I NEVER

Things I have never done and don't think I will - thought I have always told my kids "never say never..."

1.  I have never seen a Planet of the Apes movie and I will not see the new one coming out - really Hollywood?

2.   I have never taken a selfie.  Maybe the occasion will come up, but I will never buy a "selfie stick" in order to make myself look thinner when taking a selfie.

3.   I have never eaten a funnel cake or deep fried watermelon or Twinkie.

We went to the fair and there was so much food, food, food - some interesting and enticing stuff, though the 90 degree heat made for the longest lines for frozen lemonade and ice cream...  I did indulge in a frozen banana. Yum.

4.   I have never participated in a triathlon -   Except as a Course Marshall trying to keep the cars from hitting the bike riders.  On the way back they had to cross 5 lanes of traffic.  It was just Tom, me and 1 traffic officer.

Nerve wracking!!  But fun.

5.  I never thought Joan Rivers was funny - the fact that she has made herself rich and famous for being  mean and hateful, especially directed at women, really bothers me.  That she can't take criticism does not surprise me.

What do you never?

HOSTING BOOK CLUB

At about 7:15 I was thinking I would be writing a post called "I hosted book club but nobody came." I knew that attendance was going to be low, but since it was supposed to start at 7, I was getting worried that I would be the first hostess to have no club members turn up!

I ended up with 5 of the 18 members here.  We discussed the book "The Light Between Two Oceans" which was a tragic story but very worthy of discussion.  Beautifully written, too.

I tried to keep my food options light and easy - just

a veggie tray, some nuts and nibbles.  I made an ice cream and sorbet  bombe and some shortbread cookies for dessert. The bombe turned out beautifully and everyone really liked it.  It was perfect because I could make it a day ahead and just had to put out the food and drinks when I came home from work.

Tom and I cleaned the house on the weekend - he helped by waxing the laminate floors which turned out great.  I finally made my finished needlepoint into a pillow. That's the nice thing about entertaining - it stimulates housekeeping!

Book Club hosting done for the year, a clean house and  a long weekend coming up!  A nice end to the summer.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  Now we have some insight on why Romney and friends are  saying the President is going to raise taxes on the middle class - He thinks people making $200,000. - $250.000 ARE the middle class.

2.)  I noticed a long time local politician being lauded for his "long history of public service."  I suspect if they didn't like the guy they'd call him a "career politician."

3.)  We happened to catch a documentary the other night : Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour.  It is showing on Current TV.  Very funny and smart.  Stephanie Miller, the focus of the movie,  has a radio talk show which they film daily and show on the same channel.  We added it to the DVR list. 

4.) I have managed to miss the Honey Boo Boo show so I didn't realize until now that HBB is not her name.  It is a nickname and there is a nick name generator which tells me I am "Sweets Wisteria."  Not nearly as interesting as my hooker name which is Stubbs St. Francis.

5.) Tom is moving his office into the house this week,  He has been very cranky and bothered over the process and freaked out by how noisy it is when the neighborhood kids all come home from school in the afternoon and start playing outside. We'll see how long this set-up lasts.  At least it will get cold and dark in the next few months which will keep the shrieking kids out for a shorter period of time.

6.) Found out that the arsenic in rice thing is even worse in brown rice because it likes to reside in that nice brown husk.  I don't eat much rice because I eat low carb most of the time, but the irony of the "healthier" version of rice being more potentially toxic is interesting. Apparently rinsing and cooking rice in larger amounts of water (vs. a steamer) helps reduce the amount of the naturally occurring arsenic.

7.) Right before my Nook died, I finished a book called The Age of Miracles.  The premise of the book is that the Earth begins lowing in it's rotation around the sun.  Instead of a big apocalyptic end of the world, it simply starts slowing and we follow the changes through the eyes and experience of a 12 year old Southern California girl.  It is a sort of limited take on the premise, but interesting and thought provoking.

BODY, BODIES, BODS

It's one of those things women can't ever seem to get right.  Fashion dictates one thing, men desire another, surgery creates the unnatural. Medicine suggests we fit into the narrow lines of a chart, one look around the locker room tells us that isn't realistic.

This weekend I was sitting poolside with my sister and her daughter.  My sister is concerned that her daughter is too heavy.  Her daughter seems to be quite comfortable in her body.  My youngest daughter is heavier than I think she should be, too.  I struggle with talking to her about it.  What must it sound like to have an obese mom talk to you about your tummy?  I worry because I don't want her to go down my road, she worries because she is okay with how she looks - is that bad?

There are  girls trying to be super thin and also girls getting to be  fat.  The fat girls, because there are so many more of them than there were in the past, aren't getting quite as stigmatized.  They call themselves curvy which suggests they have chosen their look just as the skinny girls have.

This morning I heard about a study in the UK that 7 out of 8 women didn't feel attractive.  How sad is that?  I know that at my advance age and size I feel past being attractive, but I still have my days.  So when I think of all those young women out there not feeling pretty, it just makes me feel sad. 

There is something so wonderful about that feeling of being attractive - feeling young and alive that I still remember.  It gives a glow.  It is really about happiness.  If women are happy, it doesn't matter what their physical appearance is; how symmetrical their features, how big their bust or slim their hips. 

So that is the answer - not to take away our daughter's happiness with themselves.  Offer them the opportunities to make healthy choices and love them and nurture their happiness and beauty.

REMAINS OF THE HOLIDAY



Hilda was not cooperating.

 The house filled up.  It was crowded , noisy and especially after the gifts were opened,  it looked like an episode of Hoarders.  Then it emptied out again.  Well,  Ally is around for a few more weeks but manages to be out more than in.  The dog  wandered around all day looking for her people. I carried out bags and bags of trash and recycling. Cleaned out the refrigerator. Ran the dishwasher, yet again. Scrubbed the sticky counter tops and did a quick mop of the equally sticky floor.



That's the one.

 The recycling can is full of beer, wine and champagne bottles, one testament to the good time we had.  I finally got my picture of the kids together and printed out my annual letter.  I managed to sign and address them while at work, sent in time to be New Year's greetings.

 Feedback indicates the biscotti and chocolate macaroons were the favorite cookies this year.  The Sweet Potato Gratin I made for our big family dinner was a hit.  I am thinking I should toss the Peppermint ice cream Maggie didn't polish off...

Tomorrow I will attack the one remaining mess - the wrapping table in the upstairs hall.  Then I will reclaim the front bedroom for my pile of ironing and maybe put Downton Abbey on the TV while I iron.  The new season is starting up in January. 

So, the holidays.  Fun, exhausting, tasty, familiar, satisfying, worth it.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  It always seems like local towns are fighting against cell towers (while everyone also complains about bad cell phone connections.)  I know the concerns are partly for the unknown health issues , but mostly people are worried about the appearance of the towers causing their property values to be undermined.

 I'm not fooled by towers dressed up like trees, the teal color they take on after time in the sun is just not a tree color found in nature.  I wonder, though, if they couldn't make them look more artistic?  Couldn't they sell them as "public art"?  Maybe they should have a design contest and find ways to make them work properly but look cool.


2.)  The Christmas music was turned on before Thanksgiving in the hotel.  It was an interesting mix this year, more current artists performing renditions of old favorites.  I realized why having the Christmas music in the background bothers me so much more than the rest of the music, actually Muzak.  It's the lyrics.  The rest of the year the music is all instrumental.

I mentioned it to our manager and she said that she hated the tape they had sent, that the hip hop (she called it rap) versions were inappropriate for our environment and she asked for a new instrumental one.  Last night I realized after about 4 hours that the music was different.  Yep, having music with singers is so much more invasive.



A small preview of my holiday decor.

 3.)  I am done with the decorating - except for the tree.  I am saving that for when all the kids are here on the 19th.  I  try to purchase very little new each year and I like to recycle what I have and use it in different ways.  This year I bought some ribbon, 2 new "pine" garlands and some sequined branches.

Jen on the Edge is hosting the Holiday Homes Tour again, and My photos will be included, hope you come by On December 21st.

4.)  I am also almost done with shopping.  I have not been to the mall and I may not even go there!  I have set up my wrapping table and plan to spend a lot of time getting things wrapped and out of the way this weekend.  Next weekend Maggie will want to sleep in the bed currently covered with boxes and bags and a pile of ironing.

 I 'm also starting to plan  meals for the family.  I saw a segment on TV with chef Anne Burrel making Cornish Hens with Pomegranate Molasses.  Doesn't that sound amazing?  And Sweet Potato Gratin is what I am going to take to my sister's house.  How are the holiday preparations going for you?

3.)  I ended up having a one on one meeting with the benefits person for our company (the rest of the attendees are Spanish speaking and they had their own meeting.)  After going through all the options and talking through my thinking and bottom line - coverage with more money in my paycheck - I decided on a High Deductible plan.  That way I pay more than half what I have been paying and get a  tax deductible Health Savings Account to put money in which collects interest and rolls over every year.  So instead of paying Kaiser for a level of care we rarely use, I am paying myself in case there is a catastrophic event.  I can't wait to see my paychecks in January!

WALK A MILE

In line at the grocery store the other day I heard part of the conversation between the checker and the guy in front of me.  He was a fit  young man in his 30's and they were discussing his work as a trainer and that some of his clients were police and fire fighters.  She, a trim 40 something woman, said her son works at the Marine Corp Recruitment Station with the recruits which don't meet the fitness guidelines.  She said he had complained to her that some of them "couldn't run a mile without puking."  They made noises of disgust ans she said "there is no excuse for that."  He agreed and then left.

I wondered if she felt a bit uncomfortable to see me next in line - large and unfit as I am..  She certainly was not chatty as she usually is.  I left without saying anything.

But this is what has been going through my head:  Walk a mile in the shoes of those of us who do struggle with our weight, with overeating, with the things that may lead us to overeat.  I am not one to attach addiction status to each overweight person - but I do attach a reason, physical, psychological, emotional or learned behavior.

Just last night I had eaten my  dinner of whole wheat pasta with spinach and walnuts and some wonderful watermelon.  I was full.  I could feel the food in my stomach for some time after I ate, yet I wanted more to eat.  It was quiet at work, I was bored.  I finished the book I brought to read and I felt restless and I wanted to eat. 

Hungry?  No, I was full.  Hungry for food?  Yes, eating would occupy me, sooth me, .  Did I eat?  No, because I am learning to be more mindful about what my "hunger pangs" are about and find other things to divert myself, redirect the feelings.  I will say that there have been times in my life when I had feelings akin to panic attacks which seemed to be resolved by eating something.  Times I thought I would fall to pieces without eating something.  Of course, in reality that wouldn't happen - but the feeling is real, too.

So that is what it is like in my shoes at times.  Hard to fathom?  I don't get smoking or drinking beer or being Catholic or enjoying boxing.  I don't get the need to be mean, I don't know why people fear mice or bugs, why people can't eat meat or like rides at the fair that make them dizzy.  We are all different in our tastes and reactions and beliefs and the things we need.

And the other thing - those young recruits?  Those kids are probably away from home for the first time.  Away from  family and friends and the safety and comfort they inspire.  They also, many of them, come from schools that  didn't offer much in the way of physical education and come from neighborhoods which were not especially safe to run and play in.  There were probably not many pools or tennis courts or baseball fields where they came from - not to mention organized leagues and coaches to teach them.  So those recruits who are out of shape and maybe overeating?  Perhaps some counseling or a little compassion would go a long way. 

Okay - getting off my soapbox now. 

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.) Had my birthday this week.  Ally took me to breakfast and my sister took me to lunch so I couldn't kvetch much about making dinner - though Ally was incensed that Tom wasn't interested in taking me out!  The waiter at il Fornaio where we had lunch brought some ice cream with a candle.  I won't say what I wished for...but you can't win if you don't buy a ticket.  And yeah, someone else is going to have to wish for world peace...

2.)  Ally and I were talking about healthy foods and she told me that a girl in one of her classes was going on one day about how much she liked brown rice.  Ally said "Really?" to the girl (I have never been able to get her to eat it) and the girl said "Oh, yeah, I always order it when we get Chinese food."  Ally suggested that maybe she was talking about fried rice?  The girl said "It might be fried but it's brown."  Ally continues to be amazed by the cluelessness of her classmates...

3.)  I was looking through some Etsy gift Guides for some stocking stuffer ideas for Tom and Zac.  Men are so hard to buy little sticking stuffers for, compared to girls anyway.  Most of the stuff featured was way too metrosexual or hipster or expensive.  Then I found  this list "What He Would Like for Christmas."  Since the women wearing the lingerie don't come with it - I'm not sure my guys would appreciate it!  But a lot of it would certainly be small enough for a stocking stuffer.

4.)  Again I am working a job which takes me out of the house during the dinner hours.  My husband tends to fall apart if hot food isn't served on a plate to him each night.  Even though I leave instructions about what is in the frig to eat, he will make a sandwich or eat cold things directly out of the containers rather than go to the trouble of heating it and putting it on a plate.

 Last night I made his favorite Goulash in the crock pot.  I cooked the noodles and left them on the stove with instructions on how to warm them and serve up his dinner (Ally was working, too.)  I got home at 11:15 pm and the crock pot was still on - the goulash simmering away.  I guess I need to leave instructions about how to turn off the appliances and put the leftovers away, too.  Geez.

THE FOREVER SANDWICH

Just when you thought we were all getting the messages about healthy, fresh foods comes the Candwich!

Yes, a sandwich in a can. It has a "long shelf life" and requires no refrigeration which makes it perfect for emergency food storage in case of natural disaster! Also great for soccer moms and outdoor enthusiasts!

Can you imagine your kids popping open one of these canned PB&J sandwiches at school? Your husband prying out the BBQ Chicken Sandwich at his desk?

Can you imagine the preservatives in play to keep those things from going bad?

BOOK CLUB - MY TURN

I hosted book club last week. Which required me to clean my house with more attention to detail than usual. I mean, it just gets dirty again, right?

So I hauled in the step stool, climbed up and cleaned the glass shelves, washed some of the windows and went after all the cob webs - what is it about Spring and spiders? No sooner do I knock down the webs than more are spun...

I stopped at a farm stand on the way home from Montery and bought a flat of strawberries, so I made chocolate dipped strawberries to serve. The berries were huge! I piled them on a cake stand - they looked amazing! I ate one. I had more than enough to serve each member a Strawberry Bellini when they arrived.

I also made asparagus with thinly sliced ham rolled around them, and roasted for about 15 minutes. Very tasty and low cal. I had some hummus with pita chips and veggies and little pumpernickel bread pieces with dilled cream cheese and a slice of smoked salmon.

The food was a hit - the book, not so much. I had chosen "The Little Giant of Aberdeen County" because the writing had been compared with that of Alice Hoffman, one of my favorite writers. The book was okay. Next time I will pick a book I have read, like "Little Bee" which was very touching and sad.

This month we are reading "Look Again" by a Penn grad who teaches at the Law School. Appropriate for my trip there!

JUST A TASTE

The headline of the day:

The study, published in the Nature Neuroscience journal, found that when rats consumed a lot of high-fat, high-calorie food, it led to compulsive eating habits - similar to a drug addiction.

Another study that could have saved money by just asking me...or any number of overweight people.

I am sure this story is getting a lot of attention so I will not go through the details, but I will add my experience. Some of us can't eat "what we want" in moderation. My husband is always after me when I turn down foods: "Just have a little", "a bite won't hurt you."

Well, some people can have a little and then move on to the healthy alternatives. Me? When I am off the sugar, the high fat, the rich foods - I need to stay off. One taste and I am drawn back in like an alcoholic back to the bottle, like an addict back to the needle.

My friends and family frequently comment on my will power. Yes. I can be very strong minded when I am off the stuff. But don't ask me to to have just a taste. It is torture. It is why I have spent most of my life fat.

MOTHER DAUGHTER ROAD TRIP!

Our excellent adventure to the Napa Valley started out on a rainy day.

By the time we got to the Valley, the rain stopped but it was gray and cold.

We went straight to our fancy lunch in Yountville.

For those who know the French Laundry - no, we did not eat there. But we did have a very elegant lunch at a place called Redd down the road. Maggie has become a "foodie" and was very choosy about our dining destinations.

We proceeded down the road to the Opus One winery. We had a reservation for their tour and tasting. Maggie wants to learn more about wine - so why not start at the top end of the line?

Toward the end of the tour, we came out to find - the sun!

We also visited Cakebread Cellers and Mondavi and bought a few bottles to take home.

We drove further up the road to Calistoga, and checked in to the famous Dr. Wilkinson's Hotel to sober up rest up before our dinner reservation.

We dined and drank wine at Market in St. Helena. We sat at our table for about 3 hours and had a wonderful evening.

Tomorrow - we try the mud!