STILL HERE

When these dour moods descend on me I alternately fight and succumb.  My mood lifts for several days and

plunges again.  The voice in my head says "snap out of it!" and I am very aware I have so little to complain about.  But comparing ourselves to others doesn't resolve our own feelings and sometimes I think we just need to lay low and let things percolate and purify.

I realize that the post holiday let down is a matter of riding on a high of activity and family and when it is over I am simply tired.  With work it has been a long 3 months of carrying the load of  3 jobs all on my own and now with my co-worker back I can let myself slump in my seat and feel the stress of it. ( I also feel the lack of compensation for it - but that is another matter.)

Then the little things seem to pile on - the loss my bracelet that I have worn daily for nearly 20 years feels like a slap by the universe.  I am sure someone found it and recognized it's value (an early David Yurman piece) and chose not to turn it in.  That adds to the misery of it for some reason.

Stupid things like dropping a container of yogurt, spattering my clothes as I was about to leave for work.  Hitting all the red lights. Not being able to find the bath gel I like in any of the 5 stores I visited. The hot water heater breaking and the landlords, once again, not answering calls and e-mails.  All ordinary things, yet of late seem to be flung at my head in a cosmic game of dodge ball.

So, still here.  Still whining. Still have nothing interesting to say. Maybe next week I'll manage to read something interesting and think of something new to say and find the bright side again.