GOODBYE TO HILDA

This morning I was with Hilda when she was put to sleep. I have never done that before and had no idea of what to expect of myself or of her.  I am writing about this because I want to tell what it was like for me in case someone is contemplating it and unsure what to expect.

She has been deaf for some time, increasingly blind, very stiff, with loss of control of her hind legs and sometimes her front legs, her weight has fallen quite low and she has become pretty incontinent. Mostly what is worrisome is her anxiety.  She paces and sniffs obsessively, she has been barking and howling when we aren't home.

I made the appointment with the vet to consider prescription anti-anxiety meds.  But last night it came to me that I was doing the wrong thing.  It was time to let her go, not to turn her into a little zombie. Tom and I talked a long time about it.  I called the vet this morning to tell them of the changed reason for my appointment.

I made her eggs and bacon for breakfast and, even though she didn't like it much, I brushed her before we went. She didn't even register the big dog in the waiting room with us before we went into the exam room.  today was the longest she has let me hold her in over a year.  She was very stiff in my arms, looking warily around the room.  I verified the plan with our vet, a very kind man with dachshunds, too.  He came in with the sedative and said he would be back in about 5 minutes.

The strangest thing happened then.  Hilda went from being stiff in my arms to licking my face, leaning back, leaning forward, looking at me and licking me again.  She did this over and over as I felt her body relaxing in my arms.  She looked me in the eyes again and I saw her old self, she licked my face and settled with her head on my shoulder and fell into a completely relaxed state.  It has been so long since she has slept on me that way - this dog who loved to be in the lap of anyone sitting down.  It made me smile to think of her so much like she was and I was smiling when the doctor came back into the room.

The next step was to lay her on the table and administer the drug to stop her heart, it only took the briefest of moments and I knew that I had made the right decision.  It was so peaceful. Just what a sweet little dog like her deserved.

HILDA AND THE BEACH

We heard it was going to be sunny and 70 degrees on the coast this weekend - yes, in January - so we packed a picnic and went to Monterey.  We even took the dog.  In a way, we planned it for the dog.

Hilda is really showing her age, she is sleeping more and more, she is jumpy and nervous and unsteady in her feet.  She was always tail wagging happy and very puppy-like until a couple of years ago, so it is hard to see her personality so diminshed. 




We can see that her eyes are clouding over and realized about a year ago that she can't hear.  She still gets excited about going places with us, but we see that she is frightened when she is out - probably overwhelmed by what she can't see and hear.

But we wanted to have an outing and take her along.  She was great in the car, we brought her little bed and she sat and looked out the window all the way there.  Once her little paws hit the sand she was not so sure of things.  He dachshund nose was sniffing away, but she was not as intrigued with the sealife strewn over the sand as we thought she would be.  Once the blanket was spread, she was much happier.

We walked her down to the water, thinking she might get excited and run in as she did in the past, but she was tail-tucked and looking back to the blanket so we made it a quick walk.


For the 3 hours or so we were there she never relaxed. 

She did enjoy the picnic.

After Tom had a nice nap, we packed up and headed home with our little old lady.  She slept almost all the way home - when we drove up over the Sunol grade and down into our valley she smelled home, perked up and sat looking out the window the rest of the way.

DOGGIE LOVE

When we  were putting ornaments on the tree we put one for our dear little dachshund, Hilda right up front and center.  I think Hilda being 14 and a bit blind and deaf makes us all the more aware that our years with her are getting limited.

This summer we had to get rid of the area rug we had in our living room because she spent last winter using it when she didn't wait to go out to the yard and when the grass in the yard was wet and she didn't want to walk on, much less squat in, wet grass.  Believe me, I tried everything to dissuade her from that practice and to clean up after those episodes.  I really liked that rug. 

Once the rug was gone, she could no longer get enough "purchase" on the floor to jump up onto the furniture.  Which is fine,  better for her back, actually.  Except that we have never forbidden the furniture so when we were around she is constantly pestering us to pick her up, then she jumps down and wants back up, then jumps down and on and on.  We have grown tired of this.  So I have been looking for a solution, other than those cheesy, yet expensive, carpeted steps they sell for pets.

I ended up, at least for the time being, with a cat scratcher thingy.  It is the perfect size ramp for Hilda.  She climbs up and onto the ottoman and then can choose whichever seat she wants.  Usually the one most recently vacated by someone and therefore pre-warmed.

And speaking of pre-warmed, the bed there in the photo?  It has a heating pad under it which is switched on all winter...Spoiled?  Not our doggie.

THE LONG NIGHT

Last night at work it was like the pet apocalypse.  We had one case after another come in the door with life threatening problems.  I would up staying until 4 am because it was just so busy at 1 when I usually leave that I just had to stay and help. 

I am learning a great deal about what kinds of things pets can get into which are toxic.  Rat poison is obvious, but did you know that untreated the animal may seem fine for a week or so and then start bleeding internally?  Yikes.  The other new one last night was black walnuts, especially if they are in the husk and moldy.  This time of year the squirrels are carrying them around and storing them for the winter - if they choose your yard and your dog tries to eat one, it can be cause tremors and seizures.  And did you know that Xylitol the artificial sweetener used in gum and candy is very toxic for pets?

The Costco sized bag of Halloween candy consumed by one dog was a sight to see when it (er) came back up with the help of the vet!  A gorgeous standard poodle ate so many cookies that she, too, needed help getting rid of them...'tis the season, I guess.

We had 3 dogs came in which could not be saved, that it so sad to go through with the families, especially the old dogs that have been part of the family for so many years.  Cats, too.  We had one come in that was 22 years old!

Some people had to wait a long time with their less seriously ill pets, with so many critical pets coming in the door (which everyone can, of course, see)  they were so patient and understanding.  I really appreciated that.  Late last week I had my first really obnoxious client.  She was rude and abusive, demanding and selfish.  I was very disappointed to hear her say something about being a teacher.  With people like that you wish you could expose them, but...that's not for me to do.

Thank goodness my dog has been so healthy all these years;  now I see how many thing could have gone wrong.  And oh, how I wish I could nap.  I woke up 5 hours after I went to sleep!

MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY

In my new job one of the things I am getting accustomed to is all the different terms for things.  The software we use for adding new files refers to the people as the client and the pet as the patient.  When we refer to the pets and the people in person we tend to refer to them in terms of family - the people are the parents of the pet.  We will say "Fluffy's mom is here to pick her up."  No one seems to mind this label.

So it is not surprising that 30% of Americans actually count pets as part of the family when polled.  The very sad thing is that only 40% of Americans think a gay couple are a family.

New research on the topic how a family is defined is contained in a book-length study, "Counted Out: Same-Sex Relations and Americans' Definition of Family" and in a separate 2010 survey overseen by the book's lead author, Indiana University sociologist Brian Powell.

Only about one-third of those surveyed said they considered same-sex couples without children to be a family. And in 2006, when asked if gay couples and pets count as family, 30 percent said pets count but not gay couples.

"The sheer idea that gay couples are given less status than pets should give us pause," Powell said in an interview.  (At least the gays have come up in the polls by 10%  since 2006 - good job America...)

In the 2010 survey, 83 percent of the respondents said they perceived unmarried heterosexual couples with children as a family; only 40 percent extended that recognition to unmarried straight couples without children.

The problems with this isn't really just about bigotry - there are real life altering issues for people which flow from attitudes about what makes a family.  Among other matters, it affects  income tax filings, adoption and foster care practices, employee benefits and inheritance rights. 

I think of all those kids out there waiting for a good foster home; waiting for an adoptive mom or dad and the attitudes of people stuck in "Ozzie and Harriet"  mindsets which are denying them the warmth and safety of those family bonds. 

We really need to get over ourselves and let everyone open up their homes and hearts to the kids out there, just as we encourage people to open their homes and hearts to all the little animals out there.  There are all kinds of families and all kinds of family members.

OUR LITTLE CRIMINAL

We have a court date set for July 21. I am collecting statements from witnesses and researching cases to see what sort of a defense I can mount for my client. Her name is Brunhilda, Hilda for short. She has been a member of our family for 13 years which makes her 91 years old in her kind of years - that would be dog years.

She has now been complained against 3 times for barking by the neighbor who lives in the house behind us. He has never come over to speak with us or left a note. We don't know his name or what he looks like. The first complaint came when we were out of town and we just thought it was a mistake, wrong house. Hilda was inside, asleep.

There is a house two doors down with 3 chihuahuas and those dogs bark a lot. I had just gone over to talk to the owners and other neighbors have called the police to complain about them. Then, in rapid fire, we got two more complaints about our dog barking. That even though she was inside our house with windows closed, she was disturbing this neighbor. The officer who came to the house was very apologetic, he said that the neighbor insisted that he write a citation for a misdemeanor (with a fine of $100.00) which is his right after 3 incidents.

The officer said we should dispute the citation and we would probably have the fine waived. He did not hear the dog barking and will be at the "hearing" and testify to that effect. In the meantime, we have made some changes with Hilda. I read that some older dogs do start going through separation anxiety and that she very well may have been barking when we have been out of the house. She doesn't see and hear as well as she used to and can contribute to her anxiety when she is alone.

We have started putting her back into her crate in the front room of the house when we leave. After a few times she calmed down and settled in without barking. I have also been taking her on more walks and out and about with me when I can so she has more stimulation.

If the neighbor had just talked to us or left a note I would have take this all more seriously from the very beginning. It is hard to know what to think when you have not witnessed the behaviour someone is complaining about, so we just thought it was a mistake or retribution for the complaint against his neighbor.

We have always been very careful of Hilda's behaviour when she is outside, who knew that if someones hearing was good enough and their tolerance low enough, that you had to be careful of the dog's behaviour inside, too? The ordinance doesn't indicate how loud the barking has to be, just that it is disturbing "any reasonable person's peace and quiet." Nice and vague. Let's hope the Judge is an animal lover!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.) A general observation I have for businesses: You need to hire more people. The amount of bad will and negativity that is building up in your customer base is becoming insurmountable. Loosen up those payrolls and put enough people out there to reduce waiting times in line, on hold and for returned calls and paperwork.

It was really ridiculous to see one agent at the Delta counter trying to juggle seat assignments for a dozen standby passengers, announcements, scanning boarding passes for passengers being loaded onto the plane by zones while determining if their luggage would fit the extra small overhead compartments and tagging the over sized ones to be checked. She was frazzled, the customers were irritated and the whole boarding process took over 45 minutes for a small plane.

IT'S TIME TO START HIRING! The financial problems do not lie in the number of employees you have actually serving your customers.

2.) Speaking of jobs. All 3 of my children have become employed. My 16 year old will be earning $10.00 an hour which is what many of the jobs I have been applying for are offering - it is so sad. I am still buying lottery tickets.

3.) We hired a pet sitter for our 13 year old, somewhat blind and deaf, 7 pound mini-dachshund, Hilda, during our recent 4 day trip. We told the neighbors. Apparently, one of them called the police to complain that the dog was barking, in the house, at 11 pm on Monday night. We came home to a citation. Fortunately a "Courtesy Citation."

4.) We have discovered that our youngest daughter (a high school junior) is a lot more up in the air about her college preferences than we thought. She has been firm in her desire to attend a small to medium school in a moderately sized town. She wants a relationship with her professors and the feel of a campus community. However, she, fell in love with Philadelphia this week.

Penn is out of the question..but what about Drexel? Maggie's boyfriend just graduated from there and took her on a tour, she liked the campus, she has the admission requirements...and her big sister will be living in Philly for the time being...but once we were home we took the time to look at the Drexel website, and it is not a good fit academically. Ally doesn't really know what she wants to study and Drexel is designed for kids who are very focused going in.

So, how do we go about continuing to expose Ally to a variety of colleges that will keep her excited and help her find her direction? Any suggestions?

5.) We are a family of bike riders. My husband and two older kids ride a great deal, including on city streets. We frequently debate on the ins and outs of safe riding. Maggie rides her bike down the middle of the street to avoid car doors being opened. After reading about this fatal accident, I think she has the right idea.

On a city street in Oakland, a bike rider was knocked into/under a city bus when a woman opened her car door into him. He was killed. She continued on to her hair appointment. Yes, it was an "accident." It aways seems that the victims in these accidents are the dead and maimed bike riders who are following the rules and the people who cause the accidents are the hurried, careless ones wielding tons of steel.

As the weather improves and schools let out, please take the extra moment of time too look around you, check your mirrors and make sure that there is not a person on a bike in your path.