FOUR FULL MONTHS TKR POST OP

I wasn't sure a couple of weeks ago that I was still making progress, but as has been the trend, as soon as I doubt, I turn a corner.

I am still leaving work a bit early to get in some extra PT time every day.  To be honest, though, I frequently use the time to do errands and just escape that last boring hour of work that feels like it lasts 2 hours!  I still experience enough stiffness by the end of the day that I am taking  my PT seriously most days.  Honest.

I realized about a week ago that when I get out of bed in the morning, I hardly notice my knees - I am back to my lower back being more of a bother than my knees. Hurrah?  By the time I am up and around for awhile I tend to get a bit stiff, so I do a few stretches before I leave for work.

 I started parking up the hill in my usual spot and have given up the luxury of the handicap spot right in front of the building.  I am fine on the hill and the extra walking is good before and after a day of sitting. I am also getting in and out of my car with much more ease.

The biggest issue I have had is a bad tooth infection in a molar I had a root canal in a year ago - I experienced several days of significant pain, stiffness and general feelings of being unwell until the antibiotic kicked in.  Those admonitions about oral health are not to be taken lightly. The infection did not travel to my knees, but they were definitely impacted.

TRIED FULL TIME AND BACKED OFF

My plan was always to build up my work hours back to full time by 12 weeks - and I did.  Now I am backing off.  Only by one hour a day, but this is why:  I leave for work at 7:15 am and get home around 5:15 pm.  I am the "chief cook and bottle washer" as they used to say - so by the time I get home I am straight into  the kitchen getting dinner together, then cleaning up then I am too tired to do a real PT work out.

I tried full time for over a week and found not only was I tired at work all day, I felt like my knees were getting stiffer as the week went on.  I am lucky that my manager was totally behind me reducing back my hours to keep the healing process going forward.  I have had 2 days of a better work out and time on the bike - so I hope this is a good move.

I have a good friend who is a neurologist - I mentioned this issue of incision tenderness and sleeplessness to her, not in hopes of a diagnosis but because we both, as many older women I know, have issues with getting good sleep.  Anyway...she immediately suggested I contact my doc about a prescription which helps with nerve pain and has the side effect of drowsiness.  Started it last night and it didn't make me sleepy.  But I will keep trying it for a while and report the name of the drug if it seems helpful with this particular set of issues (in case there is someone else experiencing them.)

One more piece of news is that I rode a bike OUTSIDE last weekend!  A short ride - a few miles - but I felt it in my quads just above the knees. Even the little rises were a challenge after a stationary bike for 3 months!  The weather is supposed to be great this coming weekend so I am very excited to go out again.  I even wore my bike shorts and let the world see my scars!

So that's the story week 13.

BACK TO WORK - 10 WEEKS POST SURGERY

I survived my first two weeks back at work - weeks 8 and 9 I worked between 3.5 and 5 hours per day.  My job keeps me on a chair, wearing a headset in front of a computer.  I managed very well with taking breaks to stretch my legs and use ice during a break. Put a box under my desk to change my leg position now and then.

I was stiff when I got home - about a 20 minute drive which is hard on the right leg - and usually did an immediate PT session followed by ice, then another one before dinner.  I found I was very tired and in bed early each night.  I am still using Tylenol and Advil  and, though I keep trying to skip it, still using the Percocet at bedtime - hopefully I'll be off that in the next week or so.

The only other complaint I have is continued incision pain/discomfort.  The incision is healing really well and looks good but by the end of the day is so tender and sensitive I frequently go to bed early so I can leave my knees exposed - no clothing,  sheet or nightgown touching them! Have not read about anyone else having this issue...

This week, week 10, I am up to 5.5 hours per day (at work 6 hours due to required lunch break) and plan to increase to 7 hours next week and back to full time on my 12th week following surgery.

 My surgeon thought this was ambitious but I am feeling good, I still have time for at least 2 sessions of stretching and strengthening.  I was concerned during week 9 because my right leg was not showing the same improvement and strength as my left, but it suddenly kicked in, they are getting more equal and my gait is much improved.  I still get more stiffness in the right knee and work it harder during my PT sessions.

 I am only up to about 20-25 minutes a session on the exercise bike - I do feel more pain following the longer sessions so I am trying not to cause a backwards slide - tho I really feel good when I am on the bike!!

STARTING BACK TO WORK

I graduated from physical therapy last week about the time I got a paycheck for $54.00.  Time to go back to work so I don't owe them money for my benefits!

Over a week ago, I achieved a flexibility level of 126 on both knees - had no issues from the start with getting to 0 on my straight legs. I have some wobbliness and weakness on my right knee that I am working on strengthening for, but I was the first of my PT group to "graduate".

 I spent my last few sessions working on things like balance, climbing stairs and the hardest for me - getting on and off a regular chair without pushing off with my arms.  Ouch.  (I admit my biggest fear is getting stuck on a low public toilet and not being able to get up!) I had to put my fear of the pain behind me and after a few practice tries at standing up from the low chair in the gym - I could do it pretty well and it got less painful as I went. 

I also started driving during week 7. Freedom!!!  Though I wouldn't want to try to drive very long or far at this point! That driving leg is my weaker one and it gets stiff when I am in stop and go traffic.

At my appointment with the surgeon I asked for a letter to return to work on a limited basis and was given permission so long as I keep in mind this is still "early days" as he put it. So I started last Friday for just 3.5 hours with 1  break to ice and a few stretching out walks around the office.  I went again today for the same amount of time and might try for 4 hours tomorrow. 

Not sure if there was a betting pool on the likelihood of my returning at 8 weeks - but there were some very surprised people...also very welcoming people.  Nice to be out of the house for a few hours a day, then home to do my PT and rest.

Normal here we come.

THE TRIAL OF JURY DUTY

As  I mentioned many weeks ago when I last managed to post, I was summoned to jury duty in Federal Court for a trial scheduled to last for 3 months.  Last Friday was my first required appearance at the courthouse in San Francisco.

I got up at 5:30 in order to get to BART (our mass transit system) in order to arrive by 8 am.  Other than fumbling around like an old lady when I tried to figure out how to pay for parking, that part of the day went smoothly.  I managed to find my way to the courthouse, make it through security and up to the jury assembly room with 10 minutes to spare.

There were about 80 of us gathered, we watched a video extolling the life affirming experience of serving on a jury and the crowd seemed to be pretty pumped up, even more so when the staff took over to explain about being paid $40. a day plus mileage for serving on the jury.  As more details were discussed, we found out that a remarkable number of us had not read the materials we were sent and had no idea that it was a lengthy trial. The mood shifted to panic.  Then we were offered a possible way out!  We simply had to fill out a 50 page questionnaire for the judge and attorneys to review.

After being able to explain the hardship of being unpaid for 3 months and the fact that I would also be required to reimburse my employer the $1800 per month  health insurance premium my paycheck wasn't covering, I felt confident that I didn't need to be too strategic on the rest of my answers.  I was honest: "Would I consider the testimony of law enforcement officers more reliable than other testimony?"  Absolutely not!!  "What is my experience with local police officers?"  I believe they target people of color and especially young men. There were questions on guns, gangs and tattoos - which gave some insight to the subject of the case.  Also various questions about our family, hobbies and education.

When I told Tom about my answers, he was certain I would not be required to return on Monday for the next round in the process.  Not so.  I called in at 5 Sunday night to find I had to report at 8 on Monday morning.  Everyone at work was freaking out,  apparently things had not gone well with me out of the office on Friday...

So up early, back on BART and to the assembly room, then shuffled to another room where we sat for the better part of an hour, then herded down 2 flights of stairs to courtroom only to find it was the wrong room, back up two flights of stairs to the assembly room for another 30 minutes.  The clerk came in and dismissed about 10 of us for unstated reasons.  Another wait, then herded back downstairs to the correct courtroom where they spent 30 minutes lining us up in order and getting us seated.

The judge came in, made some remarks and began the process by speaking with about a dozen of the jury candidates about their financial hardship requests for dismissal - my request was not addressed.  The judge and about 20 of the 30 attorneys in the room had a side bar to discuss who would be released.  They let about 7 more go.  then the judge spoke with people who had other hardship requests - one guy was an insomniac after 30 years on the graveyard shift and he sleeps all day, one woman's husband was being deployed and she was moving in with her family, a couple of unemployed people - that sort of thing.  They side bared again and let 5 more go. I was getting nervous and a little ticked off.

By now it is noon.  My stomach is growling so loudly my neighbors are commenting, we are not allowed to eat or drink (though the attorneys have cups of coffee and jugs of water.)  Finally the judge asked if there was any reason anyone else had for not being able to sit on the jury - my hand went up - along with about 10 others.  They went around the room, heard our explanations and had another side bar.

As I looked around the room I realized that there was 1 African American left, 2 white women in addition to me, 4 white men and the remaining pool was Asian.  If they were making some decisions for the sake of diversity, this may not come out in my favor.

There were clearly going to be multiple defendants and were likely to be a multitude of "counts" against them. Sitting in the courtroom, seeing all the attorneys, all the files and paperwork stacked up everywhere took me back to my law school days - but didn't make me want to toss my life aside  for 3 months and join them.

I was allowed to leave after that round leaving behind about 40 people from which 17 would be selected.  I suspect that it would be a genuinely unique life experience to serve on a jury, and, as I wrote on my questionnaire - send for me next year after I stop working, and I am all in.

STILL HERE #2

The top pf Coyote Point, overlooking SFO - we rode the
shore line trail and up the hill last weekend.

Working, working, working - many hours of overtime each week,  along with the raise  I got (yea!) makes my paychecks  much more satisfying.  Two of the 3 projects I took on are winding down so I may get some breathing room and the opportunity to take a bit of time off.  Or at least stop going in at 7 am!!

Then again - I have been called for jury duty in US District Court for a trial lasting from June 23- August 31!!  I won't know until June 20th or 23rd if I am selected...

Weekends have been nice - lots of bike rides, some outlet shopping, going out for meals and cocktails. Some organizing, donating and packing of stuff for our move in September. Visits with the kids and family.  Reading a lot in the evenings.

Got my mosaic area out from under the tarps and found 3 projects I had forgotten were waiting for grout!
I have ideas for posts I'd like to write - hope to have the time and energy to get back to all the things I enjoy and have been neglecting.

How are you gearing up for summer fun?

LONG TIME NO BLOG

I got tired of being tired and always whining and decided not to post until I had something to say which didn't

include bike riding or complaining.

So, let's see.

My son Zac has been accepted to grad school at Portland State University.  In September he will start working toward his MA in Education, Educational Leadership and Policy with a specialization in Post-secondary, Adult and Continuing Education.  He will also be certificated in Service Learning and something else I can't remember right now...So proud of him, though very unhappy he will be so far away after all these years of being able to hang out with him in lovely Monterey...  He promises he will come back to California but I know these things evolve on their own.

Our Maggie, being a case in point far away in Philadelphia.  She is being pursued for a new, very exciting opportunity which I will not reveal until it is a done deal.  I will mention that my dear friend and high school BFF was visiting Philly last week, had lunch with Maggie and had lovely things to say about her.  Proud mommy, me.

Allison is a week or so away from starting her senior year - though it looks like it may be more like 3 semesters to finish her degree.  She has already started a challenging internship which she will toil through this summer - but it is actually paid!

I have signed on to Mrs. G's Baby Steps Challenge and my goal is to handle the annoying people I must deal with at work - actually, I need to deal with the way I deal with them better.  My new mantra is something about there always being waves but we can learn to surf.  I searched Pinterest for a nice graphic to go with the pithy saying but came up with stupid looking things written on driftwood with little anchors and crap like that...  So I am visualizing the ocean and taking deep breaths and thinking about surfing waves when people are pissing me off.  That and getting my desk changed to another space away from all the craziness are really helping!  I also got a new computer which actually works efficiently and has a gigantic monitor.  Cool.

Tom and I were cheered to learn while watching 60 Minutes last night that we are doing the right thing for our longevity by exercising, socializing and going to Happy Hour at least 2 times a week.  In fact the suggestion that we have 2 drinks a day may add another couple of cocktails to the week.  Whoohoo!

FOOL NOT ONLY IN APRIL?

I wonder sometimes if I am just a foolish person.  Not in all aspects of my life - but specifically in my work

life.

When our finances made it necessary after 16 years out of the workplace (and while I still had my kids in school,) that I find an income and health insurance, I had one restriction - no commute.  After 8 months of job seeking with poor response and no results, I drifted down the ladder in terms of the types of jobs I applied to.  I found that trying to get directly back to the management level or field I left was not going to happen.  If I applied for management jobs the response was negative due to being out of the market for so long and when I applied for entry level I was questioned about why I would do that work with my background.  Plus I was turning 50.

After nearly a year of job searching, I took the job I was offered,  and was pretty much running the small business after a couple of years.  The only reason I left after 5 years was because of a new hire who chased out a couple of us long time employees in order to rule the roost.  It was an awful experience to go through.  I still get upset when I think about it.

I cycled through  a couple of low pay, dead end jobs.  Now I'm in another small business finding that after a year I am, again, running much more of the business than I was hired for.  I am working a lot of hours, having sleepless nights and anxiety over my workload.

The owners of the business contribute a great deal to my anxiety because they over  promise and then dump a lot of their work onto the small staff on top of our already substantial workload. It's been escalating for months.  In fact we are all looking forward to them taking a week of vacation because it may give us the chance to catch up.  The fact that they get to go to a warm, sunny place for a week, away from the devastation they are causing and we get to clean up the mess is not lost on any of us.  But there it is.

So, today, on April Fool's Day, I  wonder if I am just a fool to care so much, to work so hard, to take so much of this burden to heart for business owners who have the attitude "that's what you get paid for" about their employees who are really working above and beyond our "pay grade."  (I am paid $16.00 per hour,  $4.00 per hour less than the person I replaced and $5.00 per hour less than I was earning 5 years ago.)

I hope to stop working all together later this year - thanks to the Affordable Care Act, I don't have to work for health care coverage.  In the meantime, this fool is trying to find a better approach to getting through the day, be a good employee and co-worker and still leave it all behind when I go home for the night!

MORE THOUGHTS ON WORK

The other day I sat down to write about my job and the pleasure I take in working with the women there.  I wandered off through a litany of my jobs in the last few years.  Probably because I woke up at 5 am and couldn't get back to sleep.  Blogging while sleepy makes for meandering thoughts.

When I told someone in my book group that I was hoping to get out of my last job and wanted to work with women again, she was skeptical.  I have met a lot of women who prefer to work for men.  I don't get it.  I have had the best experiences working with women and especially women in creative environments.  My last job was tolerable but tiring when it came to the sexist "jokes",  language, innuendo and the boys will be boys stuff.  Even that isn't what broke down my desire to remain.  There was a fundamental unfairness in the compensation offered and a negative attitude toward the employees by the owner.  He harped on any little problem and rarely acknowledged the positive.

In the jobs I have had in the past 9 years, the businesses owned and run by women have been the most "fair" when it comes to how employees were treated.  There was concern for the individual, appreciation was expressed for hard work and benefits were more generous.  And with those policies and attitudes came more success than in the last business I worked for.  Karma?  I don't know.  Just an observation that with happy, supported employees comes hard work and extra effort which contributes to the bottom line.

The exception was the hotel.  The manager was thin skinned and overworked so her management was uneven.  She had a great assistant manager who is the main reason I stayed so long.  The owners of the company were the big problem.  They are multi-millionaires who were incredibly cheap when it came to employees.  They were known to say they hated having employees (they are primarily involved with real estate investments and built the hotel for reasons unexplained.)  They paid just over minimum wage and I was amazed to find out shortly before I left that no one had had a raise in over 4 years. 

When I left  a couple of long time employees said something along the lines of "all the good ones leave."   That does seem to be the way it works.  Turnover is a pretty strong indication that there is something wrong not with the employees but with management.  But as often happens, those who create the problem tend to blame others rather than recognising their part.

The man I worked for last was talking with one of his insurance agents and their conversation turned to finding good employees.  The insurance guy said  "We don't have an unemployment problem in this country, we have a lot of unemployable people who don't really want to work."  My old boss took up that statement as his new complaint.  I pointed out that I had seen ads from insurance companies when I was job hunting and they wanted all kinds of skills and experience, even sometimes a license yet offered no more than $10.00 an hour in pay.  Do they really think that is going to attract qualified applicants? 

Getting a job in a tough economy is important, but what is the point of a job that doesn't pay enough to cover even the most austere expenses?  (Remember, we live in one of the most expensive areas of the country - maybe $10.00 an hour is a living wage in other parts of the US, but not in the San Francisco area...) 

Blaming employees for the cost of doing business; downsizing, reducing benefits and pay, not offering sick

days or vacation time, etc. are short sighted and short term fixes which rarely, if ever, positively affect the bottom line of a business. And clearly, we have all seen the death of good customer service, the long wait to get through to a live person when we call, had to search for an employee when we are shopping and need assistance and the long check out lines in stores. 

Now that the economy is starting to recover, it would be a great idea for businesses to invest in hiring, training and generously supporting some good customer service employees again.  We would all benefit.

WORK, WORK, WORK

In the past 9 years since I went from stay at  home mom to working I have had 6 jobs.  It seems like a lot to me since I am not really a job hopper.

The first job was with a small web based retail company and I was there for 5 years.  I loved the job and was devastated when I was forced out of it by the combination of a manipulative co-worker and weak business owner.  It still haunts me.

One job was very short lived, only 6 months. An old friend was made the manager of a local office of the finance company she worked for and after I had been at my first job for just over a year with no medical benefits and low pay,  she strongly recruited me even though I told her I didn't think I was a good fit. The pay was really good and the benefits were huge, but I was right and left to go back to the my first job where I was a good fit, had been missed and the owner added medical benefits as an inducement.

Shortly after I left the small business the economy took a dive and it took me a long time to find another job. I worked with my husband in his law practice but that was affected by the economy, too and I needed to get out there again so I took to applying for pretty much any job and ended up at the boutique hotel.  Basically I enjoyed it, I liked the 3-11 shift as it gave me lot's of time to blog and get stuff done and I had lot's of time to read while I was working.

My hours also allowed me the opportunity to go into business with my sister.  She wanted to increase the home staging work she was doing in addition to her work as an interior designer.  We did that together for about a year but her life just got too busy with her children and we stopped pursuing that work.

Tom grew lonely with me gone in the evenings and it was very clear that I could stay at the hotel a long time but with no opportunities to improve my pay or position or change my working hours, so I began to apply for other jobs yet again.

Which took me to the office manager job.  I knew going in  that the guy who owned the business was "a character" and for the most part I dealt with him and his boundary issues.  I didn't mind the all boys, construction worker, roughness of the environment.  I did mind that I was bored and had little to do most of the time and the busy work had run out and the days were so slooow, also that the owner was getting more bizarre and financial promises were not kept.  So I threw my hat in the ring again.

My current job is great.  I enjoy the women I work with they are professional and smart and the environment is stressful but supportive. No finger pointing or lectures over mistakes, just straight forward problem solving and move on.  I went from half my day being down time to feeling guilty for leaving my desk for a 30 minute lunch.  The days fly by. (And I learned I need that 30 minutes away from my desk to re-group!)

One of the business owners is in her 30's with 2 little kids and as hectic as her life is she said she can't imagine not working as I did for 16 years.  The older woman I work with has been employed throughout her life and doesn't show any inclination to retire.

I can't say that I want to work.  I would prefer to be home, pursue my hobbies, have time to hang out with my sisters and go to the gym and get my house clean and keep it that way.  I would like to have the freedom I had looked forward to once the kids were gone and my life was no longer tied to their schedules and needs.

But that isn't the way life has gone.  In support of Tom's dream of practicing law, my trajectory was steered in a different direction.  All kinds of forces have entered the picture over time and who knows what might be the next thing to send me off!

SATURDAY ON THE BIKE

We were out on the bikes early today because it is supposed to get very hot - we are having record setting temperatures this month. I had Tom take a photo in front of the mustard plants because they shot up over my head in the past 2 weeks since we rode this trail!  Last weekend we went a different route so I could get some hill climbing practice!

I am loving my new helmet, it's so cool and light.  I can see from the photo that I need to hem the sleeves of my shirt.  (I got it on sale at REI and just lopped off the long sleeves.) Another thing I see in the photo is my need for a better sport bra!  Very uni-boob and low here. Photos are so enlightening...

Anyway - I am amazed at how much stronger I am getting on the bike.  I am using the higher numbered gears a lot more and Tom measured our average pace at 12 mph this trip.  Next weekend is our bike "event" along the Sacramento River. I am confident of the distance, just a little worried about how crowded it might be as I get nervous with other people riding close to me! 

In other news - I am loving my new job!  It is  amazing how fast the day goes by and I am having fun helping put the design orders together for the stagers. The new employers are happy with me and how quickly I am catching on to everything which is very validating.

NEW JOB

I've been pretty dissatisfied with my current job for some time so I have kept an eye on Craigslist and other job sites.  I have also been working at an alternative to a regular job by signing on with Rodan and Fields Dermatologists as a consultant.  I really enjoy representing the skin care line and I know I could build it up into a more lucrative business and will continue to work on that.

In the meantime, I have done a couple of interviews and this weekend I was offered a new job!  I am really excited about it - more money, better benefits and I will be working with a bunch of creative woman again.  It is for a home staging company which also does furniture and accessory rentals for stagers.

They are crazy busy and I look forward to being in a busy job again.  Time just drags when there is nothing going on and that has been the case with my current position for months now.  Between that and the "boss with no boundaries" I am glad to be moving on.

WOMEN AND LEADERSHIP

I have seen a couple of interviews with Sheryl Sandberg, the Facebook exec who wrote a book about women in leadership. I have also read some of the backlash and commentary about her. While I agree that a woman in her position of uber-wealth has little notion of what it is like for average families and single moms to work and raise children.

However,  I don't disagree with much of what she has to say about keeping your foot on the gas of your career right up until the time you need to slow down or stop.


I know that I have gone for decades without being able to determine what I want without a whole list of people and their wants and needs filtering my every thought. At 1 1/2 years since our youngest left for college, I am at the point of unscrambling that filter a bit.

I don't think I am alone in this. We women try to manage everything right up front, to plan and figure out how to make it work. If we are doing this in our work lives before the big issues are at hand - then we are putting the brakes on our careers based on what might be. Something men are certainly not doing and it holds women back.

I have obsessed over this issue when it comes to my daughters.  What to advise them about work and marriage and families.  My kids were grateful for my presence as an at home mom.  Personally I think it is the ideal - but I didn't have work or a career I love.  I didn't have a need to be out there to feel fulfilled.  And I certainly am not going to judge the women who do have those things.  I just don't know how they do it unless they make a lot of money, have a lot of flexibility and have a lot of help.

I have also paid dearly for not keeping a foot in the workplace for the 16 years I was home.  I have been working in low paying and unsatisfying jobs far beneath my education and training since our lives experienced an unplanned for upheaval sending me out to work again.

The big reason this whole issue is important to me really isn't the part about work/family balance.  It is the part about women having a different perspective on things which is so important to bring into corporations and government and all aspects of our society.

We have a different voice and way of looking at things which we need to inject into the decision making process if our country is ever going to move forward in a more humane and thoughtful way.  We need to encourage and teach girls how to be leaders and not hold back from taking those roles.  So I agree with Sheryl Sandberg when she says "Lean In":

"If more women lean in, we can change the power structure of our world and expand opportunities," she wrote. "Shared experience forms the basis of empathy and, in turn, can spark the institutional changes we need. More female leadership will lead to fairer treatment for all women."


I would say for all people.

ECONOMIC REALITIES

I am busy enough with work and all that I am not reading and watching as much about the economy and politics and such.  I did read an article by my favorite economist (because he is straight talking and wise) Robert Reich. 

He discussed the painfully obvious fact that our economy, which has for many, many years now been shifted to rely on spending by the middle class for goods and services for it's health; will not be able to recover as long as the middle class is being squeezed out of the earning end of the deal.

Duh. 

The thing I realized, too?  I has been a really long time since we have had much spending money.  And our income is somewhat above the middle class range.  It isn't just putting kids through college that has bogged us down, the incredibly high cost of health insurance has been draining. 

We don't have car payments; two of our vehicles are over 15 years old and we bought our "new" car 5 years ago. We don't own our home and the last vacation we took was in 2008. We don't have a flat screen TV or iPhones.  Our biggest purchase in the past 4 years was a new mattress.  I'd like to get the dental crown I broke a year or so ago replaced, but I can't afford it unless I put it on a credit card.


Economist Gary Burtless of Brookings Institution indicates that the middle class encompasses from one-half the median income to twice the median income. This would make the middle class income range $25,117 to $100,466. MIT economist Frank Levy believes that those in the middle class have enough money to afford the basic building blocks of a good life, including a house, a car and money to pay necessary bills. He suggests that families in their prime earning years are middle class if they fall between $30,000 and $90,000.

So while it may sound like I am whining - I really don't mean it that way.  I just think that there are so many of us flying under the radar of the politicians and economists that are not part of the discussion.  People who are educated, have worked hard, had some financial success and security and now it is gone and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight - and no plan that will change things for us any time soon.

 I know we are lucky to have had those years of relative financial success.  We have had some nice homes and furnished them well and reaped the rewards of their increased value.  We never managed to take the kids to Hawaii, but we had some great shorter trips to Disneyland and Tahoe.  If they needed braces, they had them, if we wanted to go out to dinner, we did. There was summer camp, swim lessons,  roller blades and bikes.  We had cars available for their use and we paid for sports and school activities, prom dresses and tux rentals.

Many of our financial stresses came from Tom pursuing his dream of a law practice - not many people can do the work they choose.  And I had 16 years home with the kids - I would never have chosen to miss that.

So while the unexpected economic shut down has made things more of a challenge that we expected, we are hanging in there and looking for those in the know to set this country back on the rails. I don't want to be the generation that made it impossible for my kids to live at least as well as we have.

FILES FULL OF SURPRISES

I thought following in the footsteps of an office manager who held the position for 8 years would be a challenge.  After all, I have never worked in this field before and there are a lot of very technical components to the work.  Plus she handled many things for the business that I have not had experience with.

What I did not expect was to walk into such a disorganized mess.  In part it was messy and dirty because no one had been doing the job or sitting at her desk for over 2 months.  There were over 700 e-mails in the inbox!

 I finally found a way to get onto Quickbooks because I noticed a handwritten notation at the bottom of a phone list and it turned out to be the password.  There are things tacked to the wall with push pins which make no sense and don't appear to be important - one was dated from 2008.

But the files.  OMG the files.  Pretty much each file I open has stuff that relates to the label and also a bunch of stuff which doesn't.  There are files full of mixed subjects with dates running from 2003 to the present.  And these are the files in the desk - I haven't even started going through the 4 other file drawers in the office.  The customer files seem to be in good shape, but the cabinet hasn't been purged since 2007.  So there is a project.

Today the owner and the project manager were out on an emergency call and they parked in a place where they needed to use their flashers, which ran the battery down.  They called AAA and found out that the previous office manager hadn't renewed the membership this year.  They missed another appointment while they were getting service for the truck!

I have been bemoaning the fact that I had so little to do at the hotel, and now I see project after project all lined up.  Kinda a good feeling!

GET UP AND DO IT AGAIN

I made it through the first week of working 2 jobs.  I was really tired by Friday.  I went to the gym and soaked in the whirlpool tub and steam room until my muscles were wobbly instead of achy.  That and 9 hours of sleep on Friday night revived me.

This week will be easier.  The person taking some of my schedule is available to work on Wednesday and Thursday, so those two days I will only be working at my new job.

With the extra funds from working so many hours I am going to hire in a housecleaning service.  Some women love to get a facial, a massage or a new outfit for a splurge.  I will always go for a professional housecleaning.  The luxury of coming home to a house cleaned from top to bottom (and not  by me) is just bliss.

TWO JOBS

I told my new employer that since I go to work in the late afternoon during my notice period, I could come in for a few hours a day to get started.  Today was my first day. 

The good news is that I have my own office space, though the office machines and time clock are there for everyone to use.  Most of the employees and the owner are in and out all day so I will be on my own most of the time and can do things with a lot of autotomy.

The bad news is that the woman who had been running the office for many years was not organized or very clean.  There are file folders all over the place with no rhyme or reason.  When I found a W-4 to fill out it was from 2003. She password protected the computer programs and didn't leave a list of the passwords.  There are little scrawled notes about all kinds of things and I am hard pressed to know what is important and what is trash.  It is going to take a long while to get it straightened out.

I spent much of the 4 hours there today just cleaning the surfaces of everything, cleaning out the pack rat's desk and sorting  piles of papers.  Tomorrow I will start looking for files to put them in and try to make some sense of things.  The owner plans to move the furniture around to a better configuration and to paint for me. A nice fresh beginning!

JUMP?

I have been going along thinking things were fine.  Then a couple of things happened and I recognised that I have been going through the motions for months now.  I like having my days to myself and working late afternoons/evenings when I am more prone to just hang out at home not doing much.

Except that I haven't been doing much with my days, either.  I have been really inconsistent about going to the gym, which was a big reason I liked the idea of having so much time. My sister has not been actively looking for staging jobs, which was the other reason for having my days free.  My house isn't especially clean, ironing is piled up.  My To Do list has nothing crossed off and some of those things have been on the list for months!

There have also been a couple of minor incidents at work which made me feel under valued and woke me up to the fact that I am really underemployed and it is beginning to take a toll on my psyche.

Which brings me to the job offer I got today.  A bit more money, fewer benefits. I would be a one woman show running the office.  Nothing taxing intellectually but the owner of the business is a character and the place needs a lot of work to get it organized.  He liked me, I liked him. About 12-15 minutes away from home, 8-5.  Tom is excited that I will be home evenings.  I won't miss wearing a uniform.

Still running the pluses and minuses in my mind, but it does seem time for a change and one has been offered up.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  It always seems like local towns are fighting against cell towers (while everyone also complains about bad cell phone connections.)  I know the concerns are partly for the unknown health issues , but mostly people are worried about the appearance of the towers causing their property values to be undermined.

 I'm not fooled by towers dressed up like trees, the teal color they take on after time in the sun is just not a tree color found in nature.  I wonder, though, if they couldn't make them look more artistic?  Couldn't they sell them as "public art"?  Maybe they should have a design contest and find ways to make them work properly but look cool.


2.)  The Christmas music was turned on before Thanksgiving in the hotel.  It was an interesting mix this year, more current artists performing renditions of old favorites.  I realized why having the Christmas music in the background bothers me so much more than the rest of the music, actually Muzak.  It's the lyrics.  The rest of the year the music is all instrumental.

I mentioned it to our manager and she said that she hated the tape they had sent, that the hip hop (she called it rap) versions were inappropriate for our environment and she asked for a new instrumental one.  Last night I realized after about 4 hours that the music was different.  Yep, having music with singers is so much more invasive.



A small preview of my holiday decor.

 3.)  I am done with the decorating - except for the tree.  I am saving that for when all the kids are here on the 19th.  I  try to purchase very little new each year and I like to recycle what I have and use it in different ways.  This year I bought some ribbon, 2 new "pine" garlands and some sequined branches.

Jen on the Edge is hosting the Holiday Homes Tour again, and My photos will be included, hope you come by On December 21st.

4.)  I am also almost done with shopping.  I have not been to the mall and I may not even go there!  I have set up my wrapping table and plan to spend a lot of time getting things wrapped and out of the way this weekend.  Next weekend Maggie will want to sleep in the bed currently covered with boxes and bags and a pile of ironing.

 I 'm also starting to plan  meals for the family.  I saw a segment on TV with chef Anne Burrel making Cornish Hens with Pomegranate Molasses.  Doesn't that sound amazing?  And Sweet Potato Gratin is what I am going to take to my sister's house.  How are the holiday preparations going for you?

3.)  I ended up having a one on one meeting with the benefits person for our company (the rest of the attendees are Spanish speaking and they had their own meeting.)  After going through all the options and talking through my thinking and bottom line - coverage with more money in my paycheck - I decided on a High Deductible plan.  That way I pay more than half what I have been paying and get a  tax deductible Health Savings Account to put money in which collects interest and rolls over every year.  So instead of paying Kaiser for a level of care we rarely use, I am paying myself in case there is a catastrophic event.  I can't wait to see my paychecks in January!

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Ally was home for an overnight visit this weekend.  We had a nice visit - got the scoop on her life at college and had a long discussion about her major.

She is currently a Theater major, but she had been having doubts  that she wanted to pursue drama.  I guess her one theater class was all it took., she wants to change her major.  However, like her mom and so many others - she doesn't know what she wants to study or do with her life.

We talked through our own decision making, the impossibility of knowing what skills might be in demand 5 years from now and the Holy Grail of "having a calling."  We talked about ways to go about discovering different options and how to apply her interests to the possibilities.  She is an ENTJ on the Meyers Briggs scale, she is smart, expressive and a little too concerned with her social life. When I asked her what she is the most interested in, she said "sleep."  Okey-dokey.

So I am putting it to you - how did you or someone you know figure it out?  What would you recommend to a confused college freshman?   as a woman in my fifties who has never figured out what I want to be when I grow up - I feel a little help would be handy on this subject!