MY NEW JOB

My husband Tom is an attorney. He has a "solo" practice in employment law, representing employees. After 20 years working in the corporate environment ("for the man") he decided it was time to actually practice law which is what he went to school to do.

In the past 6 years he has created a successful marketing routine, but finds it time consuming - taking time away from his billable work. Since I have recently come onto the job market - it seemed a natural for me to take over the marketing, and in time, the screening of potential clients. I can do this part-time from home. Cool.

I have been learning about Google Adwords, an advertising scheme created to confuse and confound it's potential users. It is meant to drive potential clients to his website. He also uses Craig's List with success and a service which connects people to attorneys.

In the past couple of weeks I have mentioned to a few people that I had quit my job. That news gets reactions in, as the current vernacular goes, these troubled times. Tom's practice is not being bombarded by clients with complaints against their employers, but it is a good time to be able to help people who are not being treated fairly - and it will keep me off the rolls of the unemployed, too.

PROMPT TUESDAY

I have not done a Prompt Tuesday as created by Sandiegomomma in a while...today's prompt:

Start a story with the sentence, “It was a dark and stormy night.“

Why? Because it is.

Try to write your entry in 10 minutes. This encourages top-of-mind, primal thinking before the ego and judgmental brain kick in. Just set a timer, make your kid count to 600 slowly, whatever. It’s an honor system. And I trust you.
Aim for 250 words or less.
Please have fun. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Together, let’s rediscover the simple joy in the writing process.
Post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.

It was a dark and stormy night. The rain flooding the gutter, making it too wide to leap to dryer pavement. Wading through the only option.

All I can think of is the new pair of green suede shoes I want to wear.

This is the view I contemplated for the last 4 days as I was lazing around in Palm Desert. I finally went down to spend some time with my parents who have retired to this amazingly beautiful community.


It was cooler than normal for February, but the sun was warm and I enjoyed sitting on the patio with a book in between my outings with the folks. I also took advantage of the gyms and took note of the pools and restaurants for future visits.

My mom and I spent some time shopping and I visited a couple of art galleries. We had an enjoyable lunch outdoors on the patio at Augusta Restaurant - including harp music!


The whole area has exploded since I occasionally took a weekend trip to Palm Springs when I was in college in San Diego. The resort communities run for blocks, each surrounded by shopping and services. My mom and I took a trip to the shopping center in the golf cart - not a bad way to make a little jaunt to the store!

I came home to a rainy weekend - not that I am complaining since we really need the rain in Northern California.

Now to work in my new job!

THE LURKING SHADOW

I worked for a few years with a woman who was earning her degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She wrote her dissertation on the Jungian theory of the Shadow Self. I had the opportunity to read only part of the paper, but we discussed the topic a few times and have read a bit on the subject. I understand the Shadow Self to be part of each person's psychological makeup. It is the part of ourselves we repress and deny. It is the dark side of our human nature.

Jung believed that we had to acknowledge and accept the shadow side as part of the whole of ourselves. Sometimes the overreacting to a person or situation is due to things you recognise in yourself that you don't like. They are outside your awareness and can be quite opposite of what you believe about yourself.

I have been told that I sometimes speak to people with a certain "tone" in my voice - that my words and the way I say them don't match. I don't hear it - I don't realize it unless it is pointed out - but more often people do not point it out, they are simply disturbed by it. This is apparently part of what broke down my relationships with some of my co-workers. I know I need to become more mindful of my emotions in order to remove this broadcasting of negative feelings. Not to hide them, but to be more direct in my communication.

I have searched my self and find that the issues I had were not with the individuals I worked with, but the frustration of not being able to do the work which satisfied me, that feed my ego. My frustration was coming out in my communication with people.

Those who know and love us, accept the good and bad. The dark and the light. Those who are irritated or repulsed by us are projecting onto us parts of themselves that they disown, that they deny. They will usually not identify with the projected quality or characteristic at all. It will be all about you - not them.

As things broke down at work, my co-worker became extremely sweet and nice to everyone but me. To me she was curt, dismissive and judgmental. Her niceness to others is a mask. And as Jung put it “Whatever one does not live, lives against one.”

LESS STRESS

I recently posted about missing my estrogen after watching an Oprah show which described many feelings I was having as they relate to menopause. As Nan suggested in her comment, in reality, there are many reasons a woman of my age may have these feelings.

I will post in the future about what has been going on - but after just two days of leaving my job, I feel much better, lighter, happier. I really think I was experiencing more stress than I realized. It's one of those "frog in the pot" things. When the water slowly comes to a boil, the frog never notices he is being cooked.

Stress can affect us emotionally, physically and even shape behavior. I have been experiencing sleep disturbances, fatigue, overeating and mood changes which were more dramatic than I have experienced since my kids were very young. Back then, when I would be having a particularly bad PMS month, I would sometimes find myself in a tirade at my kids. I would realize I was reacting way out of proportion of whatever was going on. I could stop myself and step back and regroup.

When I lost control of myself at work one afternoon, I see now that it was a collision of stress and panic - something completely out of the norm for me. Unfortunately, my audience was not as forgiving as my children were back in the day. I could joke with them about the appearance of "crazy mommy" and we would go forward. No so with my co-worker.

I have taken myself to the gym and had some good work outs, my blood pressure is actually fairly low compared to previous readings. I believe that these things are helping me to move into my new unemployed status in better shape than I have been in a long time.

SENT BY MY SON

LOST THAT BLOGGING FEELING

It isn't just that I've lost that blogging feeling. I think I have lost my gusto. I hate to always go to the hormone/menopause place, but it appears to be the culprit for my malaise. After 10 years of hormonal ebbs and flows: hot flashes, insomnia, 13-20 day cycles, memory loss, moodiness, diminished sex drive and weight gain, it is now 14 months since my last period.

So where is the menopausal zest Margaret Meade?? I feel tired, unmotivated, sad and so even tempered you would think I was drugged - oh, except for the day at work when I went berserk.

I was told about 13 years ago that I should not take HRT for fear of aggravating a neurological issue I have - or had. Who knows after so many years if a "diagnosis of exclusion" is still present? I watched the Oprah show about bioidenticals and I am going to see if that is anything my doc can help with. I don't hold out to much hope because Kaiser is not exactly cutting edge.

It was irritating to watch Oprah and her wealthy guest discuss the issues when it came to dealing with doctors who tell you everything is "normal" by changing doctors until you find one who will work with you. Yeah, right. If you are insured at all, the likelihood that you can change doctors is slim to none. When you can afford to shop around, travel to wherever the specialists are and pay cash for your treatment and drugs - it is much more simple to solve your problems.

Complaining doesn't seem to help - so I'll look for new topics for my next posts...

PROUD BOOKWORM

I tagged myself after reading Lisa's post of this meme:

So the point of this bookworm honor is to do the following: pass it on to five other bloggers, and tell them to open the nearest book to page 46. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences.

I happen to have a stack of books within reach (I usually do) so I will take from the top the one I just started today. The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman.

Page 46, sentence 5:

From the terrace they saw Polish soldiers sprinting in all directions - down the streets, over lawns, even into the zoo - erecting balloon barriers, aligning anti -aircraft guns and piling long black cannon shells tapered at one end like animal droppings.

The zoo animals seemed unaware of danger. Small fires didn't scare them - for years they had trusted the sight of household bonfires - but they grew alarmed by the sudden flood of soldiers because the only people they'd ever seen in early morning were the dozen or so blue-uniformed keepers, usually with food.The lynxes began gargling sound a sound between roar and meow, the leopards chug-chugged low notes, the chimpanzees yipped, the bears brayed like donkeys, and the jaguar sounded as though it were hacking up something lodged in its throat.

I will tag Susan at Slice of Life because she has taken a break from blogging and maybe this will help her to get going again. Jenn from Juggling Life because she is a reader, I can tell. Jen from Jen on the Edge in hopes she has not packed all the books yet. And since this has been making its way around, I am only doing 3 tags.

SUNDAY SUPPER

This is from the Food Network website, my first time making it. It got the thumbs up all around!

Chicken Piccata Pasta

2 T olive oil
1 lb chicken (cut into 1 inch pieces)
S & P
1 1/2 T butter
4 cloves garlic, chopped
2 shallots, chopped
2 T flour
1/2 cup white wine
1 lemon, juiced
1 cup chicken broth
3 T capers, drained
1/2 cups parsley, chopped
3/4 lb penne pasta, cooked al dente

Heat a deep non-stick skillet on stove to medium high heat. Add a tablespoon of oil and the chicken, Season with S & P. Brown chicken about 6 minutes. Remove from pan and return the skillet to the heat.

Reduce heat to medium, add another tablespoon of oil and 1 tablespoon of butter, the garlic and shallots. Saute 3 minutes, add the flour and cook 2 minutes. Whisk in wine and reduce liquid 1 minute, add lemon juice and broth. Stir in caper and parsley, when sauce comes to a boil, blend in remaining butter to add shine. Add chicken back to pan and heat through, about 3 minutes. Toss hot pasta with chicken and sauce and serve.

January 20, 2009

In 1976 I was a senior in college and I was an intern in Washington DC. I was sent by my school to work in the DC offices of the California State University and Colleges System. It was an amazing experience. I arrived there a couple of weeks before Jimmy Carter was inaugurated. I strolled down to the parade route and watched them go by.

It was nothing like what I saw today on TV. The crowds of people today were momentous. It was wonderful to see so many happy, hopeful people. People with excitement and pride to witness such a historical event.

I heard that Beyonce sang "At Last" at one of the inaugural balls - so fitting. At last Bush and his cohorts are gone. At last we can begin to rebuild this country spiritually, morally and financially. At last, as pointed out on All The Good Names Were Taken, I can stop pretending I am Canadian.