THE LABELS WE ACCEPT

18-year-old college freshman Rosea Lake chose to display the labels so commonly attached to women based on appearance, on a young woman's legs in a photo that has  gone viral.

Lake, who studies graphic design and illustration at Capilano University in Vancouver, never thought she'd become an Internet sensation when she posted her "Judgments" photo project to Tumblr on January 5th.  Horizontal lines are drawn up the leg, reflecting various skirt lengths, and next to each line is a description. Lake labelled the longest skirt length "matronly" and the shortest "whore." 

It is interesting to me that the descriptions are negative both at the top and at the bottom -  what woman wants to be considered prudish or matronly any more than they want to be considered a whore?

LITTLE BOYS LOST

Fox news has joined in on the junk science of the "war on men" in an article by one of those odd women like Phyllis Schaflay who want to protect women from losing their rights to be "dependent housewives" while themselves being working professional women.

Statistics have been floating around about more women than men pursuing higher education, young women enjoying "higher levels of success" than young men and fewer men valuing marriage and family as much as women.  The reason, according to Fox News writer Suzanne Venker, isn't that the achievements of women have made men less valued:

 It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.

Okey dokey. 

On a personal note - I say "I'll let you!!  I will give up my dead end boring stupid job that I do so our family can have medical benefits!!  Provide for me!  Protect me! I'm all in."

Got that out of my system.

I am not one of those modern women of which she speaks, I know she is speaking  of young women who have managed in ONE generation to twist male DNA into shreds due to efforts to educate themselves and be economically and socially independent.  I suppose my generation started it by saying to our daughters: You can be anything you want when you grow up you just have to get a good education and work hard.  And when it comes to having a family, well, there are going to be hard choices to make.

Wow - who knew how powerful we were? We wanted our daughters to be able to support themselves in case they didn't marry or theirs was one of the 50% of marriages which ended in divorce - and BOOM we changed men from loving, protective providers to slackers.

I can't wait for all the lovely women in their 20's and 30's to just quit their jobs, buy some cookbooks and dusting cloths and through the power of "surrendering to their femininity" magically turn all those gamer guys into productive members of the working class ready with a ring.  Paying rent in the meantime may be an issue - but hey, anything to help the guys find their way back to their true nature...

STILL BATTLING FOR RESPECT - INTL WOMEN'S DAY

An editorial from the Sunday NY Times stuck with me.  When States  Abuse Women by columnist Nickolas Kristof  draws the obvious comparison between non-consensual penetration and the new ultrasound requirements for abortions. A Texas doctor commented for the article:

 “It’s state-sanctioned abuse,” said Dr. Curtis Boyd, a Texas physician who provides abortions. “It borders on a definition of rape. Many states describe rape as putting any object into an orifice against a person’s will. Well, that’s what this is. A woman is coerced to do this, just as I’m coerced.”

“The state of Texas is waging war on women and their families,” Dr. Boyd added. “The new law is demeaning and disrespectful to the women of Texas, and insulting to the doctors and nurses who care for them.”

As women we are required throughout our lives to have our orifices probed and our breasts squeezed in the name of preventative health and child bearing.  I don't think any of us like it, some actually dread and avoid it.  And, as we  know, the majority of men can't even think about their "junk" being handled by a medical professional, much less having it be an annual event.

Which made me wonder what if anything doctors to do before prescribing Viagra? 

Researching this proved difficult.  There are so many pages of links to sites offering free samples, and cheap Viagra without prescriptions that I couldn't find any statistics or even conjecture on how many men just skip the doctor and go straight for the pills.  If they do go the legitimate way, a urologist performs a thorough exam including a digital rectal and penile anatomy exam.  My common sense tells me most men skip that part. 

Just another example of how it is still "a man's world."  It is harder and more expensive to get birth control, it is getting harder to exercise our legal right to abortion.  We still get paid less and find fewer executive spots, seats in congress and other positions of influence.   Religious  institutions are still run by men who have no interest in promoting or championing women, and, it appears, prefer to turn back the clock and make our lives even more restrictive.

I know a lot of people are counting on women to rise up and fight against all these attacks on our freedoms.  I am certainly talking to my daughters about it, my son, too.  But sometimes I feel so discouraged and beaten down.  Why is this happening still?  Again? 

WE DON'T HATE SEX, WE JUST HATE YOUR STUPID MOVIES

Hello?  Women over 25 loved an entire series about sex.

I was reading a Forbes article titled Women Over 25 Don't Like Sex.  That premise is based on the following exchange regarding a new movie called "What's Your Number?"

In the New Yorker piece, Faris and the film’s director, Mark Mylod, watch a scene from the film. In it, Faris’s character declares that she’s a “whore,” and wants someone who will “appreciate that” about her. During a test screening, the audience laughed at the line, but the director remained wary. “Younger women lap up the nudity and sexual humor,” he was quoted as saying. “Women over 25—some are worried by it.”

What most men and Hollywood don't get about women beyond college age is this:  we do not find humor in being called derogatory names.  We do not think being called, or having your characters call themselves, whore or slut or whatever "funny" thing your writers come up with laughable. 

Unlike some of your younger, less experienced audience, we know something about discrimination and don't appreciate the efforts to keep us "in our place" by making our sexual selves the butt of the joke.  And since when do you figure we don't enjoy  nudity?  Oh, maybe because it's pretty much only there to gratify the men in the audience... 

Don't write off women over 25 as being over sex - what we are over is male oriented, juvenile and I'll use the m word, misogynistic "entertainment."

WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?

Apparently someone at JC Penny thought this was a "Fun Tee" for 7-16 year old girls!

They apparently got a lot of flak for it and  have removed it from their catalog. 

However this one is still there:

Do they not have women who work for Penny's?  Or men who have daughters?  Or someone who might, in 2011, for heaven's sake , see that this is a sexist and negative message to send?  Or is everyone out there in retail land out to make sure yet another generation of women grow up thinking their most important attribute is their looks and that intelligence and success is for men.

And all these tee shirts which have been pulled from the website?  Where do you suppose they are going to end up?  I suspect that they will be sold in a Third World Country where the women don't have anyone looking out for their best interests.

A LITTLE LIVE AND LET LIVE, LADIES

I was in Philadelphia with Maggie when she was touring colleges a while back. She had been invited to stay with some of the crew team members in the dorm and I took the opportunity to visit a restaurant which had been recommended, White Dog Cafe.

I ordered a split of wine and what turned out to be a yummy piece of fish. I had a book with me in case I wanted to read at the table, but became engrossed in the conversations at the table for 6 set in front of me. Yes, I was eavesdropping, Actually, I was openly listening and would have joined in if given the opportunity.

They were all in their mid to late 20's. An engaged couple, a married couple a single woman and a single man. The discussions covered their jobs, living arrangements, friends, friends having babies and not liking the names they were given (someone had named their girl Cecelia, a name I considered for Allison. Hey! It was my Grandmother's name. And CeCe for short sounded cute.)

Anyway, I was put in mind of a side conversation between the married woman and the engaged woman about cooking and Rachel Ray came up. Engaged woman said how much she loved RR and had a couple of her cookbooks. Married woman was disapproving of RR. Engaged woman backpedaled a bit and the conversation turned to married woman's job and engaged woman's feelings that maybe she shouldn't have quit her job to play house with engaged man.

That evening was the first time I had heard of RR haters. Apparently there are blogs dedicated to bashing her. I don't exactly follow her every move, but I am aware that she is very open about her lack of training and penchant for short cuts. She doesn't profess to be a "chef", she is a home cook like the vast majority of us. She doesn't profess to be a Martha Stewart, either. Her shows are very down to earth, I suspect her magazine is, too.

I was reading an article on Salon about an interview she did with ABC journalist Cynthia McFadden. McFaddon questioned RR about having children, Ray said something along the lines of I'm 40, I'm busy with work and I like kids but I couldn't be a good mom and keep all my commitments. McFaddon asks her if she thinks she'll miss something. Geez.

When are we women going to stop questioning and judging other women for their choices? And yes, I see this as being a judgement, because why would it be any one's business to ask such a question unless it was to judge? Does anyone ask MEN these questions? And if a young woman decides to leave work and settle down with a young man and cook dinner with a recipe from a Rachel Ray cookbook and she is happy doing it - that is okay, too.

HOT OR NOT

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