bettysnewtrick.blogspot.com/2011/06/mediscare-through-years.html

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-06-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

1.) Someone at work started calling this month Juneuary. Very apt. We are having very cold, rainy spring. In addition to feeling Spring-deprived, I am getting nervous about Ally's graduation next week - the ceremony is held outdoors and in the evening...When Maggie and Zac graduated 5 years ago it was one of the hottest June days on record. So maybe we will have the coldest one for Ally's graduation!

2.) Ally is shopping for a roommate on Facebook. SF State has a set up so the students can meet online and try to find themselves a good roommate match. I hope it is more successful than the matches that the dorms made in my day - there was no rhyme or reason to a sheltered suburban, liberal, lover of music like Traffic and Chicago ending up with a girl who was raised on a ranch, listened to country, swore like a sailor and took one look at me and called me a hippy. Turns out I was her second roomie - the first one was African-American and her family threw a fit. The original roommate I was paired with might have been a better match for me!

3.) Zac has settled into staff housing at the CSUMB campus. He is going to be the AmeriCorps* staff position in the Service Learning Institute. He will earn very little money this year, but will be awarded an education stipend at the end of his service. It is also a bonus for the grad school resume.

He always said he was interested in the Peace Corps but does not have the second language skills they tend to require. Plus now he is more interested in service and social justice studies and not so interested in teaching math.

By the way, I learned that people over 55 can join AmeriCorps and transfer the education stipend to their child or grandchild! Pretty cool for those who want to serve the country and help their family, too.

4.) I heard in passing that Brad and Angelina's kids are questioning their not being married. Then I read that the last census found that married couples are now in the minority in this country; down 4% - while couples living together have risen 13%. They have found that many couples are waiting to complete their educations, get settled in jobs and just generally wanting to be older and more mature before marriage. I think that is great.

My parents married while in college and they encouraged their children to wait to be married - my dad said 30 was a good age. Four out of 5 of us waited and we are all still married. The sister who married young has been married and divorced 3 times now! Just saying...

Then again, my parents have managed to stay together 58 years!

5.) Did you know that you can be ticketed for jaywalking if you enter a crosswalk with less than 5 seconds left on the countdown? I didn't. Six of out out of town hotel guests were ticketed today just trying to go out to lunch. Hope the revenue raised is worth the bad vibe sent out to the guests visiting out city.

*AmeriCorps is a program of the Corporation for National and Community Service, an independent federal agency whose mission is to improve lives, strengthen communities, and foster civic engagement through service and volunteering.

THE BEDSPREAD STORY

2011-05-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

In 1994 we moved our family from a house I loved by the water in California to Bellevue Washington. The house we bought was large and we had a view of Lake Washington in the distance. The house needed a lot of work. It was full of, I kid you not, pink and blue wallpaper featuring ducks, sheep, flowers, stripes and flowers with lacy stripes. Each and every room was pink or blue or both with the exception of the one room which was completely paneled in dark wood.

Over 3 years time I stripped the wallpaper, painted, re-carpeted, put up some more neutral wallpaper on walls which would have needed to be refinished otherwise, bought new furniture and accessories. I also ordered a custom bedspread for the master bedroom with coordinating window coverings. I found a fabric I loved and never could find a ready made spread that compared to it - so I went for the extravagant purchase. About a year later the employer who had lured us up to Washington with many promises of stock, bonuses and advancement decided to sell the company, making himself very rich and completely screwing us.

It went from an being an exciting time, building our nest and settling into a new lifestyle to being jobless in a dark, wet state far away from home and family. Lawyers were hired, the house put on the market and eventually we made our way back to California. I took the bedroom drapes with us.

On left the faded part, on right the original fabric.

In the new master bedroom, the bedspread went on the bed and I re-made the old curtains over to work with the new windows. And when we moved to another, smaller house I did it again. And when we sold our house and moved into a rental house, I made over the last remnants of the window treatments again to cover a valance above the bedroom window.

So here we are in 2011 and the bedspread is still on our bed. The once bright and vibrant fabric I fell in love with is now dull, the quilting stitches are coming undone, there are holes in the fabric. Each day when I make the bed I feel sad that it is no longer bright and pretty. Now and then I look at new bedspreads but I think "I shouldn't spend the money on that" or "I'll buy a new one when we get our own house again" or
"there are more important things than a bedspread."

But it always bothered me. I don't mind not having expensive things but I don't like living with shabby things.

I realized that this had become symbolic. My feelings about the bedspread reflected much more than just feelings about a bedspread. After all, each time we went through a change, a move, I had taken the remnants of that lovely room and made them over to fit a new room and making over myself to fit our new circumstances, too.

Maybe I needed to break free of this largely self-imposed stalemate. Time to do something that is important to me. Time to feel free to do something even if it is self indulgent because it will simply make me happy and give me an opportunity to finally let go of what once was. Time to stop worrying what my husband or anyone else might think of what I am spending on now that our circumstances are so changed.

So I started looking for new bedspreads again. I knew it had to be a certain kind of fabric - I don't like shiny and satiny. I like a nice woven cotton. And not too thick and puffy but not too thin like a coverlet. And the colors should be similar to the original spread because I don't want to have to replace the valance I had covered, too. And I could not spend more than about $100.

And after looking on and off for about 5 years - the first place I entered (a Tuesday Morning store!) I found the right thing. The fabric, the color, the price! It was a king and I needed a queen, but I bought it.

The new bed spread in the back of my car.

I took it upstairs and put it on the bed - too big, but it looked pretty good. So I found a store with a queen and set off to do an exchange. I got lost getting there. When I finally found the store, I could not find the receipt which I had carefully placed in my wallet. I really wanted the $40.00 price difference back in my checking account - but wound up with a store credit. I got even more lost on the way home.

Please believe me when I say I do not get lost. I have a great sense of direction and this was a huge aberration. I was feeling such remorse about the purchase, the "loss" of the $40, the apparent karmic overtones of getting lost. By the time I got home I just went inside and left the bedspread in the car.

I left it there for about a week.

Eventually I got past the negative feelings again and brought the bedspread into the house. I put it on the bed and while I don't love it the way I did the other one, I am happy to have something clean and bright in the room and it looks great with the valance. My husband has not said one word about it. I suppose I could ask but I am not going to.

When I put that faded old spread into the garbage I felt sad about leaving that last part of our old lives behind. I enjoy having a fresh bedspread to make up the bed each day. When we get the opportunity to move out of this rental house, maybe I will design a room around it - paint the walls and get some new pictures. In the meantime, my next bold step? Replacing the raggedy towels and bathmat...

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-05-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

1.) I understand that this makes me a cranky old bag and I accept that. I am sick of adult women putting on a pair of heels with jeans* and calling it dressed up. It is not dressed up. Very few women look better in jeans than in slacks. It is time to be grown-ups and go back to nice pants. You will look better and more appropriate for the places you are currently trying to "dress-up"

And by the way, that goes for all the chefs on Top Chef too. Sloppy, sloppy, grow-up. (I am making that my my personal version of "Get off my lawn.")

*To clarify, I am not talking here about nice fitting, dark demin. I am talking faded, saggy kneed, frayed hem, well worn everyday jeans.

2.) I am going through a bunch of "last times" right now with youngest child finishing high school - like last time I'll be making vats of mac & cheese for the drama kids on rehearsal nights. Wednesday night was their last performance as a group. I had to miss it due to my work schedule, but my faithful delivery of mac & cheese for 4 years got me a "ticket" to the dress rehearsal!

3.) Please read this wonderful essay by Marlo Thomas about bullying. I agree that we all have to start talking about this problem and not stop until all our kids are safe in school and at home.

I also think that we need to take a long look at what we consider entertainment. Those women on the Real Housewives shows? Bullies. Those coaches on Biggest Loser? Bullies. In fact, the behavior most glorified and egged on on most reality shows is bullying behavior. Those shows are full of people shouting, name calling, cursing, fighting and putting each other down. And if we are watching those shows with the kids around...

Is it any wonder they think that is an okay way to behave?

4.) Saw this tub online and my first thought was about keeping it clean. Based on the comments many others had the same thought - they were also worried about how they would look in it if someone were to come into the bathroom while they were in the tub!

5.) How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes! ~Maya Angelou

At some time this long weekend, remember those we have lost.

A BIG, BUSY WEEK OR SO

2011-05-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

Zac & Maggie

Our daughter Maggie came home for the first time in 2 years! We have not seen her since her graduation last May. She saved up her days off and came out to attend her twin brother Zac's graduation and little sister Ally's Senior Ball send off.

We have been having a lot of fun shopping and lunching and visiting. We 3 girls even went to see the movie "Bridesmaids" and had some major laughs.

I squeezed in a few days of work between events and now Maggie and Zac are off on a camping, hiking and beer tasting trip before Maggie has to go back to work in Philadelphia and Zac back to Monterey to pack up his school apartment and move into staff housing at CSUMB prior to starting his new role as a post-grad staffer.

Zac showing us his rope bridges.

While we were in Monterey we attended an ceremony where Zac received an award recognizing his contributions to the Service Learning program. We also attended his Capstone Presentation where he showed the documentary he made of his teaching project incorporating cultural awareness and math with 15 high school students who built rope bridges like the ancient Incas. He was mobbed by teachers in the audience wanting copies of the documentary and his curriculum!

Family dinner following awards ceremony.

My parents came for the events and then left to drive up to Idaho for another grandchild's high school graduation. They will visit with some friends then make their way back to us for Ally's graduation in mid-June.

I agreed to rush back from the ceremony on Saturday morning to work my shift in the hotel in the afternoon with the provision that Ally and her friends could meet at the hotel for the pre-Senior Ball photo session.

Ally & Christian

There were 4 couples and therefore 8 sets of parents - it was like a paparazzi storm! My camera did not do well in the low light so I am hoping to get some copies of the group photos from the other parents.

The kids had fun and so did the parents. They brought snacks and had drinks from the bar before they caught the bus to San Francisco and the boat which cruised the Bay all evening. It sounds like they all had a really good time.

I am pooped out from all the activity - good thing I have a few weeks to re-group before the next big event!

HOW LOW

2011-05-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

In the news yesterday is the story that the cost of tuition at the California State Colleges will be $7,400 which is more than double the $3,523 in tuition and fees in 2007-08. So in the first year of her college education, our youngest daughter's tuition cost will double that of her brother who is graduating next week.

And really, what is the surprise there? The cost of everything is going up, right? We run around refusing to tax the wealthy, allow corporations to avoid paying taxes because we are afraid they will continue to send jobs overseas, we hide our heads in the sand and sing la-la-la when anyone talks to us about raising our taxes and so we pay, pay, pay in every other way.

The problem we are also not addressing is that in addition to the cost of everything going up - is that our compensation for our work is going down. According to Robert Reich:

In order to keep the jobs they have, millions of Americans are accepting shrinking paychecks. If they’ve been fired, the only way they can land a new job is to accept even smaller ones.

The wage squeeze is putting most households in a double bind. Before the recession, they’d been able to pay the bills because they had two paychecks. Now, they’re likely to have one-and-a half, or just one, and it’s shrinking.

On the on the other hand:

The biggest irony is that the Street is doing wonderfully well right now, in contrast to most Americans. Corporate profits for the first quarter of the year are way up. That’s largely because corporate payrolls are down.

Payrolls are down because big companies have been shifting much of their work abroad where business is booming. The Commerce Department recently reported that over the last decade American multinationals (essentially all large American corporations) eliminated 2.9 million American jobs while adding 2.4 million abroad.

So no matter what the politicians say, those jobs are not coming back. As long as we continue to support big corporations with tax write-offs and loopholes, that money will continue to flow overseas. In the meantime, businesses continue to find ways to cut wages, automate and delete employees and threaten to remove any bargaining power employee unions have, safety measure supported by government agencies and civil rights protections.

In the past business had a big stake in education. They needed their future workers, their capable leaders. Now - they skim the cream off the top and get the rest overseas. The top folks can afford whatever kind of education and lifestyle they want for their families- so these issues don't touch them. Gone are the days when American companies cared about contributing to their country. They only care about what their country will contribute to them.

My family has personally experienced multiple job losses, lower earnings, rising tuition costs, the inability to graduate from college in 4 years because of cuts to classes and faculty, the lack of government services due to budget cuts, threats to retirement and other union negotiated compensation, loss of earnings due to corporate malfeasance and other problems related to the economic crash. We have all educated ourselves, are working hard, raising good kids and we are wondering what the hell the future holds for us and more importantly - for them.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-05-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

1.) Ally and I had a girl's night out and saw Water for Elephants. I read the book years ago and loved it, she read it more recently. I was skeptical of the casting and I am always wary of move adaptations of books I like but was willing to spend the money to see it in the theater and I am actually glad I did. It was enjoyable and as good an adaptation of a book to film as I have seen in a long time.

I realized that the reason so many books I love are so terrible on film is the issue of time - there just is not time enough to tell the complex layers of story and character in the 2 hours or less that we are willing to sit in the theater. I still think that the book was much richer and more satisfying but it was worthwhile - and not just because I had a nice night out with my daughter!

2.) It was predicted that after hatstrvaganza of the royal wedding that the ladies of the US would start strutting their bonnets more frequently than Easter and Derby Day. Apparently there were a number of them at the Metropolitan Gala this week in New York.

Of course, the most talked about ones are those worn by Fergie's girls. I did take a look at some of the other hats worn by Beatrice and I found that the one worn to the wedding was far from the wackiest - and the fact that her coat and shoes were so nice sort of took the edge of the GaGaesque factor. No such excuse for young miss Eugenie - both dress and hat were really bad. To think of having all that money and no taste...or at the least no advisers with her best interests at heart.

3.) In the Bay Area we are paying $4.19 a gallon for regular gas. Ten days ago when I last filled up it was $4.12. I am lucky that I normally don't need to drive much, I can go about 3 weeks on a tank of gas.

I just read in the paper that high gas prices have caused consumers to cut back on their driving and that after 6 weeks of dropping demand, the oil companies are concerned that less driving by Americans (read less interest in buying their high priced gas) is going to undermine the economic recovery.

Okaaay. The oil companies are taking 4 billion dollars of taxpayer subsidies a year and Exxon Mobil reported Thursday that its profit rose 69 percent to $10.65 billion during the first three months of the year.
When the President made a speech on the ridiculous Republican stance on the subsidies, Exxon responded calling it “predictable political positioning but no action to actually help bring down energy prices.”

Uh. Bringing down oil prices seems to me to be in the power of the guys making 10 billion dollars every 3 months.

4.) The hotel plays the same recorded acoustic music every day for months on end. ( I was about out of my mind by the first of the year from the Holiday Mix.) Since then the mix is quite eclectic. Some new age sounding stuff, a few jazzy tunes and a jarring little number that is sort of gypsy music on steroids. The one that cracks me up though is the strings version of the Amy Winehouse song Rehab. Bet she never thought she'd earn residuals from Muzak!

TWO LIVES

2011-05-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

On Saturday April 30 they closed off the streets around the VFW Hall in my town for a memorial service. A young man from my town, Army Specialist Jameson Lindskog, was killed in Afghanistan on March 29. He was 23, the age of my son. A young man under his command flew in from the Middle East and was hosted by our hotel while he attended the service.

On Sunday May 1 a guest came into the hotel and asked if I had heard the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed. I spoke out loud my first reaction - it won't change anything. He seemed surprised by my reaction. I have been surprised by the reactions of many Americans considering the fact that they call the people of other countries barbaric and sub-human for celebrating American deaths.

And, really, what have all these deaths gotten anyone? And why are they continuing? And it isn't just death, is it? There are nearly 200,000 disabled vets now. Two Hundred Thousand young people whose lives are forever altered, whose families lives are forever changed no matter how happy they are that their soldier survived. The suicide rate of vets from these wars is occurring at a rate of 18 per day.

So we managed to kill Bin Laden. Hurrah. What does that change? We went to war in two countries and he was sitting around in a

third country to which we have been sending millions of dollars that our vets could really use to try to put their lives back together. Not to mention the people of this country who need jobs and education and health care.

So really, what is it we are celebrating? Are the wars over? Is everyone coming home? Will the military budget be shifted from the industry of war to the needs of those who have served?

TALES FROM THE FRONT DESK

2011-04-24T20:38:00.000-07:00

Not the actual hotel where I am employed!

Wow. That was a busy few weeks for me. As I had hoped, working the 3-11 hours does allow me to work with my sister on the home staging business. It does make for some long days, though.

Things at the hotel have been busier. We had a group buy out the entire hotel for a few days. They had some cocktail parties in the lobby bar and I had to play bouncer a time or two when people wandered into the hotel despite the big signs on the door saying it was closed for a private party. One guy was an ass about it - surprisingly he is a local realtor who I recognized from his picture in all his ads...you would think having that kind of exposure would make you behave better in public!

Then there was the woman who took one of our Easter decorations up to her room with her. We though she might just leave it there (she was intoxicated when she came in) but she packed it up and took it with her! She may notice the extra charge added to her room bill...

The lobby bar seems to be a popular spot for meet ups which could me nothing else but Match.com arrangements. The sad thing is how frequently they come in and then want to try to serve themselves from the sideboard we keep with coffee, tea and snacks for our hotel guests. When told they will be charged for it - they usually just ask for water or have nothing. How sad that you would arrange to meet someone but we unwilling to buy a drink to sit over. (We have decided that there must be some post out there that incorrectly says we offer free beverages in our lobby and these folks come in expecting it.)

Then there is the regular who occasionally comes in with a much younger woman who spends the night with him. She is notorious with the staff for her sticky fingers. She has taken so much stuff (some of which has been charged to his bill) including coming into the continental breakfast repeatedly and emptying the pastries, fruit and even smoked salmon plates. The manager finally told her that she had to stop or she would have to talk to her gentleman friend about banning her from the hotel.

The most fun for me are the wedding couples arriving in all their finery to check into their honeymoon room. All but one couple have been amazingly young. Sometimes they come in and change into street clothes and head out again, more frequently they arrive hungry and we order pizza for them! All that planning for the perfect wedding meal but no time to eat it!

No stories tonight, though. A quiet Easter evening - and then a couple of days off.

WORKING NIGHT AND DAY

2011-04-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

My sister and I had a very specific business plan for our home staging business. We were not going to invest in a lot of inventory, pay for storage and hauling of furniture - no. By specializing in owner occupied homes we would keep our overhead low and have a niche business. Well, that lasted for 5 jobs. On the sixth job, when asked to stage an empty house - we said yes.

We are not sure why we said yes; does anyone in business manage to stick with their business plan? We decided to go for it and see what we could do with a mix of our current inventory and a few pieces which made sense to purchase and keep.

For two weeks I have been scouring Craigslist, making calls and sending e-mails in search of some specific items we needed - like a prop TV set. I have been through furniture warehouses and every Ross, Home Goods, Marshall's, Target, and TJ Maxx in a 30 mile radius. We have purchased and returned and re-shopped as we altered our plan and adjusted our budget. We had a signed contract on April 11 and had to have the house furnished and ready for market in 10 days.

Then we lugged and hauled furniture, rugs, beds, mirrors, towels, pillows, lamps, art and bedding into the little house and set it up. It looks pretty great if we do say so ourselves...we hope it sells quickly so we get the stuff back into our hands to use again. We are still adding up the receipts to see if we made any money...but it has been quite an adventure to furnish a house in 10 days on a budget of about $1800.00!

More info and Before & After photos will be on my Dwell to Sell blog and website. Still looking for a prop TV...anyone have one for sale? Cheap?!

SUFFERING FOR THE FIRST TIME

2011-04-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

The culprit...

For the past 5 days I have experienced something I never thought would happen to me.

Allergies.

I am suddenly beset by sneezing, sniffling, coughing, eyes watering, post nasal drip and general malaise. I understand why they call people with allergies "sufferers."

And apparently it takes a week or so for the Claritin or whatever to make a dent in the symptoms. I usually throw my windows open and deeply inhale the wonderful scents of my garden this time of year. The jasmine and the wisteria are just bursting into bloom and here I am thinking of purchasing those particle filtering masks just to make it through the day!

I am taking odds on whether the allergy meds will take effect before whatever is blooming is done - one way or the other I know it will be over soon and I will be able to enjoy the Spring again.

MEMORY ISSUES RUN IN MY FAMILY...

2011-04-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

Actual e-mail exchange between my mom and me:

From mom - dated March 22

Do any of you have the March issue of Oprah? There was an article that told what kind of hair products to use for different types of hair. I was going to try the hair spray for straight, thin hair, but I gave away the magazine and I don't remember what it was. Sigh!

From me - dated April 7

Did you get the info from the O magazine? I have it but can’t remember from upstairs (where the magazine is) to downstairs (where the computer is) what the name of the product is!

From mom - dated later in the day April 7

I can remember telling you about the "Magic Eraser" by Mr. Clean but it was given to me by a friend and had nothing to do with the O magazine. Is that What you are talking about or something esle to do with O Magazine that I have completely forgotten? Sigh!

From me - dated April 12

I finally brought the magazine downstairs!

You asked about a hair spray for thin hair – it is called Ojon Thickening Spray. From Ojon.com
If you buy it, let me know if it actually works!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-04-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

1.) We have been busy marketing our staging business and it seems to be bringing in some inquiries and new business! Two big new jobs lined up.

2.) I was getting a head of steam up about the Republicans being willing to shut down the entire federal government if they couldn't shut down Planned Parenthood - sending poor and uninsured women into the world with fewer options for birth control, health care and potentially increasing the need for abortions by 2/3rds!!

Then I read that this is actually a very cynical set-up "Washington Style" allowing everyone to posture and point fingers and "look good" to their electorate when it is settled. The Republicans actually just want more cuts and they know the Democrats will never, ever give up PP so they are using that as their game piece. When they withdraw it, the Dem's look good for "protecting" it and the Republicans get more cuts in return. I am sure the new cuts will be equally abhorrent to taking funding away from women's health. They always seem to be.

3.) We had an actual recognisable (by me) celebrity staying in the hotel last night. Ally about died when I told her who it was. I am hoping the promised signed photo actually comes for her.

4.) Everyone out there hold a good thought for my son Zac tomorrow. He is doing his college Capstone project which involves teaching 25 or so high school kids how to build rope bridges as they did in ancient cultures. It is a math thing - so I certainly don't understand it. He is supposed to have it all filmed and made into a mini-documentary. When that happens, I will post it. Meantime - he needs lots of good vibrations...

LAMENT OF A REAL, REAL HOUSEWIFE

2011-04-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

I know I spent years creating this situation by treating the housework as my job, because,well, it was my job. I was an actual housewife. Not a big haired, foul mouthed, scantily clad female with loads of money and household staff. An actual budget watching, grocery shopping, meal cooking, errands driving, laundry folding, homework helping, housework doing, kids raising, housewife for more than half of my marriage.

HOWEVER. For the past 8 years I have worked outside the home. Most of the kids have left the nest. The one that is still here is 17. The hours I work allow me a lot of time to continue my household "duties" before I go to work for 8 hours in the evening. I usually make a dinner or have a list of easily prepared items available for heating posted in the kitchen.

And yet each night when I come home, there are dishes on the counter and sticky forks and other utensils scattered about. Occasionally my husband washes the bowl his salad was in. Just that one bowl. Nothing else. And he leaves it sitting out on the counter.

Yesterday Ally wanted to make pancakes after I had cleaned up the kitchen, swept and mopped the floors and vacuumed the rugs. I said it was OK if she cleaned up after herself.

When I got home last night, included in the usual dinner mess were all the breakfast dishes. When I confronted her this morning after I had cleaned up most of the mess, she looked around and said "it's just one bowl."

This is my lament.

RANDOM ACTS OF CULTURE

2011-04-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

I love these "flash mob" things that they call Random Acts of Culture. This one was in the Please Touch Museum where my daughter works.

.

SMALL KEYPAD, OLD HANDS

2011-04-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

I sent a text to my daughter this weekend. She responded that I should check out this website: whenparentstext.com. Later on while I had down time at work I checked it out and was stifling giggles and guffaws so I wouldn't draw too much attention to myself...and I wondered if she thinks my texts are as "parent like" as some as these:

April 1, 2011

What Happens In Vegas
Mom: You have been in Vegas for 24 hours now and haven’t checked in. Call me!

(5 Hours Later)

Mom: CALL ME! I just watched a show on girls that go missing on vacation! I don’t know where you are or who you’re with. You need to check in with your mother!

(1 day later)

Mom: If I was with you right now would I be happy or would I be sad?

March 31, 2011

YouTube
Mom: Where can I watch the new Lady Gaga music video?

Me: Try youtube.

Mom: Whose tube?

Me: Youtube mom, its a website.

Mom: Do I have a tube?

March 29, 2011

PF Changs
MOM: We are at pf changs and i am drunk. Do you want sausage in your lasagna?

March 26, 2011

Care Package
ME: i got the package with my charger in it today. thanks for the shoes! that was a nice surprise!

MOM: You’re welcome. Did you notice the leftover crackers we put in there?

ME: umm yeah…

MOM: Well no one here was going to eat them

March 26, 2011

A Serious Crime
MOM: I just wanted to let you know that if you ever committed a serious crime, I wouldn’t turn you in.

MOM: But I would really encourage you to turn yourself over to the police.

(15 minutes Later )

Mom: tonight I’m making tex-mex!

March 25, 2011

When Grandparents Text:

Grandma: Hey honey!

Me: uh hi g-ma.

Grandma: What’s ‘G-ma’?

March 25, 2011

First and Last
Mom: Hi Honey, this is my first text ever! It has taken me over 10 minutes to type so I think I’ll just stick to calling. Love, Mom

I could go on and on adding to these examples. There are just so many, may I say, LOL funny ones on this site. Check it out when you need a good laugh! So I am not sure if my daughter was suggesting that my texts might make it into print someday...but I will have fun monitoring for them!

MY FIRST FIRST SATURDAY DAY OFF

2011-03-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

What I did on my first Saturday off in 5 months:

Ally and I went to:

Because she needs a dress for the Senior Ball which is being held on:

And even though, she bought a dress last year and then couldn't go because of Maggie's graduation, she doesn't want to wear it. Anyone want to buy a prom dress? Cheap!

At the first store she tried on a dress that was way over budget but what she had in mind when we went shopping. Picture this but in white with gold sequins, without the under bust bow and silly pose:

I was very relieved when after a bit of drama and sending of phone photos (to boyfriend, big sister and assorted girlfriends) of a few different dresses this is the one she chose, under budget, too:

So then we went to lunch, Zac drove out from Monterey to meet us and we all had a nice visit! He was very helpful with the dress selection.

After we got home, Tom and I went out and had:

And

And then went to:

It was like a real date. We also stopped off to see what was left:

Which was a lot because, sadly, they are not discounting the books very much.

I think I made good use of my Saturday off. Hope it happens again someday.

MY TRIP TO COSTCO

2011-03-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

Two pounds salmon, 10 pounds frozen chicken breasts, 4 pounds ground turkey, bag of romaine, bag of spinach, 24 eggs, 2 rotisserie chickens = $73.20

A tank of gas = $64.99

OMG.

CBS = GREED OR WHAT THE PUBLIC WANTS?

2011-03-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

I was never going to write about C****** S****. I don't even talk about him, except briefly with my husband in the privacy of our home to bemoan the ongoing media coverage. My husband made a goddesses joke. Once. He got my wifely stony response and that was the end of that.

So why do I mention "he who has been over covered" here? Now? Do you know that CBS is actually trying to hire him back? I am writing because I think it is time for a complete boycott of CBS if such a craven, money mad thing is actually true.

I am sorry if you watch Survivor or The Good Wife or something else on CBS. Perhaps it is easy for me to suggest such a thing because I no longer watch anything on CBS. (The Amazing Race finally got too repetitive for me.) But really. How low can a company go? How low do they think viewers in this country will go? Maybe that is really the worst part...

NAPPING IN THE SUN

2011-03-18T10:56:00.000-07:00

This squirrel was outside my front door this morning soaking up the last of the sun before the next storm comes in. Hilda's fading eyesight gave him the chance to take a nice long nap in peace!

DRINKING WITH THE KIDS

2011-03-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

I read a few days ago about a new study on teens and alcohol and whether being given alcohol by their parents led to "educated" drinking or abuse. I was disturbed that they threw parents who supplied alcohol to partying teens in with parents who offered it at dinner or in family situations. Apples and oranges, in my mind.

My own parents offered us wine with dinner when we reached our teens. Not to excess, but enough to learn about feeling the effect of some alcohol. They opened some champagne when I turned 18 but I don't recall any cocktails being offered until college - though not yet 21.

They were very open about discussing the effects of alcohol and we could also observe because they enjoyed their "before dinner" drinks and had parties at home. I could see that drinking could make things fun - up to a point. I never liked to see people get "out of control" and never wanted to be like that.

The first times I drank outside outside our home I was a senior in high school and there was mostly beer around. I never have liked it so I would carry a can around to be sociable but didn't drink it. The first time I drank too much it was some Tawney Port that someone brought to a party. It was "wine" but with a punch I didn't expect. That was my first "embrace with a toilet" - not to mention the hangover. I learned the lesson to pay attention to how I was feeling instead of assuming I could handle a couple of glasses of something. Those are things I shared with my kids - ways to deal with "social pressures" and what happens when you don't drink mindfully.

When I came home from college (fake ID in my wallet) my dad decided that I needed to learn to drink like a "classy woman". Scotch and water became my drink. It was a way to make sure I knew what it was that I was drinking, rather than trying all kinds of things without knowing their effect on me. Plus it was amazing how infrequently I was carded when I ordered scotch! Low calorie, too.

We have done the same with our kids. We are actually much more occasional drinkers compared to my parents. We have offered small glasses of beer or wine when they were teens and home with us. Sips of cocktails. Frank discussions of the effects of alcohol, differences between different kinds of drinks and tips to avoid overdoing it. (My trick is to order a glass of water with each drink and don't order another drink until the water is gone. It slows down the number of drinks and dilutes the effect of the alcohol on the body.)

When my older daughter decided she wanted to see what to was like to get drunk, she was with a group of girlfriends and learned that she "loves everybody" - a very important thing to know in advance of drinking around guys! I am a very giggly drunk which my kids have enjoyed observing the once or twice a year that I over indulge.

My older kids are now 23. One is into nice wines, the other brews his own beer. They are both social drinkers and while I know they have also over indulged, I don't think they have set out to drink themselves into a stupor as so many young people seem to do. My youngest is still in high school and is not with a crowd that drinks at all. Though I know that will change in college. I have warned my girls to be careful of who is giving them a drink and of not leaving their drink unattended because of the dangers of drugs being added.

By the time they turn 21, 86% of American youths have used alcohol, according to the 2009 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, and 50% are binge drinking (defined as having five or more drinks in a single session for men, and four or more for women.) Surveys have shown that teens who drank along with their parents were only one-third as likely to binge and half as likely to be regular drinkers.

Many teens grow up drinking wine with their parents as an accompaniment to meals in wine-producing countries like Italy and France, where there is no minimum legal drinking age. But research is mixed on whether those teens are more or less likely to be problem drinkers. Apparently the countries with the most binge drinking are those where drinking takes place primarily in bars rather than at home.

I would never offer drinks to other kids under 21 nor allow underage drinking at a party in my home. I think each family has a right to make decisions about teaching responsible drinking in their own way. For 2 generations my family has had success by introducing alcohol at home. Opening the dialogue and educating our kids has worked for us.

What is your take or experience with this issue?

FRIDAY FAST ONES

2011-03-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

1.) I read that the Texas legislature decided they need to get serious about dealing with illegal immigration, so they presented a bill with a stiff, $10,000 fine for anyone hiring illegals. Then, at the very last minute before the vote, someone inserted a paragraph exempting people who hire domestics and yard workers. I guess life just wouldn't be worth living in Texas without a house keeper and yard service.

2.) I sure hope that the citizens of Wisconsin move quickly and surely to recall Governor Scott Walker and the senators behind the sneaky and underhanded stripping of rights from Wisconsin workers. As Robert Reich said on his blog:

Governor Scott Walker and his Wisconsin senate Republicans have laid bare the motives for their coup d'etat. By severing the financial part of the bill (which couldn't be passed without absent Democrats) from the part eliminating the collective bargaining rights of public employees (which could be), and then doing the latter, Wisconsin Republicans have made it crystal clear that their goal has had nothing whatever to do with the state budget. It's been to bust the unions.

For me the most ~~ironic~~ idiotic thing said was by Gov. Walker when he announced that he was saving the "middle class" of Wisconsin by this move. Who the heck does he think makes up the disappearing middle class but the teachers, police and other civil employees?

3.) We watched 127 Hours the other night. I just want to say that anyone (like me) who has avoided the movie because of all the talk about the graphic scenes of him cutting himself free from the rock - it isn't as bad as they say and it is easy to look away for the most difficult moments. I liked the movie, but I don't know why it was up for Best Picture.

4.) I am so amazed and saddened by the destruction in Japan from the historic earthquake last night. Of course our San Francisco stations are almost completely focused on the effects on our area from the tsunami activity - it has been predicted to create a surge no larger than a big storm - but the stations have pre-empted all the national morning shows to say the same things over and over. I wish they were as interested in devoting as much time and reportage to some of the budget problems and political issues of the day. Perhaps our electorate would be better informed.

5.) Ally is taking economics this semester. The teacher has the class doing budgets based on randomly selected incomes and marital/family circumstances. It has been interesting to go through it with Ally who has a "dumb" husband who insisted on renting a house for $4,400. a month and running the grocery bill up to $900. a month! The exercise is a pretty good exposure to real life costs and decision making. I was a bit upset to see that out of the required expenses the instructor assigned, saving money was not included. Talk about missing out on a teachable moment.

I instructed Ally to make savings a priority and to cut down in other areas to allow for it.

6.) Happy weekend and remember to Spring Forward on Saturday night. Save some of that daylight!