STRESS- THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT!

So this morning I totally broke my resolution for the new year and used the phrase "sure as hell" when speaking to an insurance company rep.  When she reacted by saying she preferred that I not use profanity I asked to speak with a grown up.  Yeah - not much of a love ninja today.

After I concluded my business (I am thinking after 30 years with my insurance carrier that it may be time to make a switch.) I recalled reading about this on the Scientific American website:

An almond-shaped structure in the center of the brain called the amygdala is a hub for emotional responses. When it’s in high gear, feelings tend to rule the neural roost, blocking the ability to rationally consider the best course of action. Ideally, we would all pause long enough for rational thought to take over—say, after someone cuts us off on the road or criticizes our efforts at work or at home. Some educators believe that such a skill should be taught to everyone at a very young age.


A curriculum called MindUP conceived by actor Goldie Hawn includes an activity called the "amygdala shake-up" designed to help children understand the need for this sort of patience. For this activity, a teacher creates a crude model of the amygdala from a soda bottle filled with water, sand and glitter. Then, in front of the class (or a single student), she turns over the bottle and shakes up its contents to show what happens when a person gets stressed or upset. Once the glitter and sand are mixed, she rights the bottle and waits for the sand and glitter to settle, explaining that the wait represents the time it takes the amygdala to calm down enough so that a person can make a good choice.

What an excellent thing to teach kids!  I like the glitter image, too.  It reminds me of that idea of "seeing red."

I also read this great post by a teacher who teaches mindfulness in her classroom.  She writes about the connection between the amygdala and bullying.

 I need to remember to take that deep breath first, BEFORE I react…instead of after when I am trying to calm myself down.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Ally was home for an overnight visit this weekend.  We had a nice visit - got the scoop on her life at college and had a long discussion about her major.

She is currently a Theater major, but she had been having doubts  that she wanted to pursue drama.  I guess her one theater class was all it took., she wants to change her major.  However, like her mom and so many others - she doesn't know what she wants to study or do with her life.

We talked through our own decision making, the impossibility of knowing what skills might be in demand 5 years from now and the Holy Grail of "having a calling."  We talked about ways to go about discovering different options and how to apply her interests to the possibilities.  She is an ENTJ on the Meyers Briggs scale, she is smart, expressive and a little too concerned with her social life. When I asked her what she is the most interested in, she said "sleep."  Okey-dokey.

So I am putting it to you - how did you or someone you know figure it out?  What would you recommend to a confused college freshman?   as a woman in my fifties who has never figured out what I want to be when I grow up - I feel a little help would be handy on this subject!

CORPORATE EDUCATION NATION

I have listened in and read some of the information being shared at the NBC Education Nation Summit.  They say it is NBC News' "initiative to engage the country in a solutions-focused conversation about the state of education in America."

After reading an article on the "Corporate Education Reform Movement" I wondered who the sponsors were of the NBC program - with the exception of the University of Phoenix which has some questionable practices and claims, they were mostly foundations with varying approaches and programs to aid education.

I was happy to see that the companies who produce data driven standardized tests and technology for the classroom were not in evidence - at least openly.  Why?  Here is a quote from Tom Watkins, one of the major "consultants" to those businesses:

Let's hope the fiscal crisis doesn't get better too soon  It'll slow down reform.

And why would that be?  Well, under the stress of budget cuts and the duress of more threatened, schools are turning to the products of these "Education Reform Corporations" in an attempt to make the changes demanded by the feds, the states and the politicians.  The schools can say "Look, we invested in all these tests and all these technology programs - see?  We reforming."

However, in their panic, they are ignoring the fact that the kids using the technology and taking the tests are not doing better.  There is no proof that the billions of dollars are improving basic learning.  But they sure are improving the bottom line of the companies which produce them.

So why is this the continued focus of political education reformers?  Follow the money. 

DRINKING WITH THE KIDS

I read a few days ago about a new study on teens and alcohol and whether being given alcohol by their parents led to "educated" drinking or abuse.  I was disturbed that they threw parents who supplied alcohol to partying teens in with parents who offered it at dinner or in family situations.  Apples and oranges, in my mind.

My own parents offered us wine with dinner when we reached our teens.  Not to excess, but enough to learn about feeling the effect of some alcohol.  They opened some champagne when I turned 18 but I don't recall any cocktails being offered until college - though not yet 21. 

They were very open about discussing the effects of alcohol and we could also observe  because they enjoyed their "before dinner" drinks and had  parties at home.  I could see that drinking could make things fun - up to a point.  I never liked to see people get "out of control" and never wanted to be like that.

The first times I drank outside outside our home I was a senior in high school and there was mostly beer around.  I never have liked it so I would carry a can around to be sociable but didn't drink it.  The first time I drank too much it was some Tawney Port that someone brought to a party. It was "wine" but with a punch I didn't expect.  That was my first "embrace with a  toilet" -  not to mention the hangover.   I learned the lesson to pay attention to how I was feeling instead of assuming I could handle a couple of glasses of something.  Those are things I shared with my kids - ways to deal with "social pressures" and what happens when you don't drink mindfully.

When I came home from college (fake ID in my wallet) my dad decided that I needed to learn to drink like a "classy woman".  Scotch and water became my drink.  It was a way to make sure I knew what it was that I was drinking, rather than trying all kinds of things without knowing their effect on me.  Plus it was amazing how infrequently I was carded when I ordered scotch!  Low calorie, too.

We have done the same with our kids. We are actually much more occasional drinkers compared to my parents.  We have offered small glasses of beer or wine when they were teens and home with us.  Sips of cocktails.  Frank discussions of the effects of alcohol, differences between different kinds of drinks and tips to avoid overdoing it.  (My trick is to order a glass of water with each drink and don't order another drink until the water is gone. It slows down the number of drinks and dilutes the effect of the alcohol on the body.) 

When my older daughter decided she wanted to see what to was like to get drunk, she was with a group of girlfriends and learned that she "loves everybody" - a very important thing to know in advance of drinking around guys!  I  am a very giggly drunk which my kids have enjoyed observing the once or twice a year that I over indulge.

My older kids are now 23.  One is into nice wines, the other brews his own beer.  They are both social drinkers and while I know they have also over indulged, I don't think they have set out to drink themselves into a stupor as so many young people seem to do.  My youngest is still in high school and is not with a crowd that drinks at all.  Though I know that will change in college. I have warned my girls to be careful of who is giving them a drink and of not leaving their drink unattended because of the dangers of drugs being added.

By the time they turn 21, 86% of American youths have used alcohol, according to the 2009 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, and 50% are binge drinking (defined as having five or more drinks in a single session for men, and four or more for women.)  Surveys have shown that teens who drank along with their parents were only one-third as likely to binge and half as likely to be regular drinkers.

Many teens grow up drinking wine with their parents as an accompaniment to meals in wine-producing countries like Italy and France, where there is no minimum legal drinking age. But research is mixed on whether those teens are more or less likely to be problem drinkers.  Apparently the countries with the most binge drinking are those where drinking takes place primarily in bars rather than at home.

I would never offer drinks to other kids under 21 nor allow underage drinking at a party in my home.  I think each family has a right to make decisions about teaching responsible drinking in their own way.  For 2 generations my family has had success by introducing alcohol at home. Opening the dialogue and educating our kids has worked for us.

What is your take or experience with this issue?