JEN AND THE EARWORM

Jen on the Edge wrote about a song she heard back on the 70's when she was 5.  In the mid-70's I was in college so my take on the music was a little different - but I do remember the songs she wrote about.

Which led me to think about a meaningful summer song from that decade - the summer of 1970.  I was hanging out with some older kids from my neighborhood that summer - which happened because Jim Boomer lived on my street.  He had a pool table in the garage and it became the hangout. By my proximity, and the lopsided boy-girl ratios, I was invited in.

There was a lot of bad pool playing, driving to Jolly's Burgers to visit the Goetz brothers on the nights they were working, some swimming and a new game we invented called mud frisbee which we played on the high school fields the nights after they watered. Major dirty fun.

One of the guys was new in town and he sort of showed some interest in me.  It was pretty subtle and I was not one for catching on, but Gail, my new BFF was urging me to pay more attention to him.  I remember his name was Tony Pontious and that he had longish red hair.  With just a little encouragement, he did ask me out.  I don't recall what we did - but I do recall it was our only date because I did something he found unforgivable.

That summer this song was big and I really liked it.

Tony bought the 45 for me (okay, I don't want to hear "What is a 45?",  look it up.) He gave it to me when we were over at his house and I was really touched and excited that he gave me a gift.  But when we left - I left it behind.

That was it - he pretty much never talked to me again.

But it was still the best summer of my life.

SUMMER REVERIES

I don't know what it is about summer - it always makes me lose track of my age.  I reflect back to childhood days spent roaming the fields and trolling the creek for frogs.  I think about riding my bike along the narrow road to the swimming pool/mini-golf course; quarters in my pocket and my towel draped around my neck.

When I see the teens out driving around with I think of dangling our arms out the windows into the warm air, the radio playing, trying to decide where to go and what to do.  Feeling restless, wanting a romance.

My mind goes to being a mom - somehow all the years in between when work and getting adult life started don't being summer memories... Days at the swim club with toddlers jumping to me in the shallow end.  Over and over.  Look at me mom!  Packing up so much gear for so many outings.  The beach, the park, the pool. 

Naked kids running through the sprinkler turn into brown bodied kids coming home from camp filthy and spilling over with stories and songs turn into giggly tweens who don't want to be seen with me to teens off to summer jobs and staying out late in the soft summer night.

Tonight the jasmine is filling the house with scent and my thoughts are time traveling.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  I just realized I passed my 400th post this week.  Wow.  I'd say I never knew I had so much to say but that would be a lie!

2.)  Ally's recovery from the tonsillectomy was as dramatic as I expected.  She was on the verge of dehydration for several days, had trouble with the pain medication and was miserable as hell.  She perked up a day before the move to school.  This made packing a nightmare, but so far it appears we got the stuff she needed moved into the dorm.  Her roommate seems to be a very low keyed, vegan,  fellow drama major.  Here's hoping for a good match.

3.)  I closed the doors to Ally's room and bathroom so I don't have to see the mess.  It will have to be tackled.  We have always teased her about being one step away from a hoarder - and now I get to deal with the stuff left behind...  We don't have any immediate plans for taking over her room for another purpose, but I think I may take over her bathroom so I can get ready for bed after work with a light on and without worrying that I might wake Tom. 

4.)  We had hoped that we would be moving from this little rental in the Fall, but the economic downturn has so hurt Tom's practice that we are signing another year lease.  I know this is very discouraging for him - the corporations know they have the upper hand with the government agency staff reductions and the long waits for court dates.  They have the money to drag things out and don't enter settlement discussions like they used to because they figure most employees (and their legal counsel) will run out of money or patience and give up.  Tom has clients he is still working for 2 and 3 years since they last paid him anything.

It is really sad that good people are getting screwed by both the former employer and the system.  The corporations are getting tax cuts and the subsequent staffing reductions usually effect the everyday citizens who need the protection of the government agencies.

5.)  If you enjoyed Laura Hillenbrand's book "Seabiscuit" - you will once again find the writing of her new book "Unbroken" as fantastic.  I am riveted just 70 pages in!  I won't have any trouble finishing this one in the 2 weeks allotted by the library.

6.)  This is my last weekend on the job.  As of next week I am a Monday-Friday worker once again.  So enjoy the weekend and I'll join you next week!

COUNTDOWN TO THE EMPTY NEST

It is August 10th.  In one week I will be moving Ally into her dorm room and driving home to an "empty nest."  I have no illusions that it is permanently empty.  Summers will come, circumstances may cause one of the kids to move home again.  However, it will be the first time Tom and I are living alone since 1987.  Wow.

I don't think I'll feel that sense of loss that some women report.  When I took the older two to college I felt great excitement tempered by some anxiety over their safety and happiness.  I learned that the first semester is the time to remain positive and supportive and to hear their worries with the knowledge that they will ease in further in the next months.  I feel secure about that part of the equation.

I also know that immense stress and conflict entered my marriage along with the joys of parenthood.  Even with date nights and vacations away from the kids, the marriage ends up being far and away about the care, feeding, clothing, social lives, injuries, school activities, dating, grades, happiness, surliness, sports, illnesses, tattoos, fiances, driving, curfews, attitudes, teeth, weight, skin, hair, messiness, computer time, sexuality, coming and going of the kids.

Those topics will still be on the table, and new ones will arise, but they will never again be such a looming presence - once none of them are present day to day.

A small study by the American Psychological Association showed that a majority of parents scored higher on marital satisfaction after children had left home.
Researchers had hypothesized that the improvement in marital happiness came from couples’ spending more time together, but the women in the study reported spending just as much time with their partners whether the children were living at home or had moved out, but the quality of that time was better.

“There are fewer interruptions and less stress when kids are out of the house,” said Dr. Gorchoff. “It wasn’t that they spent more time with each other after the children moved out. It’s the quality of time they spent with each other that improved.”

I am sure that is true.  Without the daily care and negotiations it will be easier to enjoy the time together.  Just as a night out once the kids could take care of themselves was much more enjoyable than those when the babysitter was always on my mind.

We are still years away from being relieved of the financial responsibility of our children, but a week from now, I will be alone with my husband, again.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  As our country heads closer and closer to financial disaster, more facts  and economic realities which the Republican party will ignore are being reported.

Northern Trust's Paul Kasriel:

"I keep hearing that what is holding U.S. businesses back from expanding and hiring is "uncertainty." Exactly what new types of uncertainty businesses face in the current environment vs. past environments is rarely spelled out. But if, in fact, businesses are paralyzed due to uncertainty, I would not expect them to be stepping up their purchases of capital equipment. After all, capital equipment has a relatively long life. If businesses were unusually uncertain about the long-term outlook, they would be more reluctant to make longer-term commitments, which the purchase of capital equipment is. Rather, if businesses were unusually uncertain about the future, they might be more inclined to hire workers, who, after all, can be dismissed on short notice if conditions were to change suddenly.


But just the opposite seems to be happening. Business hiring remains weak and business capital spending is robust.... I would think that if abnormally-high business uncertainty prevailed today, there would have been considerably slower growth in price-adjusted purchases of nondefense capital goods than what has occurred."
 
But like science - the Republican point of view does not accept proven economic facts. And the Democrats are too worried about their jobs to actually fight for them either.
 
2.)  I have mentioned that my sister and I staged a cute little house in Oakland in May,  The man who hired us had 2 interested parties in the first week!    After months of trying, no one interested in buying the house ($205,000.) has been able to get a loan.
 
Isn't it fabulous that we bailed out the banks and kept them in business?
 
3.)  We managed to get a date for Ally to have her tonsils out - a cancellation opened right at the deadline for her to heal before she leaves for school.  Meant to be?
 
4.  I may soon have an opportunity to move to working my 3-11 shift Monday through Friday.  I have been feeling sorry for myself becaue I am missing so many cool events this summer with my weekends spent at work - so that was good news.
 
5.)  Ally and her boyfriend have been dating for a year.  They just purchased "promise rings" for each other.   This is not a practice I am especially in favor of as they are so young, she is leaving for school and it just seems odd to be "pre-engaged" at this time.  Her ring is very dainty and pretty, but worn on the left ring finger. 
 
Any opinions?

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

Many years ago when I was still a young new mom I remember asking my mother how they had managed to raise us with such a strong sense of personal responsibility.  She said she had no idea.  That it wasn't something they had consciously done, yet 4 out of the 5 of us have that value at our core.

Ally and I were having lunch in one of those soup & salad places today and we were noticing how many people took the no charge blue glass meant for water only and were filling them up with sodas and other drinks.  This brought about a discussion about values and she asked me the same question I asked my mom:  How did you raise us to be this way?

For me there was a conscious effort, but it was such a constant  discussion and modeling of behaviour that it, apparently sunk in without feeling hammered in!  I know that "walking the talk" means doing as you say - but it also means speaking out and explaining why you are doing things, what the decisions are based on and when it is a bad decision (like my tendency to drive over the speed limit on the freeway) that I am willing to accept responsibility for paying for a ticket should I be pulled over.  On the other hand, I never speed on residential streets because I so dislike it when others do so on the streets where we live.  Speaking these things out loud, explaining my reasoning is something my kids have always been interested in hearing and sometimes, debating!

By the same token, when I have seen an action taken by others that I don't agree with, I might point it out and explain why or ask them what they think of it.  Getting into discussions of values and judgement.  Sometimes it was successful and sometimes it wasn't - but I still tried to engage in those discussions with some frequency and from the time they were very little.

I think it is important to do the right thing even when you could get away with doing the "wrong" thing - or as I always say to them "just because you can doesn't mean you should."  Parents who teach their kids what they call "shortcuts" or ways to cheat or how to "get away with" getting a soda without paying for it are raising kids without a sense of right and wrong. 

As it is kids are growing up in a world where Wall Street employees make millions based on their deceptions, there are "cheat codes" available for video games and their sports heroes are doping to get ahead.  So the belief becomes "everyone does it, why not me?"  Parents are the strongest antidote to societal ills.

Ally was surprised and angered to hear that businesses pass on the loss of legitimate income from shoplifting and other thefts (like unpaid sodas) by raising the prices on all their goods for everyone.  We all pay for the cheaters.  Both out of our pockets, with the damage to our society inflicted by the mistrust and loss of respect for our fellow citizens and, most importantly to me, with the damage  increased cynicism etches on our souls.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  My mom is a lefty.  Because of this, I grew up a bit ambidextrous and mixed up.  I ironed with the board backward for years, I sew awkwardly in the wrong direction and I have always had to stop and think a moment when coming up with right or left.  It was a revelation to me when I learned righty tighty and lefty loosey just a few years ago.  It cleared up so much confusion for me! 

I've had my car with one of those electronic keys for about 5 years and only about a week ago did I realize that I don't have to look at the buttons on the key because righty locks it tight and lefty opens it loose!  My light bulb moments are getting mundane - but at least I still have them occasionally.


2.)  Thursday nights there is a big patio party with live music, multiple bars, fire pits, big screen TV and I don't know what all else at the restaurant next door to the hotel.  It draws a huge crowd every week - valet parking is necessary for the overflow parking.  The police are out in force at 10 when the music stops to pick off the drunks in their cars.  We get a lot of very tipsy people trying to come into our place for the nice bathrooms and sometimes to keep drinking after the party shuts down.

Apparently the crowd at this event is on the older side.  But I have to say - I am really tired of middle aged  men coming into our bar complaining or joking loudly about "all the cougars" next door. I find the term offensive and every one of the guys is just as old or older than any of the women I have seen coming and going.

Why do men feel entitled to younger women.  Why do they feel entitled to put down women of their age who are out there having a good time?  She we just be locked away after 35?  Am I taking this too personally?

3.)  I took Ally to see the Head & Neck doc today.  Her frequent sore throats, strep and mono have gotten to the point that she is insisting she wants her tonsils out.  The doc agreed that her tonsils were huge and it could be beneficial to have them out.

I have no problem with doing it.  I had tonsillitis repeatedly well into my 20's and never had mine out but would have liked to.  I can understand her misery and she is sick a lot.  The problem?  Her dad.  He is adamantly against any medical alterations to the body.  He didn't even like letting her get her ears pierced.

So my question is - do I go against him in this?  She will be 18 in a couple of months and can make the decision completely on her own - should we just wait?  Any input on teens getting tonsils removed?

MORE GRADUATION CELEBRATION

Okay - pretty soon I will get over all the celebrating.  But I just have to share a few more photos 'cuz I'm just all about my family right now.

Ally and Zac following the ceremony.



Ally wth some of her graduation loot at our celebratory lunch.



Ally and Tom dancing at the party.



Ally having fun with her friends.

We put on a party with 4 other families - we had a DJ, a dance floor, lots of food, a fire with s'more makings, a HUGE cake and much more.  The party was supposed to end at 1am but everyone was having so much fun we didn't get home until after 3!

The weather was still cool for graduation and the party, but a good time was had and now we get focused on getting Ally ready to move into the dorms in August.

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.)  Someone at work started calling this month Juneuary.  Very apt.  We are having very cold, rainy spring. In addition to feeling Spring-deprived, I am getting nervous about Ally's graduation next week - the ceremony is held outdoors and in the evening...When Maggie and Zac graduated 5 years ago it was one of the hottest June days on record.  So maybe we will have the coldest one for Ally's graduation!

2.)  Ally is shopping for a roommate on Facebook.  SF State has a set up so the students can meet online and try to  find themselves a good roommate match.  I hope it is more successful than the matches that the dorms made in my day - there was no rhyme or reason to a sheltered suburban, liberal, lover of music like Traffic and Chicago ending up with a girl who was raised on a ranch, listened to country, swore like a sailor and took one look at me and called me a hippy.  Turns out I was her second roomie - the first one was African-American and her family threw a fit.  The original roommate I was paired with might have been a better match for me!

3.)  Zac has settled into staff housing at the CSUMB campus.  He is going to be the AmeriCorps*  staff position in the Service Learning Institute.  He will earn very little money this year, but will be awarded an education stipend at the end of his service.  It is also a bonus for the grad school resume. 

He always said he was interested in the Peace Corps but does not have the second language skills they tend to require.  Plus now he is more interested in service and social justice studies and not so interested in teaching math.

By the way, I learned that people over 55 can join AmeriCorps and transfer the education stipend to their child or grandchild!  Pretty cool for those who want to serve the country and help their family, too.

4.)  I heard in passing that Brad and Angelina's kids are questioning their not being married.  Then I  read that the last census found that married couples are now in the minority in this country; down 4% - while couples living together have risen 13%.  They have found that many couples are waiting to complete their educations, get settled in jobs and just generally wanting to be older and more mature before marriage.  I think that is great.

My parents married while in college and they encouraged their children to wait to be married - my dad said 30 was a good age.  Four out of 5 of us waited and we are all still married.  The sister who married young has been married and divorced 3 times now!  Just saying...

Then again, my parents have managed to stay together 58 years!

5.)  Did you know that you can be ticketed for jaywalking if you enter a crosswalk with less than 5 seconds left on the countdown?  I didn't.  Six of out out of town hotel guests were ticketed today just trying to go out to lunch.  Hope the revenue raised is worth the bad vibe sent out to the guests visiting out city.


*AmeriCorps is a program of the Corporation for National and Community Service, an independent federal agency whose mission is to improve lives, strengthen communities, and foster civic engagement through service and volunteering.

A BIG, BUSY WEEK OR SO



Zac & Maggie



Our daughter Maggie came home for the first time in 2 years!  We have not seen her since her graduation last May.  She saved up her days off and came out to attend her twin brother Zac's graduation and little sister Ally's Senior Ball send off.

We have been having a lot of fun shopping and lunching and visiting.  We 3 girls even went to see the movie "Bridesmaids" and had some major laughs. 

 I squeezed in a few days of work between events and now Maggie and Zac are off on a camping, hiking and beer tasting trip before Maggie has to go back to work in Philadelphia and Zac back to Monterey to pack up his school apartment and move into staff housing at CSUMB prior to starting his new role as a post-grad staffer.



Zac showing us his rope bridges.



While we were in Monterey we attended an ceremony where Zac received an award recognizing his  contributions to the Service Learning program.  We also attended his Capstone Presentation where he showed the documentary he made of his teaching project incorporating cultural awareness and math with 15 high school students who built rope bridges like the ancient Incas.  He was mobbed by teachers in the audience wanting copies of the documentary and his curriculum! 



Family dinner following awards ceremony.



My parents came for the events and then left to drive up to Idaho for another grandchild's high school graduation.  They will visit with some friends then make their way back to us for Ally's graduation in mid-June. 

I agreed to rush back from the ceremony on Saturday morning to work my shift in the hotel in the afternoon with the provision that Ally and her friends could meet at the hotel for the pre-Senior Ball photo session.



Ally & Christian

There were 4 couples and therefore 8 sets of parents - it was like a paparazzi storm!  My camera did not do well in the low light so I am hoping to get some copies of the group photos from the other parents.

The kids had fun and so did the parents.  They brought snacks and had drinks from the bar before they caught the bus to San Francisco and the boat which cruised the Bay all evening.  It sounds like they all had a really good time. 

I am pooped out from all the activity - good thing I have a few weeks to re-group before the next big event!

DRINKING WITH THE KIDS

I read a few days ago about a new study on teens and alcohol and whether being given alcohol by their parents led to "educated" drinking or abuse.  I was disturbed that they threw parents who supplied alcohol to partying teens in with parents who offered it at dinner or in family situations.  Apples and oranges, in my mind.

My own parents offered us wine with dinner when we reached our teens.  Not to excess, but enough to learn about feeling the effect of some alcohol.  They opened some champagne when I turned 18 but I don't recall any cocktails being offered until college - though not yet 21. 

They were very open about discussing the effects of alcohol and we could also observe  because they enjoyed their "before dinner" drinks and had  parties at home.  I could see that drinking could make things fun - up to a point.  I never liked to see people get "out of control" and never wanted to be like that.

The first times I drank outside outside our home I was a senior in high school and there was mostly beer around.  I never have liked it so I would carry a can around to be sociable but didn't drink it.  The first time I drank too much it was some Tawney Port that someone brought to a party. It was "wine" but with a punch I didn't expect.  That was my first "embrace with a  toilet" -  not to mention the hangover.   I learned the lesson to pay attention to how I was feeling instead of assuming I could handle a couple of glasses of something.  Those are things I shared with my kids - ways to deal with "social pressures" and what happens when you don't drink mindfully.

When I came home from college (fake ID in my wallet) my dad decided that I needed to learn to drink like a "classy woman".  Scotch and water became my drink.  It was a way to make sure I knew what it was that I was drinking, rather than trying all kinds of things without knowing their effect on me.  Plus it was amazing how infrequently I was carded when I ordered scotch!  Low calorie, too.

We have done the same with our kids. We are actually much more occasional drinkers compared to my parents.  We have offered small glasses of beer or wine when they were teens and home with us.  Sips of cocktails.  Frank discussions of the effects of alcohol, differences between different kinds of drinks and tips to avoid overdoing it.  (My trick is to order a glass of water with each drink and don't order another drink until the water is gone. It slows down the number of drinks and dilutes the effect of the alcohol on the body.) 

When my older daughter decided she wanted to see what to was like to get drunk, she was with a group of girlfriends and learned that she "loves everybody" - a very important thing to know in advance of drinking around guys!  I  am a very giggly drunk which my kids have enjoyed observing the once or twice a year that I over indulge.

My older kids are now 23.  One is into nice wines, the other brews his own beer.  They are both social drinkers and while I know they have also over indulged, I don't think they have set out to drink themselves into a stupor as so many young people seem to do.  My youngest is still in high school and is not with a crowd that drinks at all.  Though I know that will change in college. I have warned my girls to be careful of who is giving them a drink and of not leaving their drink unattended because of the dangers of drugs being added.

By the time they turn 21, 86% of American youths have used alcohol, according to the 2009 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, and 50% are binge drinking (defined as having five or more drinks in a single session for men, and four or more for women.)  Surveys have shown that teens who drank along with their parents were only one-third as likely to binge and half as likely to be regular drinkers.

Many teens grow up drinking wine with their parents as an accompaniment to meals in wine-producing countries like Italy and France, where there is no minimum legal drinking age. But research is mixed on whether those teens are more or less likely to be problem drinkers.  Apparently the countries with the most binge drinking are those where drinking takes place primarily in bars rather than at home.

I would never offer drinks to other kids under 21 nor allow underage drinking at a party in my home.  I think each family has a right to make decisions about teaching responsible drinking in their own way.  For 2 generations my family has had success by introducing alcohol at home. Opening the dialogue and educating our kids has worked for us.

What is your take or experience with this issue?

LIFE WITH A TEEN: PLEASE DISCUSS

This is the debate today:  Ally's first two classes of the school day are not academic classes.  She works as an aid in the office first period and has advanced drama second period.  Ally is something of an insomniac.  She also has nights when I am aware she is on her phone late at night, which I have pointed out is not conducive to going to sleep!

She has good grades, she is conscientious about attending her academic classes and will drag herself to school when she is sick so she does not fall behind.  However, there have been a number of mornings when she has needed to sleep in either because she is sick, has been sleepless much of the night or up very late completing homework.  At the beginning of the school year I allowed it occasionally and called the attendance office to explain that she would be in for second or third period.

Then the letter came.  It said Ally is a truant.  She has missed too many hours of school due to unexcused absences.  One reason was the day we took to visit colleges.  I thought that since she was signed out for the Senior Picnic we were good, but apparently not.  We were supposed to get permission in advance to take a day out of school to visit colleges, even though she would have missed school to go to the water slides. 

I spoke with the school attendance office about the other days which I had called in about and learned that even though I called, it was not excused.  Students are not considered sick if they are only out for a period or two of class.  She said in the future to say she had an appointment.

Since that first letter I have not allowed her to miss any classes except for real appointments.  Each time,  I have gotten another letter.  They are taking this stuff really seriously and I don't want to to cause a problem for Ally in the future (should it show up in some records search for a job, scholarship, etc.)

So - today Ally wanted to sleep in and miss the first two periods.  She has not been feeling well.  However, she managed to hang out with her friends all weekend, including last night to watch Pretty Little Liars.  So I said no, she had to get up and go to school or stay in bed all day.  She was very angry.  She texted me multiple times to state her case - they were not academic classes, they just sat around not doing anything important, in drama their production was over, etc.

I stuck with my position that I wouldn't lie so she could sleep in.  Am I being too much of a rule follower?  The attendance person handed me the proper excuse to use, so is that a still a lie?  Ladies of the internet - should I relent the next time this comes up?  I am not interested in being a hard ass, just doing the right thing.

IT'S UP TO YOU

I attended the advanced drama class Children's Theater production of "It's UP to You" today.  Ally is playing Boo in this student written and acted musical comedy production. 

The students perform for classes from the local elementary schools.  They make the show interactive, pulling kids into the play and asking them to participate in other ways.  It is very clever with numerous characters and themes taken from popular cartoons and movies.

Ally's friend Annie plays Cruella DeVille who is the villain in the piece - she needs to learn a lesson about sharing and caring...and in the end, she does!

HARRY POTTER FANS FOREVER

Ally has been shrieking every time there has been an ad for the new Harry Potter movie for the last  month or so.  She has had her tickets since the first day they went on sale.  Each time Rupert Grint appears on a talk show or other appearance she informs us she plans to marry him and have ginger babies.

Ally and her friend are all dressed up in their Harry Potter tees and ready to go sit in line for the midnight showing of the latest epic movie.  Ally is taking her Hogwarts snuggy to keep warm.

And her wand to keep entertained. Can you tell they are drama  kids? 

MORE ON BEING A PARENT OF A SENIOR

Beware parents of young children.  You not only need to be saving for college, you need to save for your child's Senior year of high school!

As I complained  posted about before, the escalation of each event in the lives of our kids has gotten ridiculous.  The "Senior Picnic" was held, not in a park with Frisbees and BBQed burgers, but at Waterworld and cost a whopping $85.00.  The payment form for the Senior Grad-Night  presented to me at registration in August was $175.00.  Of course there were other add-ons including a t-shirt stating that I am the parent of a senior for $26.00! 

Now, in October, I am required to pay for the graduation "materials."  After I waded through all the class rings and class hoodies and class memory book and senior jewelry and "bling charms" for the tassel - I am getting closer to the bottom line.  They hide the cost of the simple cap, gown and tassel choice.  It isn't even on the individual items order form!  They are pushing their "packages" so hard that they make it near impossible to compare the prices for what you really want or need.  They have thrown in so many little charges for this and that and require that you order a minimum of 25 of everything.

Finally I located the cost of the cap and gown (which we buy now, not rent like in the olden days.)  That is $24.00 and is required by the school.  To order just the 25 announcements it is $27.25.  ((Last time around, I needed maybe 10 announcements, maybe I can find someone to share a package...)  So to get the minimum it will cost me $51.25.  The "Value Packages" start at $116.10. 

I might not be so outraged  irritated by the whole thing in March.  But they insist on the payment for this now - 8 months before graduation.  And it appears to have nothing to do with the actual graduation items, because they are shipping the "senior celebration" items in 4-6 weeks.  They don't even say when the actual graduation items will be sent.  So they are forcing us to pay for his stuff now in the hopes that we will buy a bunch of other stuff.  Why not just send out a catalog of the other stuff as "holiday gift giving ideas"  and leave the grad stuff closer to graduation? 

Right now I can afford this.  I finally have a job again and my husband is having a good year, too.  I think of how hard this would have been to take last year and I feel for those families who are already wondering how they are going to handle the holidays. 

No one wants to cheap out when it comes to our kids.  My daughter already feels like she is the only one of her friends not "spoiled" by their parents.  But I'll be darned if I am going to give in to this money grab.  I am buying the minimum and no more.  I'll make it up to her in other ways.

SUPER SEVENTEEN

Every parent wonders how the years go by so fast - how did she get to be 17?

Happy Birthday to my little Ally Sally!

WHERE I WANT TO BE TONIGHT

It may be unseemly for a 56 year old woman with a daughter dressed up to go out looking like this:

                                                                   Ally and Annie

to beg want to tag along.   But she and her friend are going to see:

And I do love Lady Gaga so much that I would be willing to look like an idiot attending her concert at my advanced age in my white slacks and yellow and white striped shirt with matching yellow flats.  No glitter.  No funny hats or wild make-up. 

I do know the words to most of the songs, though.  And I would dance. 

Maybe Ally will bring me a tee shirt?

P.S.  No tee shirt ($60.00 Yikes!!) - but she said the show was fabulous!

JUNIOR PROM

At last after weeks of shopping , planning and set backs and assorted drama - Prom Night has come and gone. Everyone had a good time and now we can get on with post-prom life!

MORE ROAD TRIP HIGHLIGHTS

When I was a kid my family was into camping. We camped all over California and up into Oregon and Washington State - so I spent a lot of time in a car with my siblings. My kids have gone on very few long car trips and it was made very clear by Ally's reactions to some of the sights on our road trip!

We travelled highway 101 north up the coast. It doesn't take long for the cities to become towns and the towns to become smaller and smaller. The freeway then "ends" and starts again as we travel through the towns and there is cross traffic. Ally was freaked out that the freeway was suddenly going to come to and end - leaving us adrift. When I explained the way it works, she was then amazed that there was such a thing as a town smaller than the one in which we live (population 67,000!) She was at first horrified that people could actually live in a town of 2 or 300 people, then became enchanted by the countryside and decided it might be okay.

I was able to point out a lot of the places my family had gone camping when I was a kid. We especially loved camping in the redwoods and near the coast. I remember the feeling of enchantment in the fern filled forests. She was enticed by all the sign for this roadside attraction - Confusion Hill - but when we pulled into the parking lot it was closed so we had to learn it's mysteries on the internet later on in our motel room!

We had some fun with road signs - I about drove off the road I was laughing so hard when she reacted to a "slide ahead" sign with a "whoo hoo!" Thinking playground rather than rocks...

Then there were the towns with one flashing yellow light swinging in the middle of the main intersection but peppered with "Congestion" signs up and down the street. Irony? Wishful thinking?

Even with my dieting we had some nice meals. I had read about this little restaurant in Ashland which is directly across from Southern Oregon University. It was as wonderful as the "yelp" reviews indicated and is colorful and pretty inside, too. I have to admit that I steered Ally wrong on her menu selection. I have to admit it because blogging about my mistake was the only apology she would accept.

She wanted to order a bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon. The menu also listed capers and red onion. I said they always have all those things on the plate and you can assemble what you like. This is what was delivered to the table:

I WAS WRONG!! I AM SORRY!!

Eventually she got used to me asking questions of the students we ran into and I got used to her refusal to choose a restaurant. I let her eat junk without comment and she stopped trying to get me to eat junk with her. She went along with lights out at 11pm and I let her sleep when I woke up at 6am. So, we got along just fine considering we traveled over 1200 miles and spent 5 days in the car together!

FRIDAY FAST ONES

1.) I have such bad Spring Fever that I have doubled up on my lottery ticket purchases to increase my chances of winning and never having to work again. Why is it that I am getting calls for jobs now that the weather is so nice? Don't I sound like a spoiled teenager?

2.) I am really close to ignoring the news from now on. I just get so upset and discouraged by our government, the crazy right winger/tea bagger people and the party leaders who will not admit that they are crazy AND the media that focuses on such stupid, gossipy non -of-our-business crap and ignores the really important things.

I could go on and on but listening to Sarah Palin saying that the "mainstream media" was making up the brick throwing, spitting and verbal attacks on public officials , this after she posted names of congress people with rifle cross-hairs next to them and the slogan "Don't retreat - reload" was just too much for me. Why doesn't anyone stand up and call her out as the smarmy liar that she is???? John McCain deserves to lose his seat for getting involved with her again.

3.) Ally and I survived the long haul of shopping for a Junior Prom dress. We found something she loves that is both affordable and not too flesh baring. In fact, since her boyfriend is a Senior, we found another dress, on sale for half price which fit her perfectly and was a more mature, Senior Ball look, so we bought that too. We were really pleased with ourselves. We stopped in to have a salad and iced tea ( the Prom dress is snug and requires a few pounds be trimmed from the waistline...) and chatted about things including our upcoming trip to Philly for Maggie's graduation.

Suddenly it dawned on Ally - is the Senior Ball the same day we are going to Philadelphia? A call to a friend affirmed - yes. SAME DAY. Non-exchangeable, non-refundable tickets for the trip. Dress not returnable. Dad unmovable about letting her stay home anyway. Her boyfriend really unhappy, Ally really unhappy. Sigh.