I have not experienced grief in a go to bed for days, weepy, can't cope way. I moved into the what needs to be done zone and stayed there for weeks - to the point that I wondered what was wrong with me. Am I normal? I loved my husband, he died. Shouldn't I fall apart at least a little bit?
Then a cascade of problems started to set in - and I found I was fine putting out fires but unable to cope with simple things. A notice from the bank that required me to change my log-in just threw me - I couldn't think of something new. The woman on the phone nicely came up with something until I could think straight. A CPA I called for advice told me what killed him probably was the financial stress he was under and I hung up on her but was so shaken up I didn't make phone calls for days. Paperwork for the new bank account I opened had to be corrected because I put in that I was married.
Driving through the city where we used to live brought on tears. Seeing people out on their bikes brought waves of memories. Passing by things I used to buy for him at the store made me sadder than planning meals for one.
After moving to a new state, I have not had many of those moments, until today. I went to donate
I had strong mixed emotions all day. The loss. The life sustaining gift we can give.