Tuesday, October 12, 2010

WORK, WORK, WORK

I only work 3 nights a week.  I have pretty much the whole day before I go to work to get things done.  In reality, I am only up working about 3 hours more than I would have been up watching TV or reading at home.

Why does my life feel so different? 

I am more tired.  Getting off work at 1 am does not mean I am asleep by 1:30.  I need time to unwind.  This does not mean that I sleep in every morning, however.  I am not one for sleeping once the sun fills the room.  I close the blinds, but somehow my body knows.  Sleeping until 8:30-9 is the best I can do.  And I can't nap.  Tried all my adult life, just doesn't happen.

I am feeling selfish about my time.  I don't want to spend all day cleaning and taking care of everyone when I know I have to go to work at 4:30.  I want to have some energy for work.  When I used to come home from work I was tired and did stuff for everyone, but then I could drag myself off to bed early.  The other women who have the same job say they sleep all day and do pretty much nothing on workdays.  Compared to them, I do a lot, including making dinner for my husband and daughter before I leave.

Work is hard.  I still have a lot to learn to do my job well.  I have made mistakes big and small.  Sometimes I feel I am not up to the expectations of the company, sometimes I am bored and sit with nothing to do.  Sometimes I really miss my old job.  It is stressful and tiring, and I do realize that it will be easier in time, it already is.

All in all I know I just need to give myself some time to get into the groove and find the right balance of activity and rest.  The work can be very fulfilling - helping people gives me a great deal of pleasure, the staff is caring and professional.  After a year and a half of unemployment, these are not insurmountable problems!

4 comments:

smalltownmom said...

Good luck! It should get easier with time.

Lori R. said...

WOW!!! That does sound life-changing! I would have to nap! I remember my mom telling me when I was young, "It doesn't matter if you fall asleep, just that you rest." Best of luck with this new adventure ♥

jenn said...

I hear you. Changing your daily rhythm to work at night is one of the hardest things to get used to. One of my summer jobs when I was in college involved 7:30 - 1:30 am shifts. Sucked BIG time, and it took me a month and a half to adjust to it. Go easy on yourself!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It's so hard to transition back to working--even part-time. I used to work in the evening and it is just so hard to gear yourself up for it--and I'm a pretty high energy person.

I would look into blackout curtains for your room. We went on a cruise once and I was in a room with no windows--I slept for 14 hours straight because no light woke me up.