I recently posted about missing my estrogen after watching an Oprah show which described many feelings I was having as they relate to menopause. As Nan suggested in her comment, in reality, there are many reasons a woman of my age may have these feelings.
I will post in the future about what has been going on - but after just two days of leaving my job, I feel much better, lighter, happier. I really think I was experiencing more stress than I realized. It's one of those "frog in the pot" things. When the water slowly comes to a boil, the frog never notices he is being cooked.
Stress can affect us emotionally, physically and even shape behavior. I have been experiencing sleep disturbances, fatigue, overeating and mood changes which were more dramatic than I have experienced since my kids were very young. Back then, when I would be having a particularly bad PMS month, I would sometimes find myself in a tirade at my kids. I would realize I was reacting way out of proportion of whatever was going on. I could stop myself and step back and regroup.
When I lost control of myself at work one afternoon, I see now that it was a collision of stress and panic - something completely out of the norm for me. Unfortunately, my audience was not as forgiving as my children were back in the day. I could joke with them about the appearance of "crazy mommy" and we would go forward. No so with my co-worker.
I have taken myself to the gym and had some good work outs, my blood pressure is actually fairly low compared to previous readings. I believe that these things are helping me to move into my new unemployed status in better shape than I have been in a long time.