BUYCOTTING

Three days after our third dancing class I came down with a cold.  Reality dictates that dancing with 10 men who are dancing with 10 women  means someone in the group is passing around some germs which someone else is bound to catch.  Oh well, a week of complete physical misery coupled with my co-worker being away on vacation left me pretty wiped out.  I spent only a bit of time online, panic led to some bills getting paid, I cooked a little for Tom,  but really did little more than sleep and work for about 10 days.  

One e-mail got my attention which led to a quick Facebook post.  That was the boycott of Barilla products following the ignorant and insensitive remarks made by the CEO of the company with regard to the LGBT community which he "doesn't agree with" and prefers his products be sold to traditional families.  He and the company have been backpedaling and trying to stem the fallout with some  poorly chosen new comments.

The whole thing came about when the CEO was asked about advertising his pasta with same sex couples as many other food companies have been doing.  He launched into a statement which went far beyond "not aware of any current plans to do that" which would have been the way to answer.  Instead he offered up his personal opinion about not liking "the things that they do."  

Some people have suggested that boycotting companies (or countries) which express this ignorance and disdain for equality or make judgments on their fitness to have families, etc. is some sort of liberal bullying and pushing of a "gay agenda."  As someone who has long refused to do business with companies with policies I find offensive, abusive or unfair, I call BS on that.  How else can we as consumers and members of a democratic society express out opinions but by calling out what we don't like, calling attention to it and avoid financing such behaviors by not spending our money there?

I am well aware that there are a great many businesses which are likely backed by much smarter people who hold much worse opinions - they just have the savvy not to expose themselves the way Mr. Barilla has. When and if they let their colors show I will make a similar determination about supporting their business or products.  

Do I only buy from liberal, left wing, progressive companies - no.  But when I am aware that there are forces behind a company I do buy from which I disagree with - I stop.  I don't have a specific agenda - just a conscience and a pocketbook I can choose to open to some and not to others.

ROLE MODELS FOR ALL OF US

Two times this week I heard gay men talking about the lack of role models when they were growing up in a closeted society.  Their desire to see others like themselves living their lives and solving their problems is so natural.  We all look to those around us for clues on behavior, ethics and, well, role modeling.

What stuck me, too, is that by keeping themselves secreted, it wasn't only other LGBT people who lost the opportunity to learn and grow by their example, it was all of us.  After all, it has been proven that prejudice and negativity fall away when people are exposed to those who are different.  As more LGBT people live their lives in the open, raise families and participate in the community; the community has, in turn, embraced them and supported them.

My son educated me to the fact that the reason gay men, in particular, were thought to be promiscuous had more to do with the fact that society didn't accept them coupled up, so their option was to have secretive sexual encounters. The secrecy and lacking the option for open, intimate relationships led to lives where promiscuity was just the way it was done.  Ultimately and unfortunately, it also led to the spread of HIV/AIDS.  Bringing those issues, rights and lives into the light has resulted in our society becoming educated and accepting of our differences and aware of our similarities.  With that acceptance, the spread of the virus has decreased.

I can't say how I formed my attitudes about the LGBT community.  I don't recall my parents discussing it.  None of the gay kids or teachers in my high school were open - but that was 40 years ago!

One of the first times I actually became aware of my feelings were when my kids asked me about 2 men holding hands.  I said there was nothing wrong with people loving each other - no matter what kind of couple they were.  I was proud of the way I answered that question then and really proud of my continued growth and education since. I guess I managed to grow up along with society though I am sometimes saddened by how far we still have to go to become equals.