FOOL NOT ONLY IN APRIL?

I wonder sometimes if I am just a foolish person.  Not in all aspects of my life - but specifically in my work

life.

When our finances made it necessary after 16 years out of the workplace (and while I still had my kids in school,) that I find an income and health insurance, I had one restriction - no commute.  After 8 months of job seeking with poor response and no results, I drifted down the ladder in terms of the types of jobs I applied to.  I found that trying to get directly back to the management level or field I left was not going to happen.  If I applied for management jobs the response was negative due to being out of the market for so long and when I applied for entry level I was questioned about why I would do that work with my background.  Plus I was turning 50.

After nearly a year of job searching, I took the job I was offered,  and was pretty much running the small business after a couple of years.  The only reason I left after 5 years was because of a new hire who chased out a couple of us long time employees in order to rule the roost.  It was an awful experience to go through.  I still get upset when I think about it.

I cycled through  a couple of low pay, dead end jobs.  Now I'm in another small business finding that after a year I am, again, running much more of the business than I was hired for.  I am working a lot of hours, having sleepless nights and anxiety over my workload.

The owners of the business contribute a great deal to my anxiety because they over  promise and then dump a lot of their work onto the small staff on top of our already substantial workload. It's been escalating for months.  In fact we are all looking forward to them taking a week of vacation because it may give us the chance to catch up.  The fact that they get to go to a warm, sunny place for a week, away from the devastation they are causing and we get to clean up the mess is not lost on any of us.  But there it is.

So, today, on April Fool's Day, I  wonder if I am just a fool to care so much, to work so hard, to take so much of this burden to heart for business owners who have the attitude "that's what you get paid for" about their employees who are really working above and beyond our "pay grade."  (I am paid $16.00 per hour,  $4.00 per hour less than the person I replaced and $5.00 per hour less than I was earning 5 years ago.)

I hope to stop working all together later this year - thanks to the Affordable Care Act, I don't have to work for health care coverage.  In the meantime, this fool is trying to find a better approach to getting through the day, be a good employee and co-worker and still leave it all behind when I go home for the night!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  My mother in law died in 1986.  She lived in New York but Tom handled the estate and so her mailing
address was attached to us.  For all these many years and 7 moves, her mail has continued to follow along.  Most of it has been from AARP and other "senior" related businesses but we get credit card applications and other stuff, too.  For 27 years!!

Today I received more mail for her - a postcard for college entrance exam tutoring.  So now that she would be 87 years old, she has landed on a list for college bound students.  I think my children will still be getting mail for the grandma they never met long after I am gone!

2.)  Tom and I braved the crowds and went to the outlet mall on Sunday with all the back to school shoppers.  We actually had fun in the crowds. I picked up more of the Tommy Hilfiger shirts I love (in a smaller size.)  For the first timer in my life I went into J Crew.  The saleswoman may have been trying to flatter me by bringing me a size 8 pair of pants (I bought them in a 12) I also got a cool denim shirt with pearl snaps - now I can't wait for Fall weather!  

3.)  We have been nervous about Zac's job search following the end of his AmeriCorps service.  He has occasional shifts at the Monterey Bay Aquarium and a 4 week engagement with SeaLab which is an outdoor ed camp for students - but nothing steady was falling into place.  Then he got a call from REI (part time but they offer benefits!!) and then he got a call from a home brewing store in Marina looking for a part time worker.  They had heard about Zac in the home brew community and got his number from someone who went into the store to buy him a gift certificate!  He is thrilled that he gets to work in 2 stores which involve his hobbies - though we did discuss not spending all his money there...

We are much relieved that he is gainfully employed during this year off before he starts grad school and that he gets to do things he really enjoys on top of it.  (Plus REI discount.  Whoohoo.)

4.)   I think I have complained about the house we are renting and have also complained about still being here long after we expected ( 7 years!!) and have mentioned one of the reasons why it doesn't work for us is the "open concept" floor plan which is inexplicably popular.

 Now I am reading opinions of others who share my distaste for this floor plan.  Having the kitchen open to the living rooms and dining room is noisy and messy and I cannot wait to start looking for new digs next Fall when I am promised by my husband that we will finally move.

5.)  We have had many occasions this summer to enjoy eating meals on the patios and sidewalk  areas of local restaurants.  We have been surprised to find that each restaurant we frequented was allowing people to have their dogs with them in these outdoor areas.

Most of the time it was okay but there were some annoying situations, too.  Has this become the norm across the country or it it just here in the Bay Area?  What do you think about sharing your meal with dogs?

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Ally was home for an overnight visit this weekend.  We had a nice visit - got the scoop on her life at college and had a long discussion about her major.

She is currently a Theater major, but she had been having doubts  that she wanted to pursue drama.  I guess her one theater class was all it took., she wants to change her major.  However, like her mom and so many others - she doesn't know what she wants to study or do with her life.

We talked through our own decision making, the impossibility of knowing what skills might be in demand 5 years from now and the Holy Grail of "having a calling."  We talked about ways to go about discovering different options and how to apply her interests to the possibilities.  She is an ENTJ on the Meyers Briggs scale, she is smart, expressive and a little too concerned with her social life. When I asked her what she is the most interested in, she said "sleep."  Okey-dokey.

So I am putting it to you - how did you or someone you know figure it out?  What would you recommend to a confused college freshman?   as a woman in my fifties who has never figured out what I want to be when I grow up - I feel a little help would be handy on this subject!

THE COURAGE CAMPAIGN

The banner which flew around the golf course throughout the game!

The Courage Campaign is a political organization which has been supporting the gay marriage legal process in California, among other things.

This morning I recieved this e-mail from them following adding my signature to a petition for the passage of the new jobs bill:

We wish you could have been with us this morning as 60 of us loudly greeted Speaker Boehner here in Newport Beach for his "golf with the 1%" event. Courage Campaign members and staff were joined by friends from the California Federation of Teachers (CFT), United Domestic Workers (AFSCME), the Orange County Central Labor Council, MoveOn.org, Occupy Irvine, IBEW, UNITE HERE and so many others on the street in front of one of the most exclusive resorts on the planet.


Your signature made all the difference. Know what Speaker Boehner did when we confronted him? He turned his back on you and went to play golf with the millionaire lobbyists from whom he takes orders.


This was one step. With your help, we'll never rest until all 19 California House Republicans and the Speaker vote on the President's jobs bill. Even John Boehner has to realize that the 99% deserve jobs and a chance at the American Dream, not the back of his head.

I love their creativity!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.) I have decided that I need to give up on buying the generics and store brands.  I keep ending up with products that are so inferior that I feel ripped off even though I saved a bit of money.  I think the days are long gone when the big companies just packaged their goods under store labels.

2.)  I think I have PTSD of sorts.  Except it is "Post Election Advertising Stress Disorder".  Every time a new ad comes on when I am watching TV I have a gut reaction to mute the sound.  I started doing that about 10 months ago when I got so tired of hearing Meg Whitman's voice...

3.)  Don't hate me but I am  about 85% done with my Christmas shopping.  A combination of keeping the lists short, using my final paycheck and having time to shop.

4.)  On one of the many sites I read occasionally I ran across this post by a woman in my age group who resorted to starting her own business because she needed income and found it difficult getting hired - sound familiar?  Then I saw what she is selling - even more familiar!  But I have looked very closely at Etsy and e-Bay and mosaics just don't sell well. I also had a booth at a local crafts store.   For some reason people like to look at them, admire them, but don't buy them.  So I wish her luck.

5.)  And what will I be doing this sunny and surprisingly warm and dry weekend?  finishing a couple of mosaics!  Perhaps I will post pictures on Monday.  Hope you are happily engrossed in pleasurable activities, too.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.) A general observation I have for businesses: You need to hire more people. The amount of bad will and negativity that is building up in your customer base is becoming insurmountable. Loosen up those payrolls and put enough people out there to reduce waiting times in line, on hold and for returned calls and paperwork.

It was really ridiculous to see one agent at the Delta counter trying to juggle seat assignments for a dozen standby passengers, announcements, scanning boarding passes for passengers being loaded onto the plane by zones while determining if their luggage would fit the extra small overhead compartments and tagging the over sized ones to be checked. She was frazzled, the customers were irritated and the whole boarding process took over 45 minutes for a small plane.

IT'S TIME TO START HIRING! The financial problems do not lie in the number of employees you have actually serving your customers.

2.) Speaking of jobs. All 3 of my children have become employed. My 16 year old will be earning $10.00 an hour which is what many of the jobs I have been applying for are offering - it is so sad. I am still buying lottery tickets.

3.) We hired a pet sitter for our 13 year old, somewhat blind and deaf, 7 pound mini-dachshund, Hilda, during our recent 4 day trip. We told the neighbors. Apparently, one of them called the police to complain that the dog was barking, in the house, at 11 pm on Monday night. We came home to a citation. Fortunately a "Courtesy Citation."

4.) We have discovered that our youngest daughter (a high school junior) is a lot more up in the air about her college preferences than we thought. She has been firm in her desire to attend a small to medium school in a moderately sized town. She wants a relationship with her professors and the feel of a campus community. However, she, fell in love with Philadelphia this week.

Penn is out of the question..but what about Drexel? Maggie's boyfriend just graduated from there and took her on a tour, she liked the campus, she has the admission requirements...and her big sister will be living in Philly for the time being...but once we were home we took the time to look at the Drexel website, and it is not a good fit academically. Ally doesn't really know what she wants to study and Drexel is designed for kids who are very focused going in.

So, how do we go about continuing to expose Ally to a variety of colleges that will keep her excited and help her find her direction? Any suggestions?

5.) We are a family of bike riders. My husband and two older kids ride a great deal, including on city streets. We frequently debate on the ins and outs of safe riding. Maggie rides her bike down the middle of the street to avoid car doors being opened. After reading about this fatal accident, I think she has the right idea.

On a city street in Oakland, a bike rider was knocked into/under a city bus when a woman opened her car door into him. He was killed. She continued on to her hair appointment. Yes, it was an "accident." It aways seems that the victims in these accidents are the dead and maimed bike riders who are following the rules and the people who cause the accidents are the hurried, careless ones wielding tons of steel.

As the weather improves and schools let out, please take the extra moment of time too look around you, check your mirrors and make sure that there is not a person on a bike in your path.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.) Driving behind a big truck with a big bumper sticker "Freedom is Not Free" and it just makes me crazy because these are the same guys that bitch and moan about taxes.

They think war is the way to solve problems and just how do they think money is raised to pay for wars? Corporate sponsorship? Do they think dead and maimed bodies are the only price of war?

With every one of those bumper stickers or tee shirts should come an invoice for the now 1.5 TRILLION dollars spent in Iraq and Afghanistan for our "freedom."

2.) I have a new plan for our financial salvation. At the rate things are going with my job search, I am thinking I have as good a chance of winning the lottery as I do of getting a job.

So I am going to start buying lottery tickets in addition to sending out resumes and going to agencies. I'll keep you posted!

3.) I love the new campaign for Valentine's Day "Love your Sweetheart but breakup with your big bank." The idea is to move your funds, no matter how small, from the big banks - BofA, Chase, Wells Fargo and Citigroup to smaller local banks, this is a political movement to make banks small enough so that they cannot hold their potential failure, due to their own greedy bad decisions, over our heads.

We did this some years ago and find we have better service and lower charges.

So how does moving my little $900.00 savings account change anything you say? Just like every vote counts, every decline in deposits is missed, even by the big boys. Just think about what even a 10% decline in deposits would mean - and then 20%...Come on everybody - practice some tough love on those banks!

CUTE AND COOL

I have noticed that my children and their friends have been saying that I am cute. I am 56 years old, silver haired, over weight and for the first time since toddler hood – cute. I think this is in part due to the fact that I am an admitted fan of Lady Gaga.  Older moms liking pop divas is cute.

I do love Lady Gaga tunes on my iPod when I am working out at the gym. I also like the Black Eyed Peas, The Killers and some selected Beyonce, Justin Timberlake and the club versions of many other pop tunes. I jump climb up on the machines and pretend I am dancing instead of exercising.  I am cool that way.  Cool and cute.



My lovely son called me after his first day of classes and was complaining a bit about an “old man” who was in one of his advanced math classes who, apparently, had not taken algebra very recently and held the class up asking some really basic questions. He praised the man for going back to school to pursue his degree, but hoped that the entire class would not be held back due to his ancient algebra skills.



The conversation moved on to my frustration with my job search and the fact that I applied for a second time for a job that had been re-posted. A job which I have the perfect qualifications and skills for, but it is obviously for a youth focused company. It is behind the scenes but I am sure there is concern whether I would fit in.  The do not know I am cute and cool.



My son expressed outrage at this.  I pointed out that it was no different than his attitude about the “old man” in his math class. How old was he? He sounded sheepish. I understand that young people have an attitude about older people. As an older person who really needs to work, that discrimination is damned frustrating and virtually impossible to fight. I do believe that I could make a good case for myself given the chance to interview. In 11 months I have had 1 phone interview.



I am the same age as Oprah. How many employers would pass on the opportunity to hire Oprah? If they looked at her resume blind, based on her age, they probably would.

THROUGH TOLERANCE COMES UNDERSTANDING

I am checking my e-mails constantly and jumping at the phone in case there is any movement on the job hunt. There isn't. On Craigslist, which I only check 4-5 times a day, I have seen a lot of jobs for "activists" to fight against Prop 8 - for the repeal, actually. It is only listed as summer work, they are looking for college students to canvas. I am interested to know what the plan is so I think I'll call to see what they have going on in my area.

I know that there has been some talk of activists turning up the heat on the Mormon church. In other states and on the internet, there have been ads which say "The Mormons are coming!" to play on the fact that more people harbor apprehension about the Latter Day Saints than homosexuality.

Of course the problem with that approach by an organization called Californians Against Hate is obvious. To invite fear and prejudice against an entire religion is not exactly showing tolerance. Using people's ignorance to fight ignorance is ludicrous.

Having lived in the West all my life, I have known many members of the LDS Church. Generally very nice people, devoted to family - some very creative, some living pretty high, most leading simple lives. Not one have proselytized, pried into my beliefs or tried to get my kids to go to their church youth group. Can't say the same of any other church goers.

I have always believed that when people know gay people personally, especially same sex couples, they support same sex marriage as a civil right. It is hard to deny rights to people you know and care about. Fewer people in this country know Mormon people, the population is small and mostly in the western states. Few Mormon people know openly gay people. It is not accepted in the LDS church (unlike the Catholic church which has a formal position -which is ignored on many fronts.)

I think the confrontations with the Mormon Church and the Catholic Church and all the religious groups which involve themselves in political issues has to be on the separation of church and state front. A delineation of the line between civil rights and religious beliefs.

I was horrified when I saw the name of a woman I know, living in my town , who had donated $5000.00 to pass Proposition 8. This family lives very frugally. Their lives revolve around the LDS Church. We have fallen out of touch over the last few years, and I wonder if we would have talked about this issue if we were still sitting on the sidelines at our daughter's swim meets. I'd like to think she would have listened to my point of view because we have always been respectful to each other.

I hope that the Californians Against Hate will find a way to fight the religious institutions without causing people to be disrespectful of the people who are members. Intolerance breeds intolerance. We need to do better.