FATHER'S DAY

I was reading an article on Slate about American spending habits around Mother's and Father's day.  apparently we spend about $35.00 more on mom.  The article suggested that the reason had to do with the high price tags of things like spa treatments and jewelry versus ties and gadgets for dad.

At my house I think this may be true.  It is not because dad is less valued - it is because dad goes out and buys himself what he wants when he wants.  It leaves few options for special occasion giving.  When a special occasion is coming up, I store up ideas of things I would like and drop hints or even make a little list - like an Amazon wish list.  This year, as in years past, I asked for a professional house cleaning - this year that was translated to carpet cleaning.  Which is fine.  The carpets needed to be cleaned.  I just wished  Merry Maids was also coming by to scrub the tubs!

When the kids start asking me what dad wants for Father's Day - I may or may not have managed to come up with some ideas.  This year I was pretty blank.  He is getting a gift card for his favorite coffee place   because I can see that he is using his debt card to buy coffee there several times a week.  Our son is taking him out for a long bike ride.  I was coming up really dry for ideas - then it hit me.  Our local favorite restaurant has a great house wine which is not sold anywhere locally (and costs a small fortune to have shipped) but they are willing to sell bottles from the restaurant as long as they are opened (some kind of limitation on their liquor license.)

Now, I send a lot of business to this restaurant in my position at the hotel and I know people have told them I have sent them. On my first visit I introduced myself as a hotel employee to the owner - but I never have since, plus I have never expected or received any special consideration.

That said,  I do admit to a bit of calculation in my thinking when I went in to purchase some of the wine for Tom for his Father's Day gift  when I stopped in,  in uniform,  on my way to work.  At first they were not so sure about allowing me to purchase 6 bottles - but  the chef came out of the kitchen, we chatted and then they decided to allow me to purchase them unopened.  Shhh - don't tell!

So I managed to get something Tom could not get for himself!  Some good karma!

Cheers to all the Fathers!

THE BEDSPREAD STORY

In 1994 we moved our family from a house I loved  by the water in California to Bellevue Washington.  The house we bought was large and we had a view of Lake Washington in the distance.  The house needed a lot of work.  It was full of, I kid you not, pink and blue wallpaper featuring ducks, sheep, flowers, stripes and flowers with lacy stripes. Each and every room was pink or blue or both with the exception of the one room which was completely paneled in dark wood.

Over 3 years time I stripped the wallpaper, painted, re-carpeted, put up some more neutral wallpaper on walls which would have needed to be refinished otherwise, bought  new furniture and accessories.  I also ordered a custom bedspread for the master bedroom with coordinating window coverings.  I found a fabric I loved and never could find a ready made spread that compared to it - so I went for the extravagant purchase.  About a year later the employer who had lured us up to Washington with many promises of stock, bonuses and advancement decided to sell the company, making himself very rich and completely screwing us.

It went from an being an exciting time, building our nest and settling into a new lifestyle to being jobless in a dark, wet  state far away from home and family.  Lawyers were hired, the house put on the market and eventually we made our way back to California.  I took the bedroom drapes with us.

On left the faded part, on right the original fabric.

In the new master bedroom, the bedspread went on the bed and I re-made the old curtains over to work with the new windows.  And when we moved to another, smaller house I did it again.  And when we sold our house and moved into a rental house, I made over the last remnants of the window treatments again to cover a valance above the bedroom window.

So here we are in 2011 and the bedspread is still on our bed.  The once bright and vibrant fabric I fell in love with is now dull, the quilting stitches are coming undone, there are holes in the fabric.  Each day when I make the bed I feel sad that it is no longer bright and pretty.  Now and then I look at new bedspreads but I think "I shouldn't spend the money on that" or "I'll buy a new one when we get our own house again" or
"there are more important things than a bedspread." 

But it always bothered me.  I don't mind not having expensive things but I don't like living with shabby things.

I realized that this had become symbolic.  My feelings about the bedspread reflected much more than just feelings about a bedspread.  After all, each time we went through a change, a move, I had taken the remnants of that lovely room and made them over to fit a new room and making over myself to fit our  new circumstances, too.

Maybe I needed to break free of this largely self-imposed stalemate.  Time to do something that is important to me.  Time to feel free to do something even if it is self indulgent because it will simply make me happy and give me an opportunity to finally let go of what once was.  Time to stop worrying what my husband or anyone else might think of what I am spending on now that our circumstances are so changed. 

 So I started looking for new bedspreads again.  I knew it had to be a certain kind of fabric - I don't like shiny and satiny.  I like a nice woven cotton.  And not too thick and puffy but not too thin like a coverlet.  And the colors should be similar to the original spread because I don't want to have to replace the valance I had covered, too. And I could not spend more than about $100.

And after looking on and off for about 5 years - the first place I entered (a Tuesday Morning store!) I found the right thing.  The fabric, the color, the price!  It was a king and I needed a queen, but I bought it. 



The new bed spread in the back of my car.

 I took it upstairs and put it on the bed - too big, but it looked pretty good.  So I found a store with a queen and set off to do an exchange.  I got lost getting there.  When I finally found the store,  I could not find the receipt which I had carefully placed in my wallet.  I really wanted the $40.00 price difference back in my checking account - but wound up with a store credit.  I got even more lost on the way home.

Please believe me when I say I do not get lost.  I have a great sense of direction and this was a huge aberration.  I was feeling such remorse about the purchase, the "loss" of the $40,  the apparent karmic overtones of getting lost.  By the time I got home I just went inside and left the bedspread in the car.

I left it there for about a week.

Eventually I got past the negative feelings again and brought the bedspread into the house.  I put it on the bed and while I don't love it the way I did the other one, I am happy to have something clean and bright in the room and it looks great with the valance.  My husband has not said one word about it.  I suppose I could ask but I am not going to.

When I put that faded old spread into the garbage I felt sad about leaving that last part of our old lives behind.  I enjoy having a fresh bedspread to make up the bed each day.  When we get the opportunity to move out of this rental house, maybe I will design a room around it - paint the walls and get some new pictures.  In the meantime,  my next bold step?  Replacing the raggedy towels and bathmat...

ANOTHER INTERVIEW

After my near miss encounter with the jaywalker the other day, I came down with a cold.  Karma?  I think not.  Rather the trip to the mall for school clothes, surrounded by hoards of people.  I need to start carrying that anti-bacterial stuff with me...

Anyway, I was laid low all week and weekend.  I watched  a great deal of some TV and felt very sorry for myself and ate pasta for the first time is many months.  I recovered enough to enjoy the first hour or so of the Emmy Awards last night and today I am up and in business casual dress for yet another job interview.  Business casual means I am not wearing pantyhose as another job seeking blogger mentioned the other day (hear anything Jen?) 

I am not sure why I applied for this job - I certainly never thought I would get a call.  Maybe that should be my new strategy?  It is a part-time position on the weekend in an Animal Emergency Center.  I like that it is 20 hours a week in 2 days, I like that it is on the weekend so I could still work with my sister during the week.  I know I could be calm and cool dealing with the situations I would encounter (both the people and the animal ones) and all in all I just thought - well, it is not ideal, but I could make some money.

It isn't like we do much of anything on the weekend.  On the other hand, if I am never available, we certainly never will do anything much!  I am a bit concerned about spoiling it for doing things with Ally - again, few and far between...

I have not discussed it with my husband because I suspect he will not understand or approve my thinking and at this point - why bother since I have yet to be offered a job.  So I am going in to see how it goes.  Nothing gained, nothing lost.