This weekend I was sitting poolside with my sister and her daughter. My sister is concerned that her daughter is too heavy. Her daughter seems to be quite comfortable in her body. My youngest daughter is heavier than I think she should be, too. I struggle with talking to her about it. What must it sound like to have an obese mom talk to you about your tummy? I worry because I don't want her to go down my road, she worries because she is okay with how she looks - is that bad?
There are girls trying to be super thin and also girls getting to be fat. The fat girls, because there are so many more of them than there were in the past, aren't getting quite as stigmatized. They call themselves curvy which suggests they have chosen their look just as the skinny girls have.
This morning I heard about a study in the UK that 7 out of 8 women didn't feel attractive. How sad is that? I know that at my advance age and size I feel past being attractive, but I still have my days. So when I think of all those young women out there not feeling pretty, it just makes me feel sad.
There is something so wonderful about that feeling of being attractive - feeling young and alive that I still remember. It gives a glow. It is really about happiness. If women are happy, it doesn't matter what their physical appearance is; how symmetrical their features, how big their bust or slim their hips.
So that is the answer - not to take away our daughter's happiness with themselves. Offer them the opportunities to make healthy choices and love them and nurture their happiness and beauty.
2 comments:
I don't think there are many overweight people walking around who aren't aware of the fact they are overweight, the health problems that can arise over time or healthier choices they could make, so I'm in the camp of dealing with my own shit and keeping my mouth shut about anyone else's figure. I admire women who are confident. If you're fat, you're fat...why not feel good about yourself because maybe you'll lose the weight and maybe you won't. Happiness and confidence are things to strive for. My weight has bothered me most in the last two years because I am starting to feel the PHYSICAL effects--sore knees, huffing after a long walk, fear of diabetes. I feel like I'm at the place where I choose health or just accept what comes my way without whining or complaint. I didn't mean to write a post here. Anyway, body image is some tricky shit. Thanks for making me think.
I have had the experience recently of being made to feel VERY attractive--and you're right, there is nothing like it.
I have to say that I am in the camp of not saying one single word to your daughter about her looks. I wish I could take back having told my very tall, fit daughter that she had an amazing body in a "Michelle Obama" way--she did not see that in the same positive light I did.
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