SUMMER OF 2020 COMING TO AN END

 Outside it is 96 degrees  the sky is a smoky gray that will turn orange when the sun begins to set.  We've had only a few days in the past month that being outside didn't leave you with smoke smelling hair and stinging eyes.

Currently the fires are in California but we have had a few big ones here in Nevada. The afternoon winds I used to complain about are not happening much, so the air just sits still, hot and thick.  If it weren't for the fact that so many people are being displaced and losing everything I would complain bitterly about this new pile-on to the pain of 2020.  But I just look forward to the very early mornings when the air is cooler and if I walk through the thick greenery of the Arboretum, the smoke doesn't sting so much.

The calendar says Fall starts in 2 weeks. I am not sure I am ready to give up on summer - the months of construction noise, dust and inconvenience on our street had finally come to an end right about the time the wildfire smoke descended.  While I enjoyed the effort of planting things and making the yard a bit nicer, the heat, noise and smoke reduced the pleasure.

As a newly retired person and on my own for the first time in 37 years -  it's all a big adjustment.  Having Covid-19 crush most normal life and cancel all the researched, well planned and hope filled ideas I had in place to start my life in a new place left a lot of hours to fill and not much to fill them with.

My routine has been to go walking at 8 then do errands or just head home to water and tend to my plants and stuff.  I take my protein drink outside with my book and enjoy the outdoors before it gets too hot - usually by 10 or 11 I am inside again.  

I have discovered these online surveys that "pay" in gift cards.  They get redundant but it is something to fill time and knocks down my Amazon habit.  (I generally have 5 books lined up to read on my Kindle.)  I also subscribed to the NY Times online.  Sooo much content!  

My son figured out why I couldn't watch stuff on my streaming channels and fixed it so I have been watching more movies and documentaries and less news.  I managed to make it through the two "conventions" but my mood has gone decidedly downhill in their aftermath.  

Some days I see that my easygoing, do whatever I feel like doing life is something others envy - even under these limiting circumstances.   I have enjoyed many of my days meandering through the hours.  I am now thinking I need to do some work - on myself.  I need to figure out my new life, my purpose,  my roles.  

Not sure how to go about it, though.  Any suggestions?